To be considering taking my DS out of nursery?

[TheChicOfIt]

DS is almost 23 months and has been going to nursery on a Friday since February (19 months).

For the first couple of sessions he was absolutely fine, but then he started getting really upset when I dropped him off in the morning - clinging on to me, crying his eyes out, trying to get out the door etc.

Apparently he is always fine after about 5 minutes, and is fine throughout the day. Anyway, last week they said he had been a bit upset in the day, and then this week they rang me at 9.40am to say that he was very, very unsettled. By the time I got there at 10.30am he was still crying and she said he had been like that since I had left .

As soon as I gave him a cuddle he was fine - we got outside and he started babbling away like normal.

He does have a bad cough at the moment, but he seems fine at home and it only bothers him at night.

I just feel really guilty as I am a SAHM and we only send him for his own development as we thought it would be good for him to mix with other children, etc. However there has been all this conflicting evidence over whether pre school education is good for this age group or not so I just don't know what to do.

I just feel like he has had a long time to settle in and he is still getting upset when I drop him off 4 months down the line.

I'm just a bit confused about what the right thing is to do.

We sent dd for two sessions when she was just over 2. She absolutely hated it - screaming, hysterics (and she is normally a calm child). Drop off was like a war film with her clinging to my legs etc. I perservered with it - everyone I know is so pro nursery its the norm and the "right" thing to do,gets them to socialise etc. Utter bollocks in my opinion. For us it was really wrong and I really regret not taking her out sooner. After I binned it we had a lovely 6 months just at home. When she turned 3 she started at a little pre school around the corner and loves it she has not cried once, not once.

Don't perservere if it doesnt feel right. I really regret listening to other people and not following my instincts and removing her sooner.

I would split the day up into two mornings or afternoons, It would be less time for him to be away from you and he is likely to settle better.

I think that nursery does help them to get social skills with other kids, so it's worth persevering as long as he's not getting too upset.

I don't think we would be able to stretch to two half days - it is £28 for a half day so that would work out at £224 a month instead of £160 which is what we pay now.

Am I correct in thinking that they can start pre school at 2.5?

I've been applying for him to do 5 mornings when he is 3, but I think they can do 2 sessions at 2.5?

At DS's nursery they have a baby room till 2, then a toddler/preschool bit from then on, which offers shorter sessions.

DS settled into the baby bit well (if slowly) then his favourite person left and he was really unhappy for a while, but I had to work. He did a day and a half a week.

Once he moved up to the toddler bit and could do a 3 hour session (which they offer because of the grant stuff) he started to settle again, and has just started walking away from me when I drop him off (he used to cry until I was out of sight!).

The shorter sessions seem to suit him much better - which is good because I am not working at the moment (due with DC2 today!) and would feel really guilty sending him when he wasn't unhappy and he didn't have to go, but the time with the baby will be very helpful!

I would pull your DS out and find somewhere that you can do more, shorter sessions that you can afford.

Happy due date Chairmum!
Hope little bambino doesn't take too long to appear .

TheChicofit

I'd echo others and say consider a childminder.

IMO it's a much gentler introduction to being away from Mum, with a small number of kids to socialise with .

They also usually charge by the hour, so a half days may not be as much as you are paying for a half day at nursery.

If you are interested in taking him to local playgroups instead try childrens centres There are several near us, all have loads of activities for under 5s. And they're either very cheap or free, so well worth looking at.

I left DS screaming at nursery this morning too by the way. It was so awful that the nursery manager found me weeping at he bottom of the stairs . I blame the pregnancy hormones but was still v embarassing. Anyway, he's having a hard time adjusting to moving in the the 2yr plus room. It's a familiar place but he's still finding the change difficult. It's just awful leaving them so upset- if I had a choice (ie didn't work) I would consider not leaving him there so, no, YANBU to want to take him out of nursery.

Like everyone has said, there's no rush to get him to socialise and plenty of cheaper ways of acheiving this anyway.