to let ds buy the game...

[biddysmama]

we have a reward system in place atm where he gets stars that get swapped for money that he buys his games with....

he chooses a game at the start then works towards that game but he hasnt been doing very well atm (hes 8 btw) so nt got enough stars to get a game.....

he took his holy communion yesterday and got enough money to buy the game ...

but i'm stuck because its the one hes supposed to be working towards but hasnt behaved well enough, but its his money

what do you think... i'm swaying towards being a softy and taking him for the game after school

I wouldn't let him get the game if he hasn't behaved well enough. If it was just about saving money then fair enough, but as the game is a reward for good behaviour then he doesn't deserve it imho. Then again,I'm a strict mummy!

Nah, first communion money is definitely there for a treat!! I remember spending mine on lego and a present for my wee sister, and my mum put whatever was left into my bank account for me. I have no idea whether I was well behaved around that time or now (tho I suspect not lol) but I'm inclined to think that first communion money is a one off so just let him get the game.

Explain to him tho that once the money is spent, that's it and he's got to earn stars before he's getting any more games.

If the point of your system is that he has to have the money and the stars, and he hasn't got the stars... then why would you let him get the game? It might sound a bit heartless but you're giving him very mixed signals, disipline-wise, if you have set up a system of rules and then ignore the rules as soon as he gets his hand on some cash.

Unless you normally dictate what he is allowed to do with any money he is given (Birthdays, Christmas etc), then it is not fair to start dictating what he does with his communion money surely? Especially is this was not stated before he got it.

He was saving money to get this game, he was earning the money by being good, now he has a windfall - why can't he buy the game?

If you were saving for a car and planned to use your bonus to pay for it, then you won some money on the lottery would you deny yourself the car until you had earned your bonus?

zero - he doesn't have to have stars & money, stars earn him money - it's not the same thing.

However, a disclaimer...

If he is not just being a bit naughty, but a proper little shit sod, then you have the right to deny him anything and this includes spending his communion money until he is better behaved!!

I don't think you should have a sticker and money reward system for decent behaviour.