To be a teeny tiny bit annoyed with my friends and DPs family?

[waitingimpatiently]

I am doing the race for life at the end of June while being 6 months pregnant. And I'm also cutting 16" off my hair, and collecting sponsors for that for cancer research and donating the hair to a charity that makes real hair wigs to children that have lost their hair to cancer.

All of my friends and DPs family know what this means to me, my dad died 6 years ago of cancer when I was 14 and this is the second year I have done the RFL.
Neither my friends or DPs family have sponsored me this year or last, despite them all saying they would. Some have even asked the website address so they can but have 'forgotten' to sponsor me...

AIBU to be annoyed at them? I'm not even asking much, every little helps.
It's not helping my self esteem to be honest. I'm already unsure about how I am feeling and the fact that I appear to have no friends isn't great.

People have very long memories when it comes to being asked for sponsorship. I did one marathon and was sponsored for it. Then 5 years later I did another one and people asked me in a very exasperated way "You aren't going to want sponsorship for that one as well, are you?" It was 5 years ffs!

And DH's family just ignored my email and request the first time as well. DH said it just isn't his family's way. They just don't do that sort of thing.

So I understand how you feel but people get sponsorship fatigue and are just generally rubbish. YANBU to be annoyed at them but I think generally you have to do these things for yourself and be glad for every bit of money you raise.

Finally, I just donated 15" of hair to the Little Princess Trust. Hated having the hair cut but it made me feel great sending it off.

I think camdancer is right people just get fed up of being asked. I have a policy of never sponsoring anyone (because I simply can't do them all) and I never ask anyone else to sponsor me or my DCs. When we are doing a sponsored event, I just pay up myself. For the DCs I often put down a list of names, so it looks like I've gathered sponsors, but I always fork out the cash myself.

As you said, this is important to you...

As an aside, a friend is doing a sponsored event soon. She has invited all her friends to a curry night "with free food if we sponsor her" Will be a great night and I will sponsor that one generously, as the price of my night out IYSWIM

Thats the charity I'm giving my hair to. I can't wait to get it all lopped off! I've been growing my hair since before my dad died so I think he'd be really proud of me.

DPs family lost DPs aunt to cancer so I'd have thought it was something they'd want to give to.
Hm aren't some people rubbish! I'll have to keep asking I think.

Lisbey - that's a really good idea! My mum and sister are doing the RFL too so I could ask if they wanted to do something similar.
The person who is cutting my hair is doing that for free so I guess that's something!

I'm also doing the race for life and am also finding it hard getting sponsors. Even my mum huffs and puffs every time I mention it!

Wouldn't mind but I've sponsored friends very recently and none of them have sponsored me. Even one or two pounds each just to show their support would be appreciated.

My mums doing really well getting sponsors all her friends are practically rich because they're all well paid engineers where she works. Tut, all my friends are students (even though I asked my friends when they got their loans) or work at sainsburys (am going to ask all them on Friday when they get paid)

Got to admit I'm like Lisbey - I don't sponsor anyone because I get asked so much. I'd rather donate to the charity directly.

However I wouldn't say I was going to sponsor someone and then not. That's just crap.

Tbh, I think it's a bit crap of them not to sponsor you. If they are your friends/family, then they should be well aware of what this means to you and the personal connection - a few quid would go a long way.

I think there are just too many requests now and a huge amount already goes to cancer charities vs. other worthy causes so I tend to try to focus my giving on the less fashionable causes, especially smaller local charities.

Also, I know this sounds harsh but I now only sponsor for things that involve serious training or serious hardship/commitment on the part of the sponsoree.

When I've asked for sponsorship, to make it a bit different/ more interesting I've added a bit of a kicker. When I ran the marathon I said that if I didnt make it in under 4 hrs, I would personally double what anyone else sponsored me. Prob not a good idea to be getting competitive at 6mths pregnant, but you could try that approach next year.

It doesn't mean they're not your friends. I think the important thing is to recognise that people don't have any obligation to sponsor you, that its not an duty of friendship to meet every sponsorship request. I generally only sponsor those that involved some serious training/ committment, as opposed to a 1k fun run or similar. That said, cutting off your hair sounds impressive and lovely.

You might want to think about how you are asking people. I only sponsor if people ask nicely. I know this sounds silly but some people bombard you with requests and there is a tone of expectation that you will sponsor followed by lots and lots of reminders. I tend not to respond to those types of requests, but only to those that let me know they are doing something and that if I would like to sponsor them they would be delighted.

I do generally like being given details of sponsored events people are doing, so I can sponsor them if I wish, as it is a nice way to give something extra to charity, so by all means ask, just don't be upset if people don't want to / can't.

I understand what you mean about only sponsoring people that have trained well or something.

I do try to ask politely (obviously I can't personally judge what someone else may think).

It's not that they won't sponsor me that is upsetting (I always tell people that they don't have to if they don't want to / can't / don't feel like it's their type of charity) it's that they've all said they'd sponsor me and then not done and making it look like they'd forgotten.
If they told me straight that they didn't want to, I would honestly have no problem.
But like it has been said, I need to be grateful for the sponsors I do have (which I am, like I say, every little helps)

Hi i can sympathise - i did a sponsorship last year and again this year and this year is proving much more difficult to get sponsors. Have you tried asking different people and not just the usual suspects? I asked a wider group of people this time - from clubs etc i am involved in even if its only a few pounds from them - every little helps. I was surprise how many acquaintances were keen to sponsor me but made it clear there was no pressure and even a little was better than nothing...