to think that women dress primarily for other women, not men

[baskingseals]

A few weeks ago I went to a 'ladies that lunch' sort of do. Every single women was dressed up to the nines.All fragrant, coiffered and obviously dressed with a great deal of thought and attention. There were no men at this do at all - it was a charity lunch. What also really struck me was all the glances and self awareness, they wanted to be looked at, and also look. Found it very interesting as I had always thought that it was a given that women dress to attract men, but now feel that actually it's mainly for their own and other women's benefit.

AIBU?

men can only tell if women dress a bit slutishly or if they don't. Those are the only two styles of dress

Some very bizarre responses, I thought most people would dress up to make themselves feel good.

Super and Orient - I am a super controlling manipulative type person. I like to be in control of most situations. I like to feel that I am top dog (I know how bad that sounds). I am actually quite insecure, nervous and extremely anxious. I was bullied at school a lot by mostly long haired, skinny blonde girls who had the money to dress well and whos parents all had nice cars. I dress in such a way that these 'type' of people look at me and think twice about it. I dress well, my hair is great. I try to be nice to everyone and I appear to be confident. People do not attack me so much now. I have always been a target for women as I have some odd ways about me. I also have a lot of male friends (really just friends) and women dont seem to like this. All wives and girlfriends used to see me as a threat. I have worked hard to change the way I come accross to people and this includes dressing for the occasion and the type of people that will be there.

Jumbled post. I dont expect to be flamed, Im not saying im right and freely admit I have 'issues'. You asked, I tried to explain...perhaps not in a very good way...

Chandon- you have hit the nail on the head for me. Your post made uncomfortable reading as I am ashamed I fit into the dress for men category- not to 'pull' any man but over the years this has been either to attract a new partner or impress my current one.

I don't worry what my female friends think- they love me in my scruffies (I think).

As a result most of the time I look pretty scruffy. I wear what I like and feel comfortable with that. When I get the (rare) opportunity to go out I make a real effort, resulting in a lot of "ooh I didn't regognise you with make-up on, in a dress" etc type comments.

Think I may get flamed, but I am just being honest - guess I have issues!! .

I wear what I like and take care of myself and my clothing because I believe I'm worth doing so.
I chose fashion that suits me and my lifestyle. I am very interested in fashion but only syphon what works for me into my wardrobe.

I neither dress to attract men or control women's opinion or response.

I think that the idea of doing something for another, in this sense, is one that needs to be stopped. Do it for yourself and for your own sense of self esteem...you are worth time and effort.

I would dress nicely to go out to lunch as I would look forward to it and it would enhance my day out, for me, personally.

so is it individual choice?

some women dress for men
some don't
some women are competitive
some aren't

takes all sorts and all that

I hate it when people say, women do this/that/whatever.

Yes, I'm sure all women do exactly that, all over the world.

What you have basically witnessed is a sort of ladies who lunch power dressing. People dress for the context, depending on what is clean and what Vogue has convinced us is cool for this month.

Fair point dittany. I completely agree with you.

However, would it also be fair to say that the male definition of female attractiveness is so different to women's? I have met some women who I would consider to be quite average looking but for some reason men jump through hoops of fire to get to these people. I think most men have a more realistic view of female attractiveness nowadays than other women.

Am I going off piste here?

so when there are no men about, women preen to make other women aware of how attractive they are to men?

agree with ali that a man's definition of an attractive woman isn't necessarily a woman's.
dittany - i agree that men judge and look at womens' figures, but their dress sense?