...to be fed up to the back teeth with the "new rules" for everything?

[aurynne]

In a matter of 2-3 decades we have gone from one extreme to the other... and I am absolutely fed up with patronizing know-it-alls interfering in how you live your life. Examples:

• In the 70s, pregnant women smoked, drank alcohol and ate everything they wanted. Today you will be crucified if you so much as dare to drink a sip of wine at any stage of your pregnancy. A smoke will make you an immediate candidate for the capital punishment.

• Back then parents, teachers, policemen and priests would frequently slap, and even beat up, the children in their care. My dad had his ears ripped by a particularly nasty teacher at his school when he was little. Today, in many countries, you risk going to jail if you as much as smack your child's bottom after he tries to set an elderly lady on fire.

• In yesteryears kids would go out and wouldn't turn up until dinner time. In the meanwhile, they would climb trees, throw stones at one another, get into fights, tease dangerous dogs, and take any risk under the sun. Today schools don't organize trips anymore, God forbids a child grazes their knee or gets a bruise. Children are not allowed outside of the house anymore. Some schools even report parents that allow their children to walk to school on their own.

• In those good old times, dogs and cats were possessions, not pets. Dogs would spend their whole life chained to a tiny kennel, would have no exercise, would be kicked and beaten up with no hope of an Animal Protection Law to defend them. Last week I got verbally abused by a woman for mentioning that some days I don't give my dog a walk. According to her, that is inexcusable and I should have my dog taken away, as daily exercise is crucial to a dog's development. I replied that it is also crucial to human development, and I frequently spend days at home, and so far I don't suffer from any developmental disability.

Is it me or we are going from one extreme to the opposite one in all sort of rules? Why can't we just use common sense? Political correctedness and the sense of entitlement that some people (for some reason, I find it is always other women) seem to feel about telling you what to do with your life is completely ruining some aspects of our lives.

AIBU?

I agree that some of the OP's post doesn't read very clearly - but I agree with what I think the thrust of her post is - which is that we have gone from one extreme of bad old days to another extreme of over-restriction to the point of silliness.

But - I also agree that some of her points are a little over-hyped.

Having said that, the laws have gone a bit haywire in some instances - for e.g. assault has been widened to include things such as having a finger pointed at you aggressively, grasping someone's clothing (my Mum was nearly accused of assaulting the yob who stole her handbag because she had caught ahold of his t-shirt to try and stop him; my bro was charged with assault for grasping his ex's coat lapels in an argument)

Some H&S laws are being over-interpreted perhaps? Banning conkers in the playground, for e.g.?

I was not living in the UK in the 70s, and I am not living in the UK now (Spain back then, New Zealand now). However, the pendulum has oscillated in a similar way in the three countries (always in my opinion).

And believe it or not, I am talking about real life in all my examples. Of course my initial post was tongue-in-cheek, but after all, this is AIBU, so I expected to be confronted with opinions as extreme as the ones I talked about on the OP. Also, this is my first post in AIBU, so I haven´t mastered the art of writing messages here yet

Going back to dogs, I give mine a walk most days. I just don´t think that ONE day in a while without a walk (albeit with lots of exercise in the house and the large garden) is going to make an iota of difference to her development or her mental wellbeing. Same with smacking your child in the bum once, or drink a sip of wine once while pregnant.

But that is exactly the point of the thread, finding out if this particular opinion of mine makes me unreasonable in the eyes of you, the beholders.

In the old days we used to drown witches. Not everything about the way we did things is a good thing. Things move on because we learn more about what is damaging.

FWIW - I don't think you should have got a dog either if you're not prepared to walk it. Poor thing.

for me, it is not so much unreasonable as tiresome. Like listening to people who read the Daily Mail and then moan about how the world's going to the dogs, just beceause they believe all the slanted, reactionary claptrap.

I think when you start a paragraph with "In those good old times..." and go on to talk about chaining animals up and kicking them, folk could be excused for thinking that this is a wind up.

I kind of understand what you were trying to say but also think you are quite barmy.

"I just don´t think that ONE day in a while without a walk (albeit with lots of exercise in the house and the large garden) is going to make an iota of difference to her development or her mental wellbeing. Same with smacking your child in the bum once, or drink a sip of wine once while pregnant."

No, those are perfectly reasonable opinions.

