Not to buy my brother a present?

[LouIsWaltzingMatilda]

Now I know I am being a little bit U but I think that my brother needs to learn. And I need impartial advice so here I am.
He has not once bought me a present, called on my birthday or Christmas etc
It is his birthday in two weeks and I am seriously considering not getting him a thing.
Now I know that presents should be a gift because you love someone etc but I am getting sick and tired of never ever receiving anything, even a text. It was my 30th this year and I got nothing, not even a call which was quite disappointing.
So should I just ignore him?

Hello, YANBU. In my experience with family, it often takes a BIG gesture to make a point. Subtle hints just don't cut it sometimes!
If he never makes an effort, and you do, it's just enabling him to carry on being lazy and thoughtless, and allowing him to think (or pretend to think ) that you're OK with it.
Make a stand!

He probably won't even really notice a present if he's used to gettting one, he might notice the absence of one though and wonder why!

YANBU. I am getting fed up with certain members of my family and their expectations over presents. I made a bit more of an effort this year and still didn't even get a thank you. Next year its a fiver in a card and thats it. Just a token gesture that I have to do otherwise I'll get moaned at.

In your case I wouldn't bother at all now.

YANBU. I'm thinking of doing the same with two of mine. It really is the though that counts, and when it's clear that someone can't even be arsed to think of you it's hard to feel generous in return.

I helped my brother out with some money trouble last year when I could barely afford it. He didn't even write a card on my birthday.

*thought

Thank you.
I was feeling a bit guilty but I don't now .

Why don;t you send him a card saying something like

"On your special day, it is the thought that counts. I thought about buying you a present".

My brother doesn't do gifts either. For Christmas I made a paper 'humbug bag' and filled with with humbugs from the supermarket (I think they cost 80p).

How old is your brother?

YANBU (assuming your brother is an adult).

He clearly doesn't think presents are important. (That's not a criticism, I don't myself). So no need to get him one.

... however, YABU to think it will teach him anything if you don't get him a present. He probably won't care.

My brothers only get a card from me (3 of them aged between 23 and 39). I do tend to get my sister a little something for hers but I am a lot closer to her.

birthday presents stop being obligatory once you reach about 15

A card is plenty. You don't even need to say anything snotty.

YANBU

He may not send you a present because he doesn't want to do present swaps full stop. Maybe he is frustrated that you haven't been picking up on his hints all these years, or then again...

YANBU

I am not sure why so many people seem to buy other adults presents (generous though it is). It seems to be a quick route to confusion and frustration. I would just assume you had called it quits and buy yourself something you want with the money you save. I think that presents for adults are generally only for round number birthdays which have an attached party and should generally be edible/quaffable. Everyone seems to have their own internal rules and problems come from them not matching.

Buy him a birthday book with all the relevant family dates, addresses & phone numbers filled in. If he has anything at all between his ears, he'll get the idea.

I live here in the UK and he is in Australia so a phone call at least would be nice.
We always buy presents in our family. We are a very very small family too so it is not as if we have a lot of people to buy for.
I tihnk I will just send a card.

Well, some people are just selfish through and through and the only thing making a stand will do is possible cause friction in the family, i'd just shrug it off accept he is crap and only send a card from now on,

YANB at all U - in fact, why don't you take the money you would have spent on a present and card for him, and get yourself a 30th birthday present instead? Then take a photo of yourself holding said present and email it to him saying thanks!!!!! [pleased with self for amusing idea emoticon]

TBH I wouldn't see your brother's behaviour as selfish, I would just see it as him deciding that as adults presents are no longer necessary. (Although if this is the case, it would have been a good idea to say something, especially as you have kept sending things!). I doubt he will even notice you not sending a present.

not calling sending card, informing the person that you passed their thoughts for a split second is selfish though.

I wouldn't be bothered by no gift but no phone call?? that is selfish

This is that thing where you're taking the poison and waiting for someone else to die. You're getting vexxed and he doesn't know or care. Just don't. I think if you make a sarcastic gesture he'll just think you're a petty loon. Buy yourself some cupcakes from Waitrose instead and have them with a cup of tea while reading a magazine. That would be proper birthday treat. I've only just realised that is what I will do for mine.