I've had enough. Can I just walk out now, please?

[JoannaLewis]

I don't see any end to this drudgery. I'm not depressed, quite the opposite. Full of life which seems to be the main problem. I can't get a moment to myself and have become a slave in my own home! Can I just book myself a hotel and leave 4 year old ds to his dad?

Sounds as if your depressed to me. Is your partner doing enough around the house?

Divorce him at once. It is simply intolerable.

Why a slave in your own home? Does your dc not go to preschool? I have a just turned 2 year old and am counting on preschool, a whole year away, to save my sanity.

Only if I ask. Then he thinks it's a favour and will bring it up constantly. I used to be so independent. I hate asking for help from him. He makes faces like ' here we go again'. And actually he doesn't help. It's all a shoddy attempt. I've had it. And football starts tomorrow so he's taken time off with his mates to watch that while I get over a viral infection with the LO on our own

pre-school is like only 2 hours. In that time the expectations go up. So NOW why is the house still untidy? ...and all that drama before ds goes! I've had it today. I'm locking myself in the shed

Biscuits have become my drug of choice. God bless McVities

Altinkim, grape juice is a neccesity

Know how you feel. 3yo DS here, work three days a week, plus a DP that walked out a month ago when I finally confronted him about needing more support .

Its easy to say but can you list action some things that would help? Obviously a free week at a health spa would be top of the list but if you are anything like me this is a pipe dream. However, your need for some 'me' time is important as it sounds like DS and 'the house' are draining you.

I have:

Enrolled DS into preschool two days a week when I am not working, I feel a bit guilty but he loves it!!

Eased up on letting him watch TV/Cbeebies sometimes to give me a break.

Finally gotten over guilt of asking friends and family to heve DS overnight sometimes- they love it, he loves it- I love my night off. Could your DH do this for you also?

Found a gym with a creche.

Asked friends over for dinner / DVD, beats being in alone every night!!

Good luck....

Researched more things for DS and I to do together locally- have found football and craft activities that I was previously unaware of.

You are entitled to time on your own every weekend, as well as in the evenings. You job as a SAHM is not a 24 hour one, or even a 12 hour one (assuming your DS sleeps through the night). I hope your DS is caring for your son when he gets home from work. Your DS deserves that

If he won't listen, then you are going to have to

-arrange at least one night a week where you pursue a hobby

• go out every weekend for a couple of hours, at least, and leave your DS with your son. Do not ask him if this is OK

Oh thank you so much for not flaming me. Your advice is very good. I've had a cuppa and am feeling much better. I was having one of those moments where I'm on the brink of packing my suitcase, mentally at least. These days my fantasies are usually about having some 'me' time. Or having a wardrobe with ironed clothes and nothing to do.

The dh took him to sainsburys after pre-school which gave me a little more time, to finish cleaning the bathroom and have a snoop on mumsnet, which always helps.

Actually, what tipped me over is the fact that dh will take time off work for football, but not when I'm ill?

We NEED a MN retreat, an island - 4* natch!!

I've been doing all these last 4.5yrs on my own - DH hands off tosser all this time, and I have been there on the walking out.

Did it once too, waited until DH was about to head off to bed for one of his famous naps, and walked out, left him holding the baby 3yo... hardly difficult...for an hour.... scuppered his nap totally tee hee.

it made my point for a while....

You know what, I think you can feel like this but not be "depressed". Sure these things may depress you at times, but not technically clinically depressed.

I'm a bit fed up at the moment, DH working long hours, preschooler being a challenge, 7 month old baby (who is brill actually) and a big house to run. DH is great when he's here, but that's not often, and on weekends I feel like I'm spending brownie points if I even go for a leg wax...he doesn't really say anything, I guess its just me feeling guilty but I dont feel I should just dump the kids on him...

But if I have a rant to someone in real life or whatever they go all tilty headed on me and ask if I'm depressed. Really, I'm not. I'm fine - I dont do crying or anything (though I know its not just a case of that with depression) - remove me from the situation and I wouldn't feel this way. Give me a bit more balance or support and I wouldn't even whinge - I'm just all on my own at the moment (he's in Europe all week) and I'm just like, grrr, whatever, but not depressed if you see what I mean.

OP - lets piss off, Thelma and Louise style, sod the lot of them, you bring the wine and I'll provide a fun car.

Sloany - take your point - but if you go on feeling trapped, you can get tired and unable to feel you can make changes, and then you can get depressed. Even feeling guilty and unable to change things can be a sign of (mild) depression

The baby and toddler combo is v v hard. I don't know how I did it really. Tiredness alone made me do-lally

Oh - and they are HIS children. You are not "dumping" them on him. But I guess you know that ....

yeah jamie, had to remind mine that looking after ds while I go to the infant school meeting for an hour next week is NOT babysitting...

agree with those who say we shouldn't feel guilty for leaving DP/Hs on their own with the LOs. They are their children too!

I don't feel guilty about leaving ds with the 'd'h. But Why is it me that has to do the 'worrying'. Constipated ds. Dh doesn't seem to care at all. Ds has started saying hurtful things to test my boundaries - dh didn't hear it. He had put the volume up on the tv. Ds is getting bored playing indoors while I am run down with viral infection. Oh look. Dh has come home with a chocolate bar for ds. That will make it all better.

Sloany you get the car. I'll get the drinks!