to be a bit narked off by ex-H behaviour?

[ScentedLovePuff]

Ok, feel free to flame me if required, I'm geniunely seeking your opinions and if IABU then telling me so may help me to chill out a bit!

Story is, ex-H is obsessed with football (I'm not, but usually enjoy major football matches as town tends to be quiet ), the problem is, when England or his team loses, he goes into an ENORMOUS sulk that literally lasts for days and days, during which he wont speak to anyone or communicate. This was hellish during our relationship as he would go out of his way to make me feel like it was my fault that they lost.......

Now he lives back at his parents, I live alone with 1yr old DD, we usually get on fine and do things as a family for DD's sake (and partly cos I have a very low income and very high outgoings and cant afford to take her to many places by myself, he has plenty of money as he has low outgoings, and he has a car).

I haven't heard from him at all (he usually texts once or twice a day to see how his daughter is) since the England match, we were supposed to do something as a family yesterday, but no word. According to his mum (who I am on very good terms with) he was spending the day in bed...... THIS WAS FOR A DRAW!

Since the match DD has had a nasty fall (she is fine but it was touch and go as to whether I would take her to the drop-in clinic at one point), he ignored messages about this. She has also had the MMR which I was stressed to bits about, he knows about this.

We've spoken about this before (when we were in a relationship) he thinks he is being perfectly reasonable "because it is football".

Oh, and he has made it clear that when matches fall on his access days (when I'm working) he isn't available to take DD for the day......

He's your ex - he can do what he wants. You knew this about him when you were with him (bet it was one of the reasons you got rid) and you can't expect him to change now he's not got your influence.

Ignore him for the next month and try not to take it personally on behalf of your daughter. You can't help that he is a twat.

Has he got a mental health problem?

'access days' sound so flipping horrible.

I think the last bit (about access days) is AWFUL and absolutely out of line. Don't stand for that.

The rest of it should just make yu glad you're not seeing him anymore. The fact that you care this much makes me suspect you still want him back.

Try to get out more and spend less time with him, or texting him. He's not your partner anymore. Sorry.

Be as privately narked as you like by the way. Just don't show it to him - it will not make one iota of difference if it didn't when you were actually together.

And it will just stress you out.

Just enjoy her while you have her all to yourself - go to the free park or something. It's not like he was that reliable for days out anyway, right?

Thanks Laurie, did help me get some perspective, I guess I get a bit dependant on him as I am hundreds of miles away from my own family and dont have many local friends. Can't help but hurt for my daughters sake though, she isn't aware of this now but when she is older....

All you can do is let him get on with his childish behaviour.
oh, and apologise to your DD for concieving her with that twunt.
I dread to think what will happen if she gets married on an 'important' football day.
Don't worry she will see him for what he is eventually.
Doesn't his mum or dad say anything, like, hmmm, " get your sad arse of the couch and go see your DD? "
I would be thoroughly ashamed of my DC if they acted like this!

DH is pretty football obsessed - on our third date he came round to my flat at 10PM and cried because Arsenal had just lost the European championship.

However, if DD needed him he would trample the entire Arsenal first team into the ground in his rush to get to her.

The football itself is a bit of a red herring - he's a self absorbed, unrealiable tosser, and if he didn't like football he'd be unavailable because the fishing weather was good, or there was a stamp convention or something. Congratulations on getting shot of him as you and your DD deserve to be number 1 in someones life.

OTT, DD was born on an 'important' football day (well, in the early hours of the day after, after 52hrs and an emergency section). I was too exhausted and laboury to care whether he missed it, and can't remember him saying anything about it (or at least, I wouldn't have given a toss if he did!) He did suggest watching it on the hospital on demand tv.....

When I was in labour with DS, the midwife said "I don't know where your DH has got to, but he ought to get a move on back here or he'll miss it." I replied that I had a jolly good idea where he might be and was there a TV room anywhere nearby. Sure enough, there he was, along with the anaesthetist, who was rooting for Pakistan, and they were merrily debating the merits of their respective teams!

cricket I assume?

Sadly you just have to get on with it without him
your dd will realise what a loser he is when she's older
his parents must think he's a prat too

What a pathetic immature twät!

Can´t abide anyone who refers to "their" football team as "we".

And needing a day in bed FFS.

OP-thank goodness you had a daughter together!

Does he also throw his teddies out of his cot when he goes to bed in a sulk?

Ignore him

I'm afraid it seems highly likely that your dd will become a football obsessive too. Could you point out to him that the sooner he starts taking her on football days, the sooner she will become a fan too and he will have a little friend to obsess with?

I think the fact that his mum rang you to say that he was spending the day in bed (rather than her spraying him with a hose and telling him to get his arse in gear to see his daughter) says a lot about where the boundaries have been in this man's life.

Is your X 10 year old?
You are well shot of him.
You talk about him having to take you out as you are on a low income, are you getting enough maintenance from him?

He gives all he needs to (10% of salary, via CSA), says he doesnt have any more to give as he needs the rest for himself. It only comes to a little over a hundred a month, less than DD's nursery bills alone. But what does he care if we live on the cheap - he doesnt have to.