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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

about this faffing with us adopting BIL's cat?

5 replies

MadreInglese · 09/06/2010 14:14

BIL's wife has left him and the poor sod has so much to sort out that when he asked if we would take his cat (he can't have it in his new place and she no longer wants it) we agreed straight away.

We have two male cats and his is female but fingers crossed they will get on, we know we'll have to keep them all inside for a few weeks and there'll probably be scrapping and crapping and stressing and such like, but we successfully put our two together a few years ago and reckon they'll get on ok after a little grumpy transition period.

But.....

BIL has now decided that he needs to bring the cat to visit a few times before she comes to live here to make sure she 'gets on' with our two . Now I don't think this is a good idea (or even necessary really), they will probably scrap and then BIL will worry they won't 'get on', and I don't see the point in disrupting our cats and traumatising his cat repeatedly and then going back to normal for a bit and then doing it again (our cats go out a lot and we'd have to keep them all in and BIL lives 3 hours drive away so will be carting his poor cat around for too long in the car).

I've said that we're more than happy to have the cat live with us long or short term or whatever, but that he should bring her only when he is ready to leave her here. DP is agreeing with BIL (as they are both soft sods) and can't see that visiting with a cat is not like visiting with a dog, and cats rarely like each other on first meeting.

arrgghhh

Do I have a point or am I just being a grumpy old woman?

OP posts:
sanielle · 09/06/2010 14:16

You are right. OF course they won't get on straight away. They are cats.

They will stare at eachother from other sides of the room for days.

Then act as they always lived there and ignor each other at will

CrazyPregnant · 09/06/2010 14:17

You definately have a point- especially given it's a 3 hour car journey! Poor cat. Stick to your guns on this on!

MadreInglese · 09/06/2010 14:33

ah thankyou

OP posts:
ChuckBartowski · 09/06/2010 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pranma · 09/06/2010 16:55

You are absolutely right-there will be some problems initially but if he keeps taking the cat away and bringing it back the problems will just repeat themselves.

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