Posted about this situation briefly last week.
A friend who I have known for around half my life has been having an online emotional affair with a girl who is twenty years younger than him. He is married and has a two yo son, but he has told her that he is divorced. He also claimed that he was going to the states to meet up with her then concocted a story that he had not been granted a visa (he lives in South Africa so would have had to apply for one) in order to not be able to go.
I suspected that he had never got divorced because I had mentioned how sad it was to a mutual rl friend and she had no idea. But he told me at the time that he was ashamed of how his marriage had ended and that he wasn't ready to tell people yet.
Anyway last week his lies unravelled when I was suggested as a friend on facebook through a mutual friend. I already had him on fb, but with him in a relationship with this girl and with several other online friends (we do know each other in rl bu as i visit the same website he does and was aware of the relationship he had added me to this other facebook account. So it turns out he has two accounts, one with his online friends, with his relationship showing as being in a relationship with this girl who lives in the US, and the other with his rl friends and family, with his relationship showing as being married to his rl wife.
So I confronted him, and basically said "you've never been divorced at all have you? you've been lying to this girl, and everyone else you've befriended online all along, and have been lying to your dw by having secret chats with this girl on skype and msn and fb (he owns a recording studio so it was easy enough to do in a sound-proof room)."
At first he became very angry and accused me of snooping on his life, which actually I wasn't, it was by pure coincidence that his name had come up as a friend suggestion.
Eventually he apologised, and told me that his dw had actually found out about the affair and that he was trying to fix his marriage. That the girl had ended the affair anywhay recently, although had recently approached him to get back together but he was ignoring her communications and would, eventually, block her out of his life.
He then went on to say how much he hated himself yada yada. He also admitted that this girl had had no idea he was married.
So fast-forward to this week, when a mutual online aquaintence mentioned to me that friend and this girl had broken up but were now back together. Now, he's deleted me from his online fb account, but it wasn't hard to find and her's was easier to find and has no privacy settings at all. And on there she's in a relationship with him and her wall is full of posts about how happy they are and how they're planning their future together, while on his rl fb (which I am now a friend on) is full of how he's going to be spending time with his family this weekend. For the record - I only looked at this girl's fb once.
I have lost any respect I have for him, and tbh I can't see how I can continue a friendship with him.
But I A don't want to lie to mutual rl friends about him, and refuse to do so any longer, and B think this naive girl deserves to know just who she's planning her future with.
Am not going to lie to my rl friends about this, one of them already knows about the other girl and knows of my suspicions, so if she asks I will tell her what I know.
But am tempted to send this online girl a message on fb and to tell her just what she's involved with, and to give her a link to his rl fb page to prove it.
And to then walk away from the lot of them.