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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I need quick advice - dealing with school (please)

19 replies

DalbySun · 08/06/2010 15:38

Not read replies to other thread yet so apologies for this one. I need some quick advice.

I have to phone school now and discuss the matter of DS being headbutted and punched numerous times in the face by a known trouble maker. (Someone who has hurt him and others before)

The *** kid has been suspended from school until Monday but tbh I think they've only done this because year 6 are on a residential trip until then anyway and he was one of the only kids not going.

So they have dealt with it in a way (although I think he should have been permanantly excluded personally) would I be unreasonable to tell the school that although I know they have dealt with it this time, if he touches him again I will be reporting it as asault to the police?

OP posts:
faerie07 · 08/06/2010 15:40

I would!!!!!

fin54 · 08/06/2010 15:41

Don?t think that is unreasonable at all, in fact I would demand that his parents be told that if he touches him again it will be a police matter

oldernowiser · 08/06/2010 15:42

If it was me I would insist that the police are involved at this stage. It's not the first assault, and clearly serious. At 11 the kid is old enough to take consequences and hopefully it will make his parents take it seriously as well.
Hope DS is OK

lucky1979 · 08/06/2010 15:45

I think that is reasonable - if this child has been a persistant little thug then you need to step in to protect your son.

I would speak to the police anyway, log the incident if possible and get their advice, even if you don't want to take it further at this stage. It is assault, and you will be in a stronger position to demand the school take action if it happens again.

Flisspaps · 08/06/2010 15:48

YANBU, you never know, he might well already be known to the police anyway, and school might be supportive - there's only so much schools can do. Are they going up to the same secondary in Sept?

Sassybeast · 08/06/2010 15:50

YANBU - if it's not the first attack, i'd report it to the police NOW, rather than wait for it to happen again. Hope your son is okay.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 08/06/2010 15:53

As I said on your other thread, I once had occasion to tell ds3's school that I'd taken advice from the police, who told me that what had happened to him was an assault (two boys tried to shove his head into a urinal), and that they'd take it further if I asked them - and it got a very quick response from the school.

Ring your police station - they should be happy to give you some advice before you decide on a firm course of action.

3peasinapod · 08/06/2010 16:00

YANBU

His parents should know about it for sure.. If it was me I would file a complaint To the police.

Hope your ds is ok.

porcamiseria · 08/06/2010 16:41

yes tell them, for sure, little fucking shit, dont get agrro with the school but be very firm that one more assult occuirs, you are going nuclear on the little shit

I really wish we could hiore tough men to go and give these little so and sos a good seeing too, sigh.............

how old are they?

beanlet · 08/06/2010 16:43

Report it to the police now, tell the school that you have done so, and that if it happens again you will press charges.

mattsmama · 08/06/2010 16:47

This is physical assault. If this happened outside of school - the police would be involved. Involve them now without delay!

Original poster
DalbySun · 08/06/2010 16:56

Thanks for the advice.

The whole thing happened if front of 4 teachers so there are plenty of witnesses. I have spoken to the police who said I could report this incident and that I didn't need to wait for a second time. I spoke to school who completely agreed with me that I have every right to take it to the police and they have already taken their own witness statements so I reckon they have been expecting me to anyway.

Unfortunately they are going to the same secondary school but if his older siblings are anything to go by, he'll be out of education completely by the age of 13 anyway.

He's the kind of kid you could quite imagine to bring a knife into school. Personally I don't agree with all this inclusion crap, the kid is a danger and should be taken out of mainstream schooling altogether. Fuck his rights, what about the rights of every other child in that school??? it makes me so angry.

I'm going to get in touch with secondary school before they start to let them know they need to keep an eye on him near my son. (and everyone elses child).

Thanks again for the advice, sorry I sound so irate, I'm not normally this aggressive, honest!

OP posts:
majafa · 08/06/2010 16:57

Id report it to the police, like now.

StripeyMoon · 08/06/2010 16:58

I too would be reporting it now. Why let it happen again? He is a known 'offender' and your son should not have to put up with this behaviour ever let alone in a school environment.

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 08/06/2010 17:04

My sister had trouble at school with a bully. My stepmum took him round behind the classroom, told himbif he didn't leave her alone she would Break his legs! OBVIOUSLY I would NOT recommend this, but it worked for her!

zerominuszero · 08/06/2010 17:06

I'd police it up right now and write to the school with a formal complaint, potentially even CC'ing in your lawyers, if you really want to go the whole hog.

Vallhala · 08/06/2010 21:58

The only difficulty is that the police may well tell you that they only deal with such incidents within schools when the school have not done so appropriately and satisfactorily. And the school will tell you that by excluding the other child, they have. This is all to do with Govt guidelines which came in about 2 or 3 years ago, which puts the onus onto the schools/reduces police paperwork/covers up the real amount of serious bullying in state schools - delete as your experiences dictate.

You can of course insist that charges are pressed, but you may have to be quite firm and repetitive to obtain police action, insisting that a crime has been committed and that you have a right to legal recourse.

What's more, I would, and have done. Don't be put off if you feel that a criminal charge is the best way of dealing with this. IME it's sometimes the only way of ensuring a child like your son's assailant behaves and backs off.

Vallhala · 08/06/2010 22:01

Whoops, sorry, I spent so much time typing and being interrupted by DD2 that by the time I'd hit send you'd made it clear that in your case the ridiculous guidelines I mentioned above haven't been used.

Thank god for that!

kickassangel · 08/06/2010 22:20

hmm, it sounds like the police & school expect/want you to complain - it must be v frustrating for them if they have known offenders, but can't take things further as no-one ever makes it official. should the child do something like this again, and you haven't made a formal complaint, it would have to be dealt with as a first offence, when in fact it's not.

if you have the inclination to do this, it could help police & school in the future - give them more evidence to bring swifter actions?

btw, primaries pass details on to secondary schools - another reason that a complaint would help, as this info would be handed on at changeover.

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