I had a falling out with my best friend a couple of weeks ago, and although we have since made up, I am still feeling a bit resentful of how she behaved, and would like opinions as to whether I have cause to be.
The falling out occurred when we were away on a camping trip. It was just me and my boyfriend, and her. She was really upset (understandably) the whole weekend, as a couple of weeks before that she had been treated really badly by a guy she had been seeing.
My boyfriend and I tried our best to help her with this, but were not really sure that weekend whether she wanted space to be with her thoughts, or wanted distracting from them. She was in and out of a bad mood and really distracted the whole weekend.
The falling out occurred on the morning of the last day, and ended up with her storming off in a temper and driving home early. She claims that my boyfriend upset her by asking her what she was going to cook him for breakfast that morning. She said that she was upset because she was not there to cater for him and that she did not like being spoken to in that way.
He says that those were not the words that he used, but it was more like "come on, what's for breakfast?", because she was just sitting outside her tent and making no steps to get the cooking equipment out. (We had brought the food and she brought the equipment). We had also agreed the day before to try to make an early start so that we could do somethings before traveling home later that day.
I went to ask her what was wrong, and she said that it was that "knob of your boyfriend and the way that he speaks to me". I said that I thought she was being unfair, and she replied that I should fuck off because I was obviously living in lala land if I thought it was ok for him to speak to people like that.
I was upset, and thought that this was unfair, not least because my boyfriend does not have any expectation that people are there to wait on him. In fact, not only had he done his share of the cooking the day before, but had done all the washing up for the whole of that weekend.
I have since spoken to my friend, and although she has apologised for steaming off, she has not retracted her comments about my boyfriend. Instead she has said that he often has a bad way of talking to people. I asked her for examples and the only two that she was able to raise were, firstly, on that weekend that he had snapped at her when he was driving. Admittedly, this has some truth, but it only happened because she was supposed to be giving directions, but on about half a dozen occasions left it until we were right at the turning before giving the direction. Or when we were at a cross roads, just saying "this turning".
The second example she gave was at her birthday party. My boyfriend is not much of a clubbing person, and sometimes really does not enjoy being in a club. Sometimes, he will go home early, but sometimes, if we have a way to travel to get home, he will just sit in the corner and wait for me to want to leave, so that I do not have to travel back on my own. On this occasion he was doing the latter, and a couple of my friend's friends tried going over to him and jollying him into getting up and dancing. He did later admit that he was not in a good mood at that point so just brushed them off rather brusquely.
I am sorry for the long post on this, and thanks for reading so far, but this is really bothering me. I think that it is such an issue for me because I was previously in an abusive relationship, in which I ignored a lot of my own concerns and concerns that people had raised to me about my ex's behaviour. There is nothing in my current relationship that makes me suspect at all that my boyfriend has any abusive traits, which is why it upsets me that my friend is insisting basically that he has an unpleasant streak, above and beyond normal personality quirks.
What do you think