To think my mother should tell me if she is going away for the weekend.

[LynetteScavo]

I couldn't get hold of my mother this weekend, despite leaving messages on her answer phone. Neither could my sister, who phoned to ask me where DM was.

I didn't know...she usually mentions if she is going away. Her car was outside her house, so I started to wonder if she'd collapsed, and whether I should dig out her spare key.

So should a 73 year old woman who lives alone inform her daughters if she decided to be whisked away on an impromptu jolly by a long lost friend?

Or should she feel free to do what she wants when she pleases, answering to no one?

hmmmmmmmmmm, can't decide.

I would have probably kicked my mums door in thinking she was lying dead, but then she would tell me if she was going away so I can look after her cat!

I understand your concern though.

but did she have a good weekend?

I'd like to think I could disappear for a weekend when I'm 73.

It depends upon how often you're in contact really. If you speak every day then I suppose she ought to have mentioned it.

I can understand your annoyance if you were worried.

If she usually mentions it she should have told you.
I get nervous when my mum goes off to her allotment on a summer evening straight from work (she's 71 but self employed and won't give up her work) and doesn't come in till nearly 11pm. She never carries her mobile either, can't work out how to use it no matter how many times we tell her...

Sometimes she remembers that I like to know if she's going to be late and tells me, but sometimes she doesn't...

It's a tough one. You don't want your mum to think that you think she is a child but I can see why you would be worried. Would you tell your mum if you went away for the weekend?

I am sure she didn't mean to worry you, but yes, she lives alone, wasn't answering her phone - of course you were worried.

I would want my elderly widowed mum to tell me if she was going away.A phone call is not a big deal to put someone's mind at rest

Or make her carry a mobie phone

My mother went home to Australia for six weeks when she was 71. The first I heard of it was an excited call from my cousin in Brisbane saying what a fab time they were all having and did my mum like strawberries because cousin was making a special birthday pudding for her!!

At 73 you are hardly in your dotage so I think it's reasonable to be allowed to leave your own home without permission. However, if you keep in constant daily contact with your mother then I can understand you being concerned if she appears to have vanished.

ashinyhappyperson, I have tried and failed miserably to get her to use a mobile phone and a bike helmet.

It seems you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

I don't think her age really comes into it. If you are normally in contact with someone, and you decide to go away, it's considerate to tell them so they don't worry. She hopefully had a nice weekend, but your's and your sister's were disrupted through worry.

LynetteScavo i know what u mean. I text my parents last week. No answer. Called down and mentioned that I'd text. Mum said to dad 'I told u that phone was beeping the other day' then to me: 'so I switched it off' classic.

yabu

i plan to worry my dcs constantly by absconding when i'm older

My mum does this all the time, pisses me off but I don't worry, we don't speak on regular scheduled times but randomly so she doesn't worry about missing a certina timed call.
She is only 60 though, so slightly different.

Was she in a tent at a festival with some young man all weekend? (in-joke from another thread, sorry).

I received a text from FIL once, "hello mate, I need your phone number so I can call you. Can you text it to me?"

@ shinyhappy and snobear!

my granny has a mobile because she 'feels safe' on long journeys...
it is switched of, in the box in came in, in her cupboard and she doesn't know how to turn it on much less use it! but its ok cause she 'feels safe'

*off

My grandmother-in-law knitted a little sock to keep her mobile in. I don't know why, maybe she was worried it was cold? Means she can never hear it go off, of course. But at least it's not cold.

YANBU - I would have thought something bad had happened (except in my case tis my Dad, my mum has already died). It's not like she has to tell you where she's going or with whom, if anyone - but a quick "I'm not at home this weekend" would be enough to allay fears beforehand.

ooh, another way in which i can be a mad and annoying old lady. thanks for the idea.

i am keeping a list of ideas for when i'm older, sadly i will probably forget most of them before i hit my 70s, still, i can try.

(btw, yanb totally unreasonable)

"

Or should she feel free to do what she wants when she pleases, answering to no one? "

that one