to not have taken 10m old DD to these wedding receptions

[BlueBubblegum]

DH and I attended two wedding receptions and 1 'pre-wedding' function over the last weekend. One of them was a first cousins wedding and the other a family friend. All three were in the evening and we didnt get home until 1am every night.

DH and I both agreed it would be best for DD to stay at home as she goes to bed at 7pm and never wakes before 6am, so we arranged for a family friend to babysit for us after DD went to sleep. DD loves her sleep and will only sleep in her cot (very rarely sleeps in buggy, max of 20mins if she does fall asleep in there).

We got lots of comments whilst there with regards to this arrangement, everyone expected us to bring DD with us, show her off, get her in pictures etc. Hearing these comments made me feel a little guilty and a bit selfish too but surely it was better for her to stay at home and get her sleep rather than be at an event with loud music, flashing disco lights and hundreds of people well past her bedtime? I'd imagine she'd be very over tired and wouldnt sleep in her buggy (not for very long anyway).

So were we being too precious with DD? She is on a really good routine at the moment and is such a happy baby when she gets her sleep & food on time, but a very cranky one when she doesnt.

That's an interesting point about culture, cory. DD seemed very suited to being on Italian time when we were on holiday, and it suits me too.

I think it's just as reasonable to take a child that you know will be fine, not stressed, enjoy seeing something different and conk out easily in a corner as it is to not take a child because (a) you don't want to or (b) it won't suit your child.

There. All sorted.

Giraffe, the op asked if we thought they were being precious. It's not something I just randomly accused her of. I think 'being precious' is actively trying to 'protect' your children and keep them away from things that you think would be bad for them, when actually would do them no harm at all. That's all. It's my opinion that some people are a bit precious about routine. Not neccesarily the op, as I said. I thought this was an opinion forum after all

Surely it's not about 'routine' but about a tired baby getting to bed at a reasonable hour rather than being forced to stay up and being miserable about it.

I'd have done the same, in fact my two year old was sent to her grandparents at 6pm recently from a wedding.

YANBU. IME at 10months its so easy to undo all your hard work when it comes to bedtime routines. Ive done it couple of times and regretted it afterwards because Ive then had to battle to get the baby back into her usual routine. My DD is nearly 3 now so Ive been able to relax it a bit. Have a great time on the childfree night out!

YANBU - all children are different. My DS1 was able to be popped into a pushchair and would sleep after a certain amount of socialising.

DS2 on the other hand, will stay up while there is anything going on, gets overexcited and won't go to sleep for ages even when he is home, and is awful the next day because he is overtired.

So DS1 went to a lot of functions, but DS2 doesn't because it's just not worth the hassle!!!

YANBU at all, you know what is best for your child.

YANBU - I would have preferred to have left my DD2, she was just turned 4mths at the time, at home with my mum for my BIL's wedding...but it was in london, about 200 miles from us and it would have caused uproar.

As it was she didn't sleep all day got over tired by about 10.00 that night....was a crying,whiging nightmare....I was stressed out to the maximum as nobody else would help with her cause they were to busy socialising and drinking...IL'S that insisted on her being there offered no help and I spent all my time looking after her ignored and alone.
I wish I had told them to feck off and left her with my mum.

YANBU. You are really lucky you have reliable babysitters and a baby who sleeps well, and so why not take the opportunity to enjoy yourselves, safe in the knowledge that your baby is sound asleep and well taken care of? Ignore silly comments.

Weddings with kids in tow are a chore, imo.

joyjac I think the reason she doesnt sleep much in her buggy is because she's used to having her naps in her cot, I usually go out after her nap and food/drink, so she's really well behaved and happy to look around/play with toys when I go for coffee, lunch, shopping etc. Hmmm, maybe I have been too precious

Reasons for not taking her with was a combination of things, DH and I wanted to enjoy ourselves, did not want to disturb DD's sleep and routine, I knew if we'd taken her she would have just cried and whinged anyway because of tiredness and also because it was three late nights in a row.

We did take her for lunch round to cousins though the next day (after pre wedding event but before reception) as they insisted they wanted to see her (I know, its really nice that they're interested). Still didn't stop them from commenting on the issue at the reception though, you cant ever win can you

YANBU

Also I have a ten month old that doesnt sleep in his buggy, my DD did and he doesnt they are all different.

Am going to a wedding July and not taking either of the children, plan on making the most of a free bar with a rare night out with DH