to change DSs routine to suit nursery?

[griffaloschild]

DS is having a bit of trouble settling in at nursery (difficult to ascertain from the staff how much trouble - they say he is not distressed but cries a few times during the day). When he started I explained that he has a sleep mid morning (max 2 hours). They nodded politely and said they would try this but their routine was for the babies to sleep after lunch. To cut a long story short he goes two days per week and usually comes home tired and grumpy.

There seems to be mixed messages about how he adapting (DH swears they tell him he is fine all day and doesn't cry, they tell me he has been crying!). One of the staff suggested that we change his days to two consecutive days (at the moment he goes Tues and Fri and was designed to give him a break at home with me between the two sessions). They feel he will settle better if the days are consecutive.

So my questions are, firstly, should I consider trying to change his sleep routine to fit in with the nursery routine; and secondly, do you think two consecutive days will help him settle?

would really appreciate your advice
x

how old is he?

13 months

Yes a sleep after lunch would be better I think.

I think at that age, it is easier if all of them sleep at the same time as they can be hard to settle when the others are still playing. Consecutive days are much easier to settle too, as a gap means that they have to get into it twice a week, rather than just once.

he is still very little to only have one sleep a day. I am pretty sure dd was still having a mini sleep mid morning at that stage, although she grew out of it not long after

could he have some quiet time instead with one person, cuddles or book or something?

I think its a bit mean to deny babies sleep when they need it, even if it doesnt suit the nursery routine

EYFS states that rest and sleep are as important as nutrition

what suits nursery is not acknowldeging the uniqueness of the child

So no YANBU

he might be better with a CM who with smaller numbers can accomodate his individual needs ?

Consecutive days ARE better for the child

Our nursery asked his nap routine when he started, so it seems unfair they're asking you to adapt to them instead. And at 13 months DS was definitely still having more than one nap a day - generally one morning and one afternoon. He did drop down to one a day at nursery before dropping to one a day at home though.

I am surprised by this as I was very worried about DD not really having a routine when she went to nursery, however, they asked me to keep a record of what she did when and they would stick to it, which they did even though she was very unconventional.
I have to say though she did drop to one sleep a day at 10 months and no sleeps at 2 years old despite poor nursery nurses pounding the streets with her in a pushchair to encourage her to sleep when she wouldn't sleep in a cot. So I'm not surprised that your little one only has one sleep a day.

If you want to set your own childs routines fully you need to keep them at home. In a nursery there are other children to consider as well, its not all about yours.
YABU to not work with the carers instead of against them.

no I disagree

every child has a right to sleep and rest, according to their needs

they do at home. They do not in nursery, unless you want to pay for a 1:1 ratio.

One reason I no longer work in childcare...ridiculous expectations of parents.

DD had 2 naps a day when she started at nursery (11.5 months) and the girls were very careful to put her down at the usual times (even when this meant she slept through their normal lunchtime), but after a few months she seemed to decide for herself that she'd stay awake when the other children were having fun and sleep with the rest after lunch. If he's getting tired and grumpy on the days without enough sleep that's a sign his key person needs to make sure he naps when he needs to.

He has only had one nap for sometime now. He has always had the morning nap but it became increasingly difficult to put him down in the afternoon. He sleeps very well at night and this routine seems to work very well at home and when is grandparents look after him. The problem is that he is quite an active baby and will only sleep when he is very tired (which usually means that he needs to be up at least 3 hours between sleeps). I suspect - to be fair to the nursery - that they are letting him sleep at his usual time (e.g. 10.30) but he is walking up too soon because either it is too noisy and light or they are waking him to fulfil another part of the routine. Then the problem is that an hour later when they want everyone to go to sleep is not not tired enough.

Thanks for the advice about the consecutive days will defo go about changing it.

meh

BoysAreLikeDogs - No need to be rude.

How long has your DS been going to nursery? After a few months I found that, naturally, my DS fell into a routine (he started on 3 days when he was 10 months and is now full time at 2 yr as I work ft) that worked well with nursery and home and it was a good month before he stopped howling when I dropped him off/ picked him up so you might find that your DS does the same and he just needs a little more time to adapt. It is difficult not to think that the nursery staff are doing things a particular way just to suit themselves but if you keep on explaining things to them and asking questions, hopefully they will get to understand your DS better and also you will feel more comfortable too. I do think that consecutive days work better though.

My DS is 17mo and still has an hour and a half in the morning an an hour and a half in the afternoon. At 13mo there is no way he would have gone through the morning, or if he had been forced to he would not be very happy and the day would be ruined. I'm suprised the nursery aren't more co-operative with you, maybe you should be firm with them and say he must have a sleep in the morning. I don't think it's fair to have to change his routine before he's ready just because it suits the nursery better.

What is rude about saying meh to someone who thinks that a nursery should not acknowledge a child's individual needs please?

Blimey. You're seriously suggesting that a 13 month old doesn't have 'a right to sleep and rest according to its needs' runnybottom?! Fine to refuse a parent requesting a precise 13 minute nap every 2.682 hours, but 2 naps a day for a 13 month old is hardly a 'ridiculous expectation'. Our (wonderful) nursery goes out of its way to fit in with the babies' home routine. Any nursery that doesn't, with children of that age, should ask itself why not IMO; I'm in agreement that any childcare worker who thinks otherwise probably should indeed think of another more suitable career choice.

'One reason I no longer work in childcare...ridiculous expectations of parents'

Well if you call that a ridiculous expectation I'm relived to know you don't work in childcare anymore.

I think it probably would be easier to switch his routine for an afternoon sleep. BALD is right that the nursery should accomodate his routine (and I'm sure they will if you want him to continue sleeping in the morning), but it may be easier on your DS to sleep when the others do.

Firstly, because it will probably be noisy if he's trying to sleep while everyone else is awake and active.

Secondly, it might be difficult for him to be awake after lunch when all the others are asleep - staff will be coming and going on their lunch breaks, staff he's less familiar with may be covering his room, there won't be other children to entertain him and adults may be distracted trying to clear up and set up for the afternoon, catch up on paperwork etc at that time.

i must say I do prefer a more flex CM environment for one this little, hence why I asked his age. I tend to think that he is still a baby and changing his routine is bloody hard.

however I know that DS would happily take his nap a bit earlier wheh he was at the CM

do you have to use this nursery? as if yes , you might be better of doing 2 consecutive days and for the sake of an easier life, trying to adapt

sigh, its not easy....