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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish that my friends would just get proper jobs instead of these selling parties..

104 replies

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 13/06/2010 21:44

...the Jamie at Home/jewellery they've made/aloe vera stuff/Candlelight or whatever it's called type thing?

I am sick to the back teeth (OK, this is PMT talking!) of going along under duress, trying to be a dutiful, helpful friend, only to find myself parting with £20 or whatever is the cheapest thing in the catalogue for overpriced utter crap? I know I don't have to go, I know I don't have to buy anything, and from now on I have decided I'm going to be busy when they decide to throw any more parties - no more £14 for 2 glass oil pourers from Jamie the Twat for me when I can buy the same thing from Asda at £4.

My point is - why does anyone do them? Isn't it the height of cheek to even think of working when your job basically involves going to your friends, appealing to their better nature (and possible guilt) and asking them to pay your salary?

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityhat · 13/06/2010 23:12

Yanbu. The only person who has invited me to anything like this (two in a month, count em) is someone I couldn't stand anyway. Had no problem declining her invites. But I would never ever go to one of these evenings. Never.

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 14/06/2010 00:51

Zapostrophe, you are wrong, you can never have too much aloe vera in your life!

CristinaTheAstonishing · 14/06/2010 00:57

I went to a couple of card & wrappin paper ones. I thought they were quite good quality, although a bit 'samey'. I haven't been invited to one since we moved over a year ago. Must be a local demographic thing.

secunda · 14/06/2010 01:00

hahahaha YANBU sounds fucking tedious

mrsincommunicado · 14/06/2010 01:04

Mmmm Mary Kay Make-up, you can see why they are all rushing out to buy it can't you?

SolidGoldBrass · 14/06/2010 01:25

The main thing with this kind of job is that it's something you can fit round having small DC, that;s why a lot of mums do it. I do Avon myself, though I don't bug my friends to buy, just occasionally chuck them a brochure.

Willabywallaby · 14/06/2010 01:42

I went to a Jamie one recently and my friend the host had spent loads of time on the nibbles at the last pampered chef I went to at least they cooked something. The Jamie stuff is way overpriced, but I got quite a good roasting tin I needed.

But YANBU the party person did nothing, just showed a DVD.

thisismyclone · 14/06/2010 05:04

That Mary Kay looks doped up to her eyeballs...

..which incidently is how I would want to be if attending such a 'party'.

YANBU

KERALA1 · 14/06/2010 07:20

Agree with SGB. Too many and crappy products would be annoying but went to a clothes one recently and bought a really nice dress which I would have bought in the high street anyway. Instead of being in a hot shop changing room with two toddlers (I have no childcare) I was at my friends house with a glass of wine. So it can be a win win - I got something I was looking to buy anyway and she got some profit. I also got abit of a warm feeling as I know money is tight for her.

moondog · 14/06/2010 07:37

Nice one Jack.
Mary Kay is hilarious.
Have we all been whisked back to 1979?
I got drunker than I have in years (albeit inadvertently) at Virgin Vie party.

It was due I think to mindfuck elicited by realising some peopel sit in other people's overheated living rooms of an evening, leaf through brochures and choose cushions.

That and the bright yellow horridly alcoholic Aussie wine.

Chandon · 14/06/2010 07:47

I hate them, but have been to a few when I was new in the village and a bit lonely (pathetic, isn´t it?!)

The last one I went to was a USBorne books one, I don´t like those books but spent 25 anyway, host seemed disappointed with such a small order. Wish I hadn´t bothered at all!

Original poster
Maisiethemorningsidecat · 14/06/2010 08:13

Very pleased I'm not alone in hating the things - from now on I'm going to put my foot down with a firm hand and not go. I'll sit at home with my own cheap wine and nibbles, and watch something good on telly instead, with the 20 quid still firmly in my pocket. Blinking cheek, asking your friends and relatives to pay your wages.

OP posts:
NetworkGuy · 14/06/2010 08:22

I suppose you could "um and ah" and say, well, you planned to have an Ann Summers party that night, but if she'll buy some of the items to 'get them off your hands' then she has a deal.

I'm sure that you could have a bit of fun choosing items off the (downloadable) Ann Summers catalogue even if you never buy anything, just to find some items (like the Beer Wench or French Maid outfits - each 40 quid) that are innocent enough but perhaps a touch overpriced, and will give the friends reasons for you not to come.

