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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at BIL even though it's actually DHs fault?

22 replies

Eve4Walle · 14/06/2010 15:30

Basically, we had tickets to see a very popular rock band at Wembley this weekend. Bought them last summer when we had some cash but cannot now go as we just don't have the money to travel there and eat etc. DHs brother said he'd buy them from us and DH told him to send us a cheque for £90, which was the face value minus the VAT.

BIL has sent a cheque for £90, despite it saying the price plus VAT on the actual tickets, which makes them more than £90 (by about 12). Am gruMpy because a. BIL should know they are worth more than £90, and B. DH should have checked the price with me first.

Now we are out of pocket, things are tight and I am naffed off.

Just wanted a moan really.

OP posts:
Kathyjelly · 14/06/2010 15:48

BiL might be doing you a favour because he knows money is tight. £90 is the price your dh asked and that's what he's paid. Seems reasonable.

I can understand being short of cash is making you a bit stressed but sorry, yes I think YAB a litle bit U. I bet you're also disappointed not to go to Wembley. Sorry you're having a bad time.

zipzap · 14/06/2010 15:55

COuld you ring up your bil and just be very jolly about you've just come to pay in cheque and realised that your dh is a ninny because he's told him the wrong price; do a bit of wibbling about how he'd forget his head if it wasn't screwed on etc.

And then just ask him if he wants to send/give you a cheque for the right amount and you to give the original cheque back to him, or if he wants to just send a cheque for the remainder. Don't let him get a breath in to say that your dh had said it was ok; carry on that you're really sorry that you really love a cheque as you need the money to go into the bank because that's the reason you're selling the things in the first time and he's so lucky to be going and hope he has a lovely time and and and...

and hopefully by the end of all that he will be writing out a cheque to send to you. And he won't try saying that dh has had the difference in cash or dh had said he could have them for that amount regardless. And point out that it was not for DH to say that, as you had agreed between you that you were selling them on for the same price as you desperately needed the money at the moment. (Of course this is dependent on you not minding telling bil that you need the money, appreciate it might not be that easy)

If you had sold them back or sold them on to other friends, would you have been able to get a better price for them do you think or are you lucky to have sold them at all?

good luck at getting the money out of him.

GeekOfTheWeek · 14/06/2010 16:00

If they are only worth more by the £12 then yabu.

Not fair to ask the bil for more money now.

yanbu to be pissed at dh for not discussing first.

Original poster
Eve4Walle · 14/06/2010 16:04

I know I can't ask for more money now and wouldn't ever consider asking for it. Just a bit fed up about it all.

OP posts:
kitsmummy · 14/06/2010 16:04

Yabu, you got face value for them, you don't have the hassle of selling them on ebay, and you might not have sold them for full price on ebay anyway. BIL has taken away the hassle factor of you selling them on some other way and he's paid what he was asked. It would be quite cringy of you to go back and ask for the £12 now.

Rindercella · 14/06/2010 16:06

YABU at being annoyed with your BIL - your DH told him a price and he has paid it. Your DH should've discussed the price with you first though to make sure he'd got it right and that you were happy with it.

However tight things are, it would not be worth falling out with your BIL for the sake of 12 quid.

babywalks · 14/06/2010 16:11

YABU - sounds like BIL is doing you a favour tbh. What would you have done if he didn't offer to buy them from you? Would you not have lost a lot more than just the VAT? Plus that is what he was asked to pay so really you should be speaking to your DH about it. Your lucky you managed to get someone to buy them at such late notice though.

NarkyPuffin · 14/06/2010 17:05

Are you upset because you could have sold them to someone else for more than face value?

hairytriangle · 14/06/2010 17:07

You should be pissed off at DH if anyone, BIL has just given what he was asked to give!

prettybird · 14/06/2010 17:15

"Face value" is £102 - ie the total including VAT.

YABU to be pissed off at BIL, but YANBU to be pissed off at yur dh for being stupid.

Your BIL may not even have noticed that the itckets say £45 plus VAT - he may just have seen the £45 and assumed it was including VAT?

(BTW - I presume you also paid a booking fee, as it seems almost impossibel to buy tickets nowadays without getting one imposed)

you can't make it to the concert yourself.

compo · 14/06/2010 17:21

I wouldn't cause a huge family ruck for £12 especially as it might backfire and bil back out and you end up with nothing

maltesers · 14/06/2010 17:26

YANBU

upahill · 14/06/2010 17:54

You are being daft.
As others have said he has helped you out and you have got a fair amount for them with out any hassle.
You have lost £12 which is better than losing the whole amount if you hadn't been able to move them on.

Stop moaning, being tight and be grateful.
If my family member rang me up and said that their DH was a ninny and had forgot to put vat on I would think they were a tight cow and wouldn't bother with them and be tempted to tell her to stick the tickets right up her arse and see how much money she gets for them then!

nagoo · 14/06/2010 18:53

YABU. Leave it alone now.

DuelingFanjo · 14/06/2010 18:56

I don't understand, he was asked for £90 and he gave you £90?

verytellytubby · 14/06/2010 18:58

I don't understand why you are pissed off with your BIL. He was told 90 quid which he's paid. You'd look really tight if you ring up for the VAT.

Sn0wflake · 14/06/2010 19:36

I don't want to upset you but you are being tight. He's family so I think a slight reduction in price is the nice thing to do. He's done you a favour to take them off your hands.

You have money problems and that is hard but you are just going to have to forget about this. Don't give your husband a hard time it really is not worth it and will not change anything.

minipie · 14/06/2010 19:51

You could have lost £102. Instead you've lost £12. BIL has done you a favour.

lovechoc · 14/06/2010 19:51

ach you got money for them, some people give away tickets for nothing at the last minute. Could be worse - at least you got some cash for them. YABU - let it go.

Altinkum · 14/06/2010 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lovechoc · 14/06/2010 19:53

please don't embarrass yourself by phoning up for the remainder of the cash - you will just look daft.

Original poster
Eve4Walle · 14/06/2010 20:01

I'm not going to ask for the extra cash, I just wanted a whing really.

And no, Narky, I wouldn't have sold them at more than the face value because I don't believe its right to do that anyway.

OP posts:
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