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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go out for the day on Fathers Day and leave my hubby to it???

17 replies

XboxWidow30 · 12/06/2010 09:59

I have chosen the 20th of June to go out for the day. The first full day that my husband will have looked after all 4 children on his own.

AIBU to choose this day? He hasn't realised its Fathers Day and he has said yes.

So, what do you think?. Really I will be honest and am just getting him back for going out all day on my birthday a few weeks ago to go and watch golf for the day. He was gone 8.30am until 6pm.

Plus, I need a day off before I get driven round the twist by the 4 little terrors!

OP posts:
Buddleja · 12/06/2010 10:07

YANBU

It's fathers day a day for him to be a father

I'm fully intending pissing off for the day too seeing how he behaved on mothers day

Nothing wrong with nonphysical harming revenge

Northernlurker · 12/06/2010 10:24

I think you need to prepare yourself for a shit mothers day next year if you carry on with this. He may not have realised its Fathers Day yet but he will and he will know you don't give a damn. That's not very healthy imo.
Re your birthday - did you say that made you unhappy or did you just sulk quietly?

seeyoukay · 12/06/2010 10:46

Yep, this is how divorce starts.

ben5 · 12/06/2010 10:49

tell him that in australia fathers day is in september and you'll do fathers day then! enjoy your day out!

mayorquimby · 12/06/2010 10:53

so if it's revenge and he doesn't care then he has a perfect justification to do the same on mothers day. which you will then get pissed off about again and look for revenge etc. and on and on

Teddyisonhisway · 12/06/2010 12:54

Maybe we just do things weirdly in my house but Father's/Mother's Day is waking up to breakfast in bed and a home-made card, some flowers and a necklace made of penne pasta or something, and THAT'S IT, nothing else. Birthdays are a day-long celebration and spoil-fest, very different. I would be PO-ed if my DP played golf all day on my birthday, but Mother's Day just gone he went out, I didn't have a problem with that, after you've had your prezzie in the morning it's just a regular day. But maybe that's just me. I don't see what's so bad about leaving him in charge of the kids for the day, maybe I'm missing something..? Like Buddleja said, it is Father's day and he'll be doing some fathering. Do you not do any mothering on Mother's Day, 'course you do! I hope he was very repentant after your birthday..?
BTW, I hope I don't sound rude, I genuinely don't see what the problem would be. Enjoy your day out!

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 12/06/2010 12:58

As long as he doesn't mind YANBU.

I am doing the London to Brighton Bike Ride on Father's Day, DH is having the ds's. I did ask though and he was quite happy for me to do it.

We never make a big deal out of these days anyway.

Original poster
XboxWidow30 · 12/06/2010 16:03

Hi,

Sorry posted this earlier and then didn't come back!

He knew how I felt on my birthday but went to the golf anyway.

He has now realised its Fathers Day and is, at the moment, still happy to have them.

I agree with 'teddyisonhisway' Mothers/Fathers Day is a card and present in the morning and then business as usual, however business as usual in our house is me always doing everything. Thats where his day will be different!

Also, yes it is a bit of revenge but I do think that birthdays are slightly different to others/Fathers Day. My next Mothers Day won't be different as he will learn from being left alone not to do it again!!!

OP posts:
pagwatch · 12/06/2010 16:09

No. This is weird for me on many levels
How did your Dh get to exist this long without ever having had the children for a day?
DH has had the children on his own regularly since the first one was born. He is their dad. He does it often, just as I do so that he can go out
And why are you engaging by point scoring rather than sorting it out?

Is it me? Am I being weird?

diamondsandtiaras · 12/06/2010 16:12

as it's fathers day how else should he spend the day but with his children? Point out that youi are doinghim a favour by allowing him some quality time with his little darlings

Meglet · 12/06/2010 16:15

how has he not had them all day for so many years ?

Original poster
XboxWidow30 · 12/06/2010 16:19

He has had them before but the first time he would have had all four of them since our fourth was born, however that was still 7 months ago!

Not trying to point score, merely point out the fact that its not nice being left with the children all day, especially on a day that is special to you and should be shared with your other half too, if that makes sense??

I also think its about time he see's what I have to do all the time as he doesn't help out often enough.

OP posts:
honeymom · 12/06/2010 16:31

Go for it Enjoy the day, and Have a great time will be a good bonding experience for the, my dp is the same somehow a special day to me means nothing to him, i'm planning on doing sweet fa for my dp this fathers day as on mothers day he got the kids to give me a present of a bottle of wine and then told me I owed him X amount as I wasn't his mother so why should he pay for it..

Original poster
XboxWidow30 · 12/06/2010 16:40

honeymom, what a cheeky wotsit!

I am going to enjoy it. Gonna go into London for some window shopping methinks.

Hopefully it will make him sit up and realise what it is like.

OP posts:
Angelcat666 · 12/06/2010 16:55

OP YANBU What better day than Father's day for him to bond with his children.

honeymoon I hope you told him that it was the children who owed him the money and not you.

Tenalady · 12/06/2010 16:56

Errm, good luck

honeymom · 12/06/2010 18:02

Yeah i would have but they are little it did ensue in a huge row lol so i'm hoping for a better day next year but hey we'll see,

Some men just don't get It think.

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