...to not want to commit to dates for meet-ups/'playdates' in the summer holidays months in advance?

[NorbertDentressangle]

The Mum of one of the DCs friends is trying to arrange dates for us to meet up over the summer hols -its 6-7 weeks away!

Neither of us work (me or the other Mum) so its not as though free days are limited. We're not talking 'big days out' either, just park/picnic/playing at home type things.

I tend to just play things by ear eg. if it looks like its going to be sunny the next day then plan a picnic, or if we haven't got much going on in the following week then plan stuff then...

Is it me that's odd by not wanting to book things 2 months beforehand? ?Do you plan things that far in advance?

If its something lots of people are coming to, then its normally arranged about a month ahead to see who's on hols etc.

If its one or two friends, a casual chat around now for summer hols about when people are away, then firm up a week or so before school breaks up if you don't know them that well, or later during school hols if you do.

Some people are very busy, I have a friend who I see with her DC every couple of months, and the two of us every month,we normally book up the next few meet ups in advance so its in the diary.

Some people are very organised, and some are very spontaneous. I think its a bit judgemental to put values on which is "better".

I don't like tying myself to things that far in advance really, but if the children get on particularly well, and I know we've got nothing on that week, then I'd think, why not? The summer hols seem much longer to children and by then they'd probably be really excited to meet up.

On a similar(ish) note, DD's pre-school do this thing in the summer holidays where they give out a list of local parks to the parents who want it, and they meet at a different one at the same time once a week during the holidays. If you make it you make it, if you don't you don't, but the opportunity is there for the children to get together and keep contact during the summer. For some it makes the return to school less daunting too.

Just thought I'd throw that out there as I thought it was a really nice idea.

moomin -our school does that anyway and we sometimes go along if we want something to do that day .

Its nice that you don't have to commit to it every week

I'm a big planner (control freak if you will) but I wouldn't try to pin someone down that far in advance for something like that, and I can see why you would find it off-putting.

Though with the holidays I find it has changed a lot as my children have got older - with a 5yo and a 1yo I was desperate to have things planned, but now at 7 and 3 I'm just going to take it as it comes (though I am sounding people out just to get a vague idea of who's around when).

I ithink she's a bit odd/anxious possibly. Some people are like this. Though....how old are the children? Lots of the older ones around here seem to be going away for weeks at time, and for the very younger ones some of the mums are already going white around the gills at the thought of all the toddler groups closing.

I've used to feel frightened by all our locol toddler stuff shutting down diamondsandtiaras, less so now and do a mix of portofino's plan every week and the laid back approach.

i have 2 or 3 days a week sorted (quick trips to grandparents, to norfolk, to wales) and the rest of the time empty. ds1 loves structure so i have to be able to repeat plans to him, he doesn't enjoy winging it so much. He likes to know where he stands.

I'm currently sussing out which families are around roughly when and will probablly text them the week before we fancy seeing if they can play.

I have to admit that I am a planner - and I like to arrange things well in advance, but even I admit that 7 weeks is way too early and even I haven't organised my summer hols yet!

That said, I do usually organise things well in advance because all my friends are so fragmented and so busy! None of my friends are friends with each other, so I need to negotiate around with them and their friends and this can take several weeks, otherwise meet ups never happen! Its particularly bad with my university friends as we meet every half term, but we're all so busy, that unless we organise it months in advance it never happens.

So I kind of see her point, but even my super organised self, hasn't started this early.

...wants to see Mollie's spreadsheet...

Maybe it's not all planned in detail, but I work full time so I have to make sure the week days at least are covered. The rest of the time we will probably chill in the garden (weather permitting) whilst dd plays with the girls next door....

So I have:

July 1 - 9 - Holiday Club run by LEA
July 10 - August 1 - away on holidays (all of us)
Aug 2 - Aug 13 - Holiday Club
Aug 14 - 20th - "Ratatouille" Cooking Class by the seaside (dd on her own).
Aug 20 - 22 - Camping with Friends near to Calais (all of us)
Aug 23 - 27 - Swimming Lessons/Mini Sports (Holiday Club closed the last week of the school hols)
Aug 28 - 31st We have a few more days off to chill and get everything ready for school on Sept 1.

There will probably be a few playdates thrown in but the holiday club usually includes swimming and a trip out to local attraction each week, so I think dd will be happy to stay home and do nothing the rest of the time.

I have every single day planned during the holidays for my DS: summer camps, grandparents and one week holiday with me. We both work full time, so we have no choice.

I used to plan every day when mine were much smaller as the long days with nothing to do filled me with horror. Now mine are older and can play with each other we are quite happy just chilling at home or having days out on our own. I think now they can talk they are easier to be around all day with out any other adult company where as when they were very little I needed someone to chat to during the day or I would go insane

Not so much a spreadsheet more an outlook calendar! Although every weekday is accounted for and most weekends .

One of our 'things' is that every Wed of the summerhols, between 1pm & 3pm that we can meet up in the park.

None of us can do this every Wednesday, but the fact that we put out a circular means that some do and some don't. I think this is a good way of keeping in touch with parents.

SamsontheCat -and there was me going to suggest that we meet in the park in town on April 26th 2012

Sorry Norbert I'm not free that day, I'm already booked up with a playdate.

I don't like to plan out the summer holidays, unless it's a 'big day out' somewhere.

Can't you just be vague and say 'we might be going away, not sure about dates yet, let's talk nearer the time'?

I like to have some things planned in advance to look forward to.

Spur-of-the moment invitations are fun but they can involve a lot of sudden last minute things, such as dashing to the shops for picnic food/suncream/present for hosts/cash to pay bus fares.

On balance I prefer to be able to plan more calmly in advance as it is less tiring!