As said, really, but to be more specific, I kicked him out for having an affair, got a remortgage to survive til I could get a job and a lodger and calculated that I owed him £11 000 and paid him it, (which, of course, DH and I will be paying for, for years). He has never paid maintenance, as he sees the kids Tues/Thurs/every other weekend.
For 3 years, he lived with a friend, another single dad, across town, so I did ALL the school runs, working part-time and studying at one point. His excuse for not doing them/arranging childcare is that he doesn't drive & works f/t.
The last couple of years he moved back in with his mum & dad, so his dad (begrudgingly) does them on his mornings.
Now I know it's only 2 afternoons a week, but our argument is that if he can't be responsible for them on his days, then he shouldn't be having them. I've pointed out the existence of taxi's, childminders & after-school clubs, but he keeps saying he cant do it because he works f/t.
My mum was doing one day for him, as DS had a club, but once he said he didn't want to do it any more we had a problem, as my mum can't pick him up any earlier. So, after saying that I was 'forcing him to go part-time', I arranged for DS to go to the after-school club, but said he'd have to pay.
In return, I got a text saying that he was going to shop me to the DWP for benefit fraud (which is ridiculous because I haven't committed any!) and a string of rude texts and emails resulting in us calmly and politely suggesting mediation and then reiterating an earlier proposal to change the access arrangements to 3 out of 4 weekends, with us taking the weeks so that the kids have a stable week. (Obviously DH and I don't want to lose a weekend, but he's being so awkward...)
I think I know we're not BU, but really need some other opinions on this!