To wait to get married until I have more money...whenever that may be.

[spybear]

DP and I have been together for 8 yrs, we have 4 DC.

We always intended on getting married, but things have always got in the way, such as children, needing a car, bills ect.

The children have his surname, and I don't like having a different name. Also I would like to be married, but feel I am only (hopfully) going to do it once so would like it to be perfect.

I don't want a massive wedding, about £5,000 would be enough for everything I want...but we don't have that money and saving would take a good few years and would mean going without holidays ect.

In your humble opinion mnet ladies, should I stop wasting time and just do it on the cheap or save for exactly what I want.

(DP would just like to get married BTW, he doesn't care about 'the day'.)

If I had my time again, dh and I would have snuck off to a registry office with a couple of mates as witnesses. Followed by dinner at Scotts and a night at Claridges, maybe two nights.

And my wedding was reasonably smallish in the first place.

I would have worn a gorgeous trouser suit that wouldn't be sitting in the loft now.

Just do it

I'd lose the word "cheap" in your calculations and get in your head the idea that you are choosing the sort of wedding that suits you, right now. That it won't be the horrendous, full meringue, Tango-tanned, 3-ring circus sort of nuptials that so often waste thousands and thousands of pounds is all the better. It'll be meaningful to you and your dp. And that's who matters.

The key is to get the ceremony done at the registry office (you can choose whichever local one seems nicest, and they come ready flowered) and then veto any use of the W word for any other part of the event. You are booking A Party, for which you want A Nice Dress, and perhaps to book A Taxi. Suddenly everything is fifty percent cheaper.

My first wedding was about 150 people, church, cars, huge frock, bridesmaids, big party, loads of people that at least one of us barely knew, complicated family politics, etc etc. Could barely remember any of it.

Second wedding, 16 people, simple dress, no cars, no-one there who wasn't really special to us, no politics, no stress, just a lovely relaxed lunch at a lovely hotel afterwards, and I have memories of a really nice day. Would do that every time now. (well, not that I'm planning on getting married that many more times, but you know what I mean!)

TBH, unless you've got a very rich father there are so many better things to spend your money on.