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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not go in all day as I'm breastfeeding

13 replies

tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 09/06/2010 21:38

On maternity leave until September. My boss wants me to come in for a day next month from 10-6pm to join everyone else in some transition stuff, then have a meeting with someone, then stay late for a staff meeting.

I won't get paid but would happily go as its all give and take etc. BUT I am breastfeeding my 4 month old and expressing is proving hard to get more than 2oz!

AIBU to say I will do the most vital of the thinsg he wants me to do - a few hours, but not all day?

OP posts:

withorwithoutyou · 09/06/2010 21:40

Why wouldn't you get paid? It's a keeping in touch day surely?

No way would I be going if I was breastfeeding a 4 month old.

DanJARMouse · 09/06/2010 21:41

i would say "of course i will come, but i will be bringing my baby as she is exclusively breastfed so no-one else can feed"

Montifer · 09/06/2010 21:41

YANBU at all, a few hours of unpaid meeting whilst on mat leave and exclusively bf sounds very reasonable.

Mercedes519 · 09/06/2010 21:43

Absolutely not. I think you are being reasonable to consider going in at all especially when you're not getting paid for it! Have you explained? What did they say? Chances are your boss hasn't even thought about the practical aspects of it at all.

Original poster

tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 09/06/2010 21:57

He can be difficult! I think as I am returning part time when DS is 6/7 months which isn't that far away, he just assumes I can leave him now, as I will have to then. But by then he will be doing finger foods and I will have mastered (here's hoping!) expressing etc.

I won't get paid as such as a KIT day will be taken out of my maternity pay.....can't explain it, but basically I won't be paid.

I wish I could take him in but I teach so it wouldn't work.

OP posts:

PaulineCampbellJones · 09/06/2010 22:05

You can do up to 10 KIT days and be paid for all of them. You don't lose out on your maternity for a KIT. Paying you for them is at the company's discretion though I think.
Can someone not go in with you to look after baby while you do your stuff and you could come out at feeding time?

withorwithoutyou · 09/06/2010 22:07

Surely if you don't get paid for it you get a days maternity back in lieu, don't you?

violethill · 09/06/2010 22:09

What is the arrangement in your terms and conditions about KIP days? If its something you signed up to, then I think you have to make arrangements and go along with it. If it is just an informal thing and your boss is asking you as a gesture of goodwill, then of course its up to you whether you want to.

Original poster

tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 09/06/2010 22:11

Really the pay isn't my concern. I would take someone with me but I have a toddler too so feel a bit bad asking someone to look after him and someone else coming to work with me from 10-6! They would get sooooo bored.....

I have emailed to say I know how important the 10-12 part of the day is and will happily come in but as I am feeding I can't stay all day. Sound ok?

OP posts:

Original poster

tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 09/06/2010 22:14

thats not meant to sound like I don't need the money (we do!!) but its so complicated and all I want to do is feed my baby whilst I can without all the complications of work/expressing etc!!

OP posts:

hairytriangle · 09/06/2010 22:34

YANBU!!

PaulineCampbellJones · 09/06/2010 22:42

I think it's a long time to go in even if you're not BF. Sorry, missed that it was 10 -6.
My KIT days I worked 10.30 til about 2 or 3 and that was plenty to get updates I needed and not long enough to start worrying about work.

Cashncarry · 09/06/2010 22:59

I went back to work for a week and a half when DS was just under three months old. He was ebf. It was to cover my boss' holiday and I worked 9am - 5.30pm. I did it as a favour and because I wanted to take a slightly longer maternity than I planned (9 mths rather than 6 mths).

It is do-able but only if you want to! I pumped like mad the month before and froze a lot of bm. DS wasn't keen on the bottle but would take a couple of ounces at a time. We did a combination of nursery and DH looking after him which wasn't ideal - in retrospect I should have asked DH to book the entire time off.

I bf him like mad literally just before I dropped him off/left him with DH. Then I'd either come home or go into nursery to feed him at lunchtime. Once or twice i couldn't get away from the office and DH brought him in for a feed. I pumped at work too to make sure I didn't get engorged and kept it in the fridge, much to the delight of my co-workers!

By the end of the week and a half, it was a nightmare tbh. DS was really going for gold feeding at night and I was exhausted from all the pumping/running around and general stress. I wouldn't do it again - I felt like my milk was drying up by the end of that period and it took ages to get DS back into a normal routine again.

I think you should tell them that you'll come in for a short while in the morning and then again in the afternoon but not all day and they'll have to bear in mind that they'll need to provide facilities for you to pump and store your breastmilk - that should put them off!

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