to leave a bowl of chilli con carne on the kitchen table since Thursday

[extension]

DH and I had an argument on Thursday which started out as something quite trivial but escalated into something quite ridiculous.

I was cooking at the time and when I put the food on the table he refused to come and eat with me and the dc. I left his meal on the table but he ignored it. Later in the evening he cooked himself something else. I left the chilli con carne in a bowl on the kitchen table and told him to dispose of it if he wasnt going to eat it, he has refused.

I know its childish of me but I have left it there. I have never done anything like this before and I thought he would realise how pathetic he is being and move it. But, he sulks for days after an argument and completely blanks me until he has had time to reflect and calm down. So I am not expecting him to resume normality for a couple more days yet (I know, I know, its pathetic and I shouldnt put up with it but Ive learned over time that the best way to deal with him is to just ignore him until he decides he has been childish for long enough).

Anyway, I have just spoken to him to ask him again to dispose of the chilli (it has now gone black and crusty, yuk!) but he is refusing. Should I just leave it or get rid of it, I know its childish I feel like he is getting his own pathetic way again if I get rid of it for him. It will bug me before it bugs him.

leave it as an experiment for your ds to see what changes happen to the food over the next week in the heat and tell him what it was like back in the 1950's without fridges.

You have come this far why not go further

I would leave it

Stick it in his underwear drawer. If he doesn't want his knickers smelling of chilli he'll have to sort it.

tip it over his head

I would leave it too. How childish of him.

Does he have his own car? i would put it in his boot or in his work bag. Last week i got sick of all dh's cups lying about in the bedroom so along with some dirty clothes i put some in his work laptop bag and some more in his gym kit which he discovered when he got there .

Leave it.

Tell the DC you are using it to grow penicillin and if you are really lucky you might be able to grow Daddy a more mature attitude.

He sounds like a real bargain.

What an example to the kids though! Don't they ask why it's still there? It must be awful to live in a house with such an atmosphere. Do they have to stay out of his way for a few days too?

YANBU. He is a nob! Have to say, I probably would have caved by now, though. Does he have any redeeming features at all?

((Hijack. Hi Bree, how are you keeping?)

Does it smell?

You are both as bad as each other tbh.

Further hijack....

Not too bad thanks, my father is still alive but I am not sure how much longer for. We are not on death watch but he has faded fast in the last 12 weeks.

He has lived for 20 months, with secondaries. He is a stubborn fecker.

Thank you for asking, I thought about you last week and that email you sent me about the spooky thing on the road all those months ago.

Take care

Bree

If my OH did not recognise the contribution I made by providing food for the family by firstly refusing to eat it and secondly refusing to dispose of it, then he would have no food, not even a measly piece of toast or a glass of water, from me, until he had done so.

I am nobody's mug. Please tell me you have not cooked for him since.

Hes fine with the kids, they havent really noticed anything, plus, he was at work this morn and then took a relative to the airport this afternoon so they havent seen much of him today. We had pizza for tea in front of the telly last night and have bbqd tonight so they hadnt noticed the bowl still there.

But, I have now moved it, it was bugging me too much, Ive told him that he's won and that I think hes being childish, but he wont get into any conversation at all. Soooo stubborn. And yes chipmonkey, he is a nob!

You are both being a bit pathetic.

Sloaney, I bloody well havent cooked for him since.

I think the sulking would push me over the edge. He could just fuck off until he grows up.

I couldn't stand that kind of sulking.......so childish!!

I couldn't cope with that type of sulking. How long does he take to calm down after an argument normally? What is likely to happen if you DONT clear the bowl away? Will he do it?

leave it, it's his dinner why should you sort it out?

Mutt, I know what your saying about the kids noticing and maybe your right. But, I disagree with what you said about basing their future relationships on. My parents could go for weeks without speaking because my mum was a sulker and I absolutely hate it. Am totally the opposite, it drives me mad, have an argument and move on!

what's happened re. the chilli?

But surely you've just done exactly what your parents used to do to you albeit for a shorter time?

Your h sounds like an immature brat I'm afraid.

I think you should have carried on serving it to him at each mealtime, varying only to take account of the appropriate meal. For breakfast I would have served it in a cereal bowl with a jug of milk beside it, then for lunch perhaps on a plate on a bed of rice, maybe accessorised with a nice fresh sprig of parsley and some garlic bread ..... you get the picture.