Erm... I thought when someone used expressions such as "in those good old times" and followed them with nasty events such as their dad's ears been ripped by a teacher, or dogs been beaten and kept tied for life, "irony" would be a word that would naturally jump to people's mind... even in AIBU. Even for native English speakers! ;)

And we don't have the Daily Mail in New Zealand.

yabu to have expressed yourself badly
yanbu for what you're saying

Irony is not always instantly obvious to some - to make it instantly obvious, try:
In the "good" old days

That usually does the job!

I think most of us do have a sensible middle ground though. Here children walk to school alone at 9ish, schools have trips, kids play outside in the street, I drink beer when pregnant, I don't believe smacking is ever ok though, and I do think you should walk your dog.

The good old days weren't so good, and these days are not permeated by political correct.

YANBU

I agree we've gone a bit too far in trying to eradicate all risks/accidents from life.

Which is what I think the OP was trying to say .

No you're not being unreasonable, just first post wasn't overly clear. The lady having a go about your dog was crazy, and i believe (in the uk at least) a light smack isn't illegal. Think its something to do with whether you leave a mark or something? Sure others will correct me if i'm wrong... And most schools do still do trips!

you say 'rules' in your op,yet most of what you mention isnt even enforced????

there are LAWS.....but it isnt actually illegal to do alot of what you say

common sense only comes into it when you decide for yourself what to do......do you do that??

Irony you say, but not a wind up? Sorry... still think you're barmy .

There was no golden age you know, somethings are better now, some things are worse and some haven't changed at all.

I KNOW
I'm especially with you on the beating anyone's children rule

I so wish we could still all beat the shit out of our kids or rely on other care givers to do so in our absence.
Ditto animals, it's my dog and I'll bloody kick it if I want

Finally someone speaks sense on MN

Well done

I've had to look up "barmy" in the English-Spanish dictionary. And I have to agree, it actually defines me quite well... I am worried now...

"In the old days we used to drown witches"

DuelingFanjo I thought the rule was that if they drowned then they weren't witches. it was only the women who didn't drown who were considered witches. And thus burnt at the stake instead!

I think it defines many of us .

oh yeah - that then

I was struggling to find something we used to do but don't do any more

before health and safety their was natural selection

I do think it has gone to far everything is dictated to us, however we are still free to take what we are told and use common sense.

It's easy to be dismissive of the old days.. but we've thrown the baby out with the bathwater.

There was horrendous abuse of the 'old powers' that enabled children to be beaten in school and that was no good thing.. but now, as someone else says, you can be brought up on assault for very simple measures to protect children. The swing is an extreme. I know of a teaching assistant who was brought up on assault for catching an SEN child by the collar as the child lunged at a bunsen burner.. she reacted purely out of a concern for the child but because her initial reaction was clumsy and didn't mesh well with the 'restraint' training she'd had for one afternoon five years previously, she was brought up on assault.

Children aren't allowed play classic schoolyard games because they might scratch their cotton-wool enclad selves; there are no impromptu class walks to the park on sunny days (or even worse, what we used to do - impromptu walks along narrow country roads to pick blackberries.. and bring them back and make jam - in school! The horror of it! Why, we could have been knocked down/eaten a bug/been exposed to dust!

Stop pulling the wording of the post to shreds and deal with the content.

mrsbean - you forgot:
could have stabbed finger on thorns
could have burnt self on hot pot/hob
could have scalded self with hot jam

There was also that interesting thread about the woman who came onto school property to help a child out of a tree when none of the staff would in case the child fell and the school were prosecuted for it - and the woman who helped was threatened with something or other, what was it? Trespass or something?

I don't agree that we have gone too far on smoking/drinking while pregnant. The guidelines say that the occasional drink is ok. Among my friends at least, it's assumed that someone pregnant will usually choose soft drinks, but it's considered polite to offer them alcohol as well if everyone else is drinking. You trust your friends to use their common sense.

Sometimes individuals make idiotic decisions, often out of the fear of litigation. I do think it's a shame children have less freedom now to play in natural settings without adult supervision. But it seems to me that the newspapers who are nostalgic for the 'good old days' are the same ones who whip up fears about a paedophile behind every tree.

A bit extreme-but I agree with you in that there is far too much intervention in people's lives. When I grew up, practically everyone smoked and, although people weren't quite so aware of the dangers, it was seen as something people just did. We had what would be regarded today as quite appalling diets - chips cooked in lard at every meal, Smash and Spam followed with a dollop of Angel Delight. People in authority were respected(whether they deserved it or not) and parents did not micromanage their children's lives. And guess what? We survived and most of us thrived. We learned important lessons about getting ourselves out of trouble without the adult intervention that seems to be the norm today.Bring back the good old days!!