If you know there would be shock value (but would most likely get a nervous laugh rather than break your friendships) you could suggest the "peephole bra and crotchless G-string set" (under £25) plus one of the exclusive Ann Summers Rampant Rabbits (at only £40)

Of course, if she doesn't want the bra and G-string, there's a butt plug, love cuffs and spanking toy which cost a bit more but will give hours of fun - oh, don't forget lots of lube before trying the butt plug. I bet Ann Summers charges plenty for lube, too!

bumpsoon · 14/06/2010 08:33

forget the ann summers lube ,tell her should use the lovely chilli oil that jamie the twat sells !!

cory · 14/06/2010 08:36

The best way to annoy one of these "holidaying for charity" people is to go "Oh yes, you have totally convinced me of the need to do something, but the sum you asked me for seemed so inadequate, so I just sent off a cheque for £X to this charity which do wonderful work for ". Because that is so not what they want.

Have to admit the Avon ladies round here annoy me. If I stick a note on my door saying "no unsolicited papers" I do not like being berated by these people because I have lost the catalogue they showed through my door last Thursday. I have not volunteered to be their catalogue keeper.

GeekOfTheWeek · 14/06/2010 09:30

I really like my Avon girl and always try to order a bit from her.

Went to a virgin vie party sat. Quite resented paying those prices for a brand I don't normally use.

pigletmania · 14/06/2010 09:32

I just say I am busy and do not go, well I am!

NonnoMum · 14/06/2010 09:37

SOOOO happy someone other than me started this thread!

Next time think I'm going to answer, "Sorry - can't make it. I've found going into a SHOP and buying things that I can take home there and then is a brilliant way of acquiring shit the consumables of modern life."

twolittlemonkeys · 14/06/2010 09:37

YANBU, but in some situations it's the only job you can get that brings in that extra money. I did Body Shop at Home for a while. If I'd gone back to my poorly paid day job and paid childcare (even with vouchers etc) I'd have been worse off so I chose to do the parties in evenings when DH could look after DS1. There's no obligation to buy.

I've been to a couple of other ones - Ann Summers, Virgin Vie etc and quite enjoyed them! If you don't want to spend over £10 just take cash. A lot of people do see them as an excuse for a get together, and if people buy stuff so the hostess can get her free gift, so much the better.

Original poster
Maisiethemorningsidecat · 14/06/2010 19:42

Ah, the lone voice defending the purveyors of overpriced shit aspirational products!

There is something rather distasteful about a job that basically involves inviting your friends and relatives round to your house, and basically holding out your hand to them for money. Perhaps there is no 'obligation' to buy, but you do feel duty bound to a certain extent - the comapanies know this, and the hosts know this, which is why these things exist.

If you want to have a get together, just do the radical thing and invite some friends round - without any selling or guilt involved at all.

OP posts:
SalFresco · 14/06/2010 19:52

The idea is that you only start with your friends, and then their friends book parties, and then their guests book parties and so on, so friends are just the starting point to build a customer base. In theory anyway!

I quite often go to these if invited, and rarely buy; I just see it as a social thing. So, YABU - no-one is making you buy, or indeed, attend

lamplighter · 14/06/2010 20:11

I have hosted one for a friend - never again. I ended up spending quite a bit of drink and food and rounded up other victims friends to come along. Quite a few people turned up, some from 20 miles or so away and ordered quite a few products.

These were then delivered to MY house and my friend expected ME to do all the deliveries for her!

tootootired · 14/06/2010 20:20

I would give them £5 to be spared going. Only exception is Phoenix cards, they are actually cheap and useable. I HATE attempts to recruit me, I can barely sell a raffle ticket. And the "free hostess gift" - OK: 10 people buy something for £10 that costs £3 in Tesco, a total waste of £70, so the hostess can then get her own £10-worth £3 thing .

PeachesandStrawberry · 14/06/2010 20:21

YABU

It wouldn't help to have an open mind.

You don't have to buy if you don't want, but be more supportive.

Sal321 · 14/06/2010 20:49

I agree completely with tootootired. I would happily pay a tenner to the seller to get out of going and they would probably be better off from this too. Though I imagine that offering to not invite you to a sales party in return for a tenner would look like extracting money with menaces .