to be pissed off with DP

[lal123]

OK. My Mum is arriving tomorrow afternoon for a couple of days. DP is working late. Its a busy afternoon as I'll have to pick up DD1 from school, drive to airport to pick up Mum at 4, get home, get tea made and eaten, get DD1 changed, take DD2 to her dance rehearsal at 6, pick her up again at 8 - all with DD2 in tow - 8 months, and then get kids bathed and bedded. (Mum not much help due to a medical condition)

Now it turns out that DP has an appointment at 6.20 and not another one til 8.20. He says he can't come home between times (which wouldn't really help anyway) but hasn't even checked with 8.20 person whether they could make it earlier. I'm going to be rushin around all day tidying and cleaning and looking after the kids and he's going to be sitting in his office???

I'm FUMING

He should certainly check whether the 820 person can make it earlier.

Can you grab a takeaway? That'd take at least one thing off you.

a little bit unreasonable

if he cant he cant

atleast he isn't away for four months at a time with no contact

Fish and chips it is.

If he can't he can't - but he bloody could if he thought about it a bit more and thought his family was as important as his job

What time would your dp usually finish work? In some jobs it is very difficult to finish early/on time especially with not much notice. I know it is frustrating, but I doubt he will just be "sitting in his office" (unless this is issue is far bigger than just the problems you are facing tomorrow night?)

In your position I would say as nicely as I could to dp that I was feeling stressed and unsupported by him. I would ask him to do "extra" stuff at home another night in return.

wrt to tomorrow, you need to look at all possible ways of minimising the stress.

e.g. could your dd2 get a lift either there or back from the rehearsal. Could you bath your dd2 earlier in the day or even give her bath a miss. Tea should be takeaway or something very very simple and basic.

Also you must get a bottle of wine (or large bar of chocolate if you don't drink)

yabu I think
i can understand why you feel cross, but he can't really help it can he?
is the appt in person or on the phone? my dp sometimes takes work phone-meeting calls at home if they're late in the evening

if not then just think of things that might make it easier on you...

can someone pick dd1 up from school for you? or take her to/from her dance thing?
can you make some stew or something this evening or tomorrow morning to have so you don@t need to prepare anything?
is your mum so ill that you can't leave the 8month old with her?

oh and forget the baths... they don't need them!

Can't you just drop the dance rehearsal? Is it really that essential? Would make life so much easier if you skipped it and you can actually enjoy some time with your mum.

I know IABU---just ranting. Like the idea of a bottle of wine and of adding this to the "you owe me one" book.

Think will drop DD1 off at her other grans after school and ask her gran to get her ready etc

Can leave DD2 with my Mum for a while.

Off to cuddle DP

Dance rehearsal is a given - show on Sunday, been working towards it for months!

can't cuddle him - he's doing guilt ironing

result. I'll send mine

he's crap at ironing, so only send the kids stuff!

After a glass of wine and some gentle kicks up the bum all is well in Lals house again. Thanks.

(You see - this is how an AIBU thread should work, OP realises she is a bit unreasonable and gets quietly plastered while DP irons)

lal that is how the world should work

Why invite your mum when everything is so frantic?
Or is it so she can watch the show?

Lol, guilt ironing and a glass of wine. Hmmm, what can I make DH feel guilty about- I'm sure there's plenty if I think carefully!