to wonder why parents allow their DCs access to facebook??

[BigMommaOfAlmost4]

Have just deactivated DD's (age 13)account (and changed password so she cannot reactivate it)and she will not be allowed to go on it again for the foreseeable future. Hesitated a bit at doing it, I must admit .

She left it open (I usually look at it from time to time) and I saw some stuff on there that was quite shocking (swearing, name calling, threats etc), and then when tackled about it, she's in tears saying girls are spreading stuff about her via it and threatening her.

I really do not see a postive reason for teenagers to use facebook (after all they are with each other most of the day at school), except for shit stirring, back stabbing and showing inappropriate photos of themselves! She also spends a disproportionate amount of time on there and does not do much else!

She will now be in a distinct minority as just about all her friends are on it but I am determined to be strong in the face of her tantrums as I think she will thank me for it one day.

AIBU to wish her friends parents would do the same?? Do parents actually look at what their DCs are posting??

Hi Bigmomma - I have a dd also 13 whom I do allow on facebook.

I have to say that it is a learning curve I have found and that I have also found dd using it inappropriately in the early to mid stages ( posting silly photos/ name calling ( but nothing insulting - just silly stuff on her status ). I had to explain that what would be silly stuff were it said in person can look more hurtful and permenant in print and that if she is to continue with facebook she must adopt a mature attitude.

Pleased to say that she has now.

Dd finds it useful as a way to relax in teh evenings. Sure she reads books too and chats on the phone but facebook is useful for chatting en masse.

Even though they are with eachother all day at school they still seem to find plenty to talk about in the evening - as did we all when we were teenagers too ( then it was just on the phone rather than online).

YANBU.
I understand why it is a useful tool for networking but too many kids are not enjoying the experience. My ds (13) has an account, but most of his contacts are family members, and I do look to see what is posted by 'friends'. He first saw his baby half-sister via FB as she was born on a schoolday and exp lives 40 miles away, ds visits at weekends.
I would not hesitate to do what you have done should the need arise though.

is her account linked to her email?? or yours?

DD13 wants facebook and I am still resisting, however I have signed up to get a feel for it. It's not really my thing, love MN and anonymous posting/chatting but I hate sharing my life with others it seems all to intrusive to me. Sad to say but I only have 5 'friends' on there and I am related to them all. I just can't see the point in taking a picture on my Iphone and posting it with a message along the lines of, we are at the zoo having lunch

I will let her have an account but I will be linking it to mine and monitoring what she is doing. She does have a computer in her room and access to the internet when I am not in but understands that we will be checking her history, posts etc.
No problems yet but we know it will happen.