to be F***KING furious with DH for going fell running tonight

[whittywan]

DS (6 months) was discharged from hospital on Sat afernoon after having been admitted for 24hrs observation (turns out it was 'just' a virus and he is ok now).

He has not slept through the night yet (ever!!) and I take all responsibility for settling him at night (breastfeeding etc) DH then takes him in the morning when he wakes, around 6am, and brings him back to me when he leaves for work, giving me another hour or so to sleep. He is also usually very good at helping with dinner etc when he gets home from work.

Anyway... he had wanted to go fell running with his brother for months and last week I sort of gave in but given the events of the weekend I had hoped he wouldn't go tonight.

He has gone and I have not been able to settle DS to sleep as I usually would so I haven't been able to eat my dinner yet.

DS is currently in the sling and I just feel all babied out and am not looking forward to tonight's issues.

So aibu or aibVu?

Fucking furious is a bit of an over reaction.

I can understand why you would be mildly peed off.

This does of course, give you points to use up later.

you're being unreasonable

but you are allowed to be

it will get better and easier

YABU but hunger and exhaustion were never going to make you anything else!
Hopefully dh will have a nice endorphin rush, and return refreshed to take over so that you can have a midnight feast dinner in peace
Try not to piss on his bonfire by snarling at him like a rabid rottie

You need to get help. (I almost feel like recommending the dreaded Gina Ford, who I despise.)
You have to untrain the baby from needing to be held all the time. Some babies do not settle when you cuddle them, sometime you just have to leave them somewhere safe for a bit, even if crying just to: eat, drink, go to the toilet. This does not make you a bad mother. In fact cuddling all the time can unsettle them.

Okay second point, maybe your DH needs the running to cope with the stress/exhuastion. I'm not a runner but I know runners often do need the exercise just to function.

You need to make sure you have (or he needs to make sure for you, you have) healthy food thats quick and easy to eat. You need to find help, others who can give you a break.

Admittedly if baby has been ill they can be totally disturbed for a while. So may be extra unsettled.

Now if your DH has done his run, you need to arrange for him to take the baby sometime this week for 1/2 to 1 hour or so, and go out without the baby. If only for a coffee (even Mc Donalds). Just get out of ear shot and have a little you time.
Then maybe you can work up to him taking baby out so you can catch up on sleep.

Finally when baby is 18 these problems will not exist, they'll be very different ones. This will get better.

Good luck.

yabu but it's understandable.

YABU, but i would feel the same! (though i would have nagged so much he wouldnt have gone and then I'd have felt mean!)- you've got points in the bank!

Yabu - but can understand why you feel that way. Just make sure he gives you some baby free time soon. It doesn't last forever, although it feels like it sometimes

It gets better, mine occasionally slept through the night from about 18 months. Only occasionally though.

Sometimes if I had to do something -vital like eating, I would put him in his cot, turn his mobile on and let him get on with it for 10 minutes.

Alouiseg - FGS don't tell the OP the horrible truth - it was the hope that the little bugger darling would go through the night tonight that got me through 2.5 years of no sleep.

you are a bit horrid

Thanks

To be fair to DS, he may not sleep through, but usually goes down around 7pm, thus giving us the evening free. It is just since he's been ill that he has been particularly difficult to settle. And he has been distraught whenever I put him down.

DS is home now so lying next to him so I can have my dinner

I agree with the suggestion to call in help from a friend or relative. That's what they're for. Ask for someone to come over and hold DS for an hour while you go out for a walk or coffee. Just do it. Or get them to bring around a cooked meal. Don't feel guilty about asking for help. You can't do this all alone.