to give DS his treat early?

[helyg]

DS2 has just turned 6 and is in Year 1. We have been having a few issues with him not behaving in school, not concentrating etc. Since he went into Year 1 I have been called in to see his teacher frequently.

We have started a star chart to try to get him to try harder to behave. He has been doing quite well so far, but was supposed to be getting to the end of this week with all of his starts in order for me to book a trip to theatre to see an adaptaion of one of his favourite books.

But I have just been to parents evening and his teacher completely suprised me. Apparently he has suddenly completely changed his attitude in class. He is trying much harder, and is working independently for the first time ever.

I am (obviously) delighted. I want to show him how pleased I am with him, and am thinking of booking the theatre tickets. especially as there has been a cancellation and we could now have front row seats (last time I looked the best seats were about 9 rows back).

But should I be more strict and wait until he has got all of his stars this week, as I originally said? Am I being too soft?

Goodness me this parenting lark is complicated.

What will you do if you book them and he is awful for the rest of the week?

Can't you buy them and not tell him until he's reached the end of the week?

Berate myself for being too soft probably!

Why don't you book it whilst the good seats are available and not tell him till friday?

Book it and tell him it is an extra because his teacher is happy with him and your proud of the effort he is making

how far into the week is he? did he nly start yesterday, so a long way to go?

when is the show? could you book them now to get the front row seats (not always what they are cracke dup to be, tbh, dependign on theatre layout) and then only tell him about it when he has (hopefully) managed the rest of the week?

I had thought about doing that ANT, but I also want to reward him tonight as I am pleased with him. I want the reward to be sufficiently wow, but I can't stretch to two lots of theatre tickets!

DD has had a riding lesson booked for Saturday as her teacher gave her a glowing report (not suprising), and DS1 has been asked what he would like as a traet as his did too (again, not suprising), so I want DS2 to see that he is being rewarded too, in the hope that it will encourage him to continue!

What soremummy said

The show isn't until the middle of next month.

He had to behave for 4 weeks to get the reward from his star chart, this is week 4 (it finishes on Friday).

Front row seats in this (small) theatre are good, and in this kind of show it is likely that the performers will interact with the people at the front.

Ask him what you should do and discuss your dilemma. Let him take the praise and responsibility for the action. You could even discuss consequence if he falls below your expectations for behavior for the next week.

I would do it-sometimes discipline is about giving a little and relaxing.Your ds has done something extra so he can have his treat early just this once.

soremummy and battery: that is my gut instinct. But I'm having nightmares that he will grow horns and a tail tomorrow in school and I'll wish I hadn't!

hmm, if he is on week 4 of 4, I'd be more inclined.

howold is he? you say your other children have nbeen aske dwhat reward they would like for good reports - could you do the same with him? he does, imo, deserve 2 separate rewards, as he is holding ot his bargain, but also added some extra effort in too.

then he can be rewarded for the report, and also "earn" his tickets as per the chart

He is 6.

I've asked him what he'd like, and he just says to go to see this in the theatre!

The show is an adaptation of one of a series of books and he only has the first one, am tempted to book him the theatre tickets as a "big" reward, and buy him one of other books in the series as a "suprise" reward for if he gets all of his stars.

I owuld be wary of changing the goal psots, tbh.

He has worked hard for his stars, and is doing really well. if you give him the reward for the stars now, then he may well see the books as a "lesser" reward, and that undermines the hard work that has gone into them

could you say "yes, that is your reward for your star chart, what extra special reward would you like?" and see what he says?

if he can't decide, then you could suggest the books to him? or maybe he could have spending money for the theatre trip (is it likely ot have merchandise? programme? even ice cream at the interval if that is not standard)

I have booked the theatre, but haven't told him yet.

Am still trying to decide which way to do it.