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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To assume I'm not invited?

22 replies

Dinkytinky · 08/06/2010 15:53

A friend of mine and DP Has sent invitations out via facebook for his birthday party ina couple of weeks time. Dp has had invite but I haven't! Other friends I have spoken to who are in couples have had one each so I think I'm not invited but can't think why?
He's not a really close friend, but whenever we do see each other it's all hugs and chatting away etc and he is invited to our wedding next year (although hasn't RSVPd yet)
DP said just to come along anyway but I'm quite shy and don't want to ask the birthday boy if I'm invited because I reaaaally don't want any awkwardness iyswim?

OP posts:
sanielle · 08/06/2010 15:56

I would not assume you are not invited. My guess is he just missed you out by accident. He will be really embarrassed if you don't go and he figures out why.

RockRose · 08/06/2010 15:56

can you leave a message on his facebook with a jokey 'hey, what about me?' sort of thing?

Flisspaps · 08/06/2010 16:00

I'd do what sanielle says - don't go, see if he realises his mistake, and then there's no embarrassment if his lack of invite was intentional.

RockRose's idea could lead to an embarrassing response if he publicly replies and it turns out not to be a mistake!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 08/06/2010 16:02

I think he's probably missed you out by accident too - unless there's omething you're not telling us, and last time you saw him you were belly-dancing on the table?

TrillianAstra · 08/06/2010 16:06

You are almost definitely invited. Don't be silly. It's easy to mis-click when inviting a bunch of people via Facebook, or even for FB to mess up, or to assume that DP would tell you.

singsinthebath · 08/06/2010 16:07

Can you get another friend to mention it to them?

Fel1x · 08/06/2010 16:15

I'd assume you ARE invited

edwardcullensotherwoman · 08/06/2010 16:18

I hate this "invites via fb" nonsense, why can't people just pick up the phone, or buy a stamp? Then there's much less confusion.

I would say you probably are invited, but he missed you out; as Trillian said, it's quite easy to mis-click when inviting people on fb. Maybe drop him a line to check? (In a jokey light-hearted way, not a crazy-bitch style "what about my invite??!" way like I would )

cat64 · 08/06/2010 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Dinkytinky · 08/06/2010 16:24

Thanks everyone! Lol at bellydancing on tables! (maybe a few years ago haha!) I think I will give him a quick text, I reaaally hate fb too- I miss getting pretty invites in the post!

OP posts:
pigletmania · 08/06/2010 16:25

I am sure thatyou have been invited, but turn up anyway, I would

sanielle · 08/06/2010 16:30

yeah but then what happens when you post a load of invites, and they get lost in the mail!

diamondsandtiaras · 08/06/2010 16:34

I would get DP to ask for you..........much less embarassing for you if you really haven't been invited.............

DetectivePotato · 08/06/2010 16:34

Get your DP to ask him if the invite includes you. I hate it when there has been some sort of event and you get the "hey what about me" comments. Its like you have to invite everyone you know (although I am referring to a completely different situation there).

poppymouse · 08/06/2010 16:54

This happened to us once, although it was pre-Facebook. DP was invited, I was really upset, it was back home and therefore a proper weekend away. When DP got there they were all asking why I hadn't come, far too far to grab some glad rags and join in. Either ask casually or just go. If they didn't want you there, there is no way they would have invited your DP unless they are utter fools. It doesn't sound like they are.

EnglandAllenPoe · 08/06/2010 16:56

if he's invited, surely it goes without saying you are too?

if i invite someone, i may not nec speak to their OH, but that wouldn't be a sign of exclusion....

ChunkyMonkeysMum · 08/06/2010 17:00

Can't DP text him & ask if the invite includes partners? That way, no one has to be embarrassed because he'll only either reply to say of course, or sorry, no it doesn't. Far less for everyone.

nickelbabe · 08/06/2010 17:03

i would definitely get DP to ask if you're invited. it won't sound like you're begging for an invitation, it will sound like a genuine, "oh, lovely, i would love to come, is Dinky invited too, because if she is we'll need to find a babysitter..."

maddy68 · 08/06/2010 19:35

I wouls assume it has just been missed off - I sent an event invitation out at christmas and I had managed to miss off my very best friend
Its easily done

abbierhodes · 08/06/2010 21:42

I think it's really bizarre to assume you're not invited, tbh!!

When DH and I invite couple friends, we don't always ask both partners, it's just whoever we see first. Maybe he's forgotten you're on his friends list?

PigletJohn · 08/06/2010 22:39

If he's a man, he doesn't think it necessary to invite you if he's invited your bloke.

You could always get DP to reply "thanks for the invite, Dinky and I will be very pleased to come. I take it partners are included? ATB, Bloke"

PigletJohn · 08/06/2010 22:40

p.s. if he says "no" then DP is duty-bound not to go without you

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