To sat something to my friend.

[ShadeofViolet]

I have a good friend who's PFB (lets say Max) has just started the same preschool that my DS2 goes to (and DS1 went to). She tried for many years to have him and he is a very wanted child.

Every morning she makes such a song and dance about leaving Max - 'Max I am going now'. 'Max will you be okay?' 'Max will you miss Mummy?' 'Dont worry Max, Mummy will be back soon' this goes on for a good 15 minutes. Max is absolutely fine and is off through the door without a second glance, but she is starting to look a bit like a loon, plus he might start playing on her need to be needed. She is a lovely lady and the kind of person that wouldnt mind being told, but would you?

Hmm - hard one - I wouldn't, unless Max starts getting upset when she leaves, in which case, hopefully the pre-school staff might tactfully take charge

I think it would have to be phrased very carefully - i.e. don't tell her she is acting like a loon. Maybe you could bring up in a casual way - maybe you could have 'read something in a magazine' about confident children being not fussed over IYKWIM

If he starts to get clingy, she will eventually twig that she is the cause of it.

Leave it be or maybe distract her at the crucial time

I don´t think I´d say anything.
But, if I was with her I might just try prise her away!

Is there anyway you can somehow get him to go straight in with your son so she doesn´t have the chance to do it?

It might be a novelty thing. Give her a couple of weeks and she'll be dropping and running like everyone else.

scurry - the thing is, sometimes, the parent subconsciously wants to see the child get upset, so they can feel reassured that the child loves them best - for some it's actually a bit hurtful that the child appears not to "need" or miss them.

I ment to say dropping off. Droppping him would be mean!

I won't no, it is not hurting anybody, if the boy starts to get clingy that's another story but then I suppose it is the teacher that has to talk to her if that becomes a problem.

Not saying this is the case here, just stroking my beard, metaphorically speaking

I'd not thought of it like that...almost an emotional abuse really.

Depends how close you are.

if it was a very close friend I would do "stop being a loon and lets go get a coffee".

and kind of continue to tease her gently.

scurry .... noooo - not as bad as that - just a really understandable human need of a parent to be the most important one in a child's life - and find it hard to let go

yy - gentle teasing could work

oh....I can only do one extreme or the other .

It is an odd thing putting your children into childcare - on the one hand, it is awful if they cry and cling to you, on the other, if they toddle off without a backward glance, that can take a bit of getting used to. I'm sure she'll come to terms with it in time

Why don't you say something like 'Isn't it lovely that Max is so self-assured that he goes off quite happily' and then she might realise she's doing it more for her benefit than his

You could try the Distraction Technique - sidetrack her with a question at the critical moment, and move towards the door - hopefully she'll follow you whilst answering - and after a few days of it, she'll have got out of the habit of fussing over leaving him.