AIBU in wanting to holiday abroard with kids

[mophead5]

ever since kids were born, 8 years ago, the only place hubby has taken us on holiday is east coast ...FOR A DAY TRIP.
Sorry, but i want more...I want to rent a very large villa in spain or france with a pool, go with whole family ( that would be 6 adults and 8 kids) and share all cooking, cleaning etc, plus take turns babysitting so we all get a break.
Hubby says this will turn into a complete f*ing nightmatre. I think he is being unreasonable and there must be loads of people who have taken their kids abroard.
Bah Humbug...who is right.
Please say me then give me ideas on which hols to go for.

We do exactly what you suggested (varies but at most 8 adults & 7 kids) and it works brilliantly but I can see it's definitely not going to work for everyone. A few things we've realised along the way: BUT:

1. You've got to get on with each other extremely well - well enough to say if something starts to piss you off before it becomes WW3
2. Get somewhere BIG with plenty of outdoor space for the kids to run around (play areas, tennis courts, pool etc all come in very handy). If you're on top of each other you'll drive each other mad no matter how well you all get along.
3. Make sure you have your own car & get out on your own as a family - we usually do some sort of sightseeing jolly and a couple of beach days/afternoons with just me, DH & our DC.
4. Make the most of having babysitters on call and go out for dinner together
5. Share the chores & childcare in the day so you're not working all day every day.

To be honest the thought of going away with just DH & our DSs sounds exhausting (same routine different scenery?) so we just stick to our big family trip and then a weekend away for the two of us.
Good luck whatever you decide
LCN
PS Stayed in various villas in Portugal, Majorca and France if you want any recs.

Go with your family and leave DH behind, if that's the kind of holiday you want. Personally, i would rather have no holiday than a great big Would Be Walton type of affair

I feel your pain - my DH was EXACTLY like this, had only been abroad once, on a really action-packed but back-packer style holiday and was totally anti a sun, sea and relaxation holiday. (It was slightly comlicated by difficult issues with contact with his DS) we have been in gritty caravans, tents in the pouring rain, and one final straw that broke the camels back in a motor home. (Don't ask for details - still traumatised)

I went to a local travel agent about Easter time, asked her for the best deal she had for our family - she came up with a fantastic deal in S'Algar, Menorca. I asked the family (my mum and dad, DH & DD) they were willing to try it, booked it.

It was touch and go right up until the last week about whether he was going to come with us or stay home and 'get things done' (we'd had a difficult year) but it was the best thing ever. It was utterly blissful. Mum and Dad were there to take care of the kids so we could go out together. Now, I can tell you what DH would order from any take-out or restaurant, but there he was, trying paella and gazpacho and scuba-diving (yes, ok, not on the menu but just to give you an idea) like a man without a care! (He did have one dodgy day when he had one too many beers and cried because he couldn't share the experience with DSS, but fair-do's, not sure I could have gone on holiday without my DD)

As soon as we got home, he wanted to book up for this year - we used owners direct to get a villa, they have every possible size and price and location.

GO FOR IT!

mophead If this is your first holiday abroad, I suggest you try a travel agent first. For a novice booking a holiday over the internet can be quite daunting.

As a family we have always holidayed abroad apart from the DC 1st holiday when they were under 6 months. We have been to villas with extended family and the other side of the world as just the 4 of us. After 13 years we now have the perfect formula worked out so that we have something for everyone on the trip.

We nearly always go away with friends or family. It's great. But it's evolved over many years with different setups. You (both) need to be confident that the group would work out and try to plan in a little bit of independence/family privacy if you (he) thinks it necessary.What are his reasons for thinking it would be a complete nightmare? Is it because your original suggestion involves your family and he that's his issue?
Maybe try out a long weekend somehwere in this country first?

And re: "if he can afford it," I think that poster was querying the fact that it seems to be regarded as his money. And isn't it a bit odd that you refer to him "taking" you on holiday? In this house, it's "we are going," not "he is taking us." Do you have equal status in this marriage?

Do you really want this huge family holiday? Because you seem to be putting up a lot of barriers!

Personally I think if you have only ever done day trips to the English coast, then a massive extended family fest abroad might be too large a step first time - why not book a family holiday in Europe and make it so enjoyable that your DH is begging for more!

If he is adamant he doesn't want to do the massive family affair (and its not everyone's cup of tea) then I agree with the others - you go with the kids. I think as long as you are prepared to make your own financial commitment (along with him too - fairs fair) then there shouldn't be a problem