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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think school could have assessed the extent of ds's injury more accurately?

13 replies

geekgirl · 14/06/2010 20:02

Bear with me - it's been an exhausting day - not only did I have the drama with ds, I also had dd1 at home / appt at fracture clinic in the pm with a suspected broken elbow. Anyhow... this morning school rang to tell me that ds (6) had fallen over in the playground and chipped a baby tooth but was 'absolutely fine' although there was a lot of bruising. They made a point of saying that a TA who used to be a dental nurse had a good look, with latex gloves and all, and that it was just a baby tooth and all was ok but I might like to make an appt with the dentist just to have him checked, which was why they'd rung me.
As I was about to take dd1 to the fracture clinic I was happy to hear I didn't need to pick ds up and that it was just a baby tooth, all fine etc.
Fast forward to this afternoon ... I picked ds up and was horrified by what I saw. The side of ds's face was really smashed up. 4 teeth had been moved out of position, including his two permanent incisors, one of which was chipped. He had been told they were baby teeth and had been wobbling them all day. I rang the dentist whilst I was still in the playground, hurried home to get the car and floored it to the dentist. The dentist removed, under local anaesthetic, a milk tooth that had been completely pushed out of position. He x-rayed the permanent teeth and said that ds had been extremely lucky as the roots are still growing and that it would have been a completely different story if he'd been 11 instead of 6. Hopefully the teeth will move into their normal positions again, and the chipped corner can be repaired.
I cried in the waiting room when telling the receptionist what had happened, and I cried again in the surgery - it was just such an awful mess, and ds had the most gorgeous, even teeth.
They were all aghast that school didn't think it was serious.
Ds's (trainee) teacher even said he had to do PE, despite ds protesting that he might fall and hurt his face . Thankfully a TA stepped in and said he shouldn't do PE. He had no painkillers and was unable to eat his school lunch - unsurprising considering he needs to be on custard etc only for a week, according to the dentist. He couldn't even close his mouth properly because of the way his teeth had been moved.

Dh is absolutely livid and has written a very angry email to the head. It's all very difficult for me as it is a tiny school and I have very friendly relationships with the people involved - but I was just utterly aghast when I saw ds and his poor teeth. I feel rotten - I should have gone in. But the TA I spoke to was so insistent that 'all was fine'

OP posts:
getsonmynerves · 14/06/2010 20:08

Oh poor you and poor ds! That is horrible. Not unreasonable at all and you're right to raise a concern with the school. Hope ds recovers really really quickly.

littleducks · 14/06/2010 20:09

I dont think the TA ex dental nurse or whatever should have been checking his teeth with latex gloves tbh, i'm not normally one to be fussy but presumerably she isnt insured, maybe even not qualified to do that

They should have been more cautious

Could your dentist perhaps contact the school to stress how serious his injuries were and that in future such incidents should be dealt with by a qualified dentist

herladyshiplovesedward · 14/06/2010 20:11

oh no.. poor you, and poor ds

YANBU, school should have responded better

when ds was 13 he suffered a fractured cheekbone at school and the student welfare office refused to let him ring me and insisted he was 'fine'

not suprising you feel tearful, hope he is soon on the mend

waitingimpatiently · 14/06/2010 20:13

That's awful! Of course YANBU!
I would be absolutely furious and I think you're doing the right thing by writing to the head.
To be honest, I think schools are useless. When I was in high school, a friend of mine was complaining of severe stomach pains but they told her to stop being soft and she ended up staying the whole day, for her then to go into hospital that night with appendicitis and it almost ruptured.
I hope you feel better soon and hope your DSs mouth and face are all ok.

mumblechum · 14/06/2010 20:21

Your poor ds. Hope he feels better soon.

ExitPursuedByABear · 14/06/2010 20:26

How awful. What on earth was the school thinking? Hope your ds is OK now and that you get some satisfaction with the school. Don't worry about your relationship with the school, they must surely realise that they should have done more.

ElizabethWakefield · 14/06/2010 20:33

Poor DS, hope he is ok I agree that you have done the right thing by writing a letter.

geekgirl · 14/06/2010 20:38

I still feel so guilty - but the school was so insistent and confident that it was all fine . He didn't even get an ice pack.

And they ring me every time dd1 (10) complains that she feels a bit sick [aka feels like being home instead].

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 16/06/2010 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheBoyWithaSORNedMX5 · 16/06/2010 16:27

Bloody hell. YANBU.

Please do ask the dentist to contact the school, particularly seeing as the teacher wanted him to do PE. FFS!

Your poor ds

You have nothing to feel guilty about though - they need to feel very guilty however.

bumpybecky · 16/06/2010 16:54

that's awful!

can I suggest that you take some photos today, and again over the next few days as the bruising comes out. It's possible you're going to end up making a formal complaint about this and from what you have said photographic evidence might be useful to persuade the Govenors that you are not overreacting (easy to say months afterwards if they've not seen your ds).

I hope he's feeling much better very soon.

Megatron · 16/06/2010 16:59

Aw, your poor wee fella what a horrible day it must have been for him. Hope he's feeling better now and of course YANBU and you have nothing to feel guilty for, you were assured all was well why would you doubt it? I know what you mean about the small school/friendly relationship issue but you need to put that to one side and deal with this, it should never have happened.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 16/06/2010 18:44

You are not being at all unreasonable to have expected more sense from the school. I would be tempted to ask the TA, teacher and Head whether they would be staying on at work if their mouths had been smashed up like that!

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