to want to relax in my own home without having neighbouring kids round all the time

[Fossil]

There's just no hiding place, especially now it's light nights. I'm dreading the summer holidays when they will all be round during the day as well, appear to have mealtimes that last 5 minutes, and have extended bedtimes. How do other people manage it?

I can totally understand why my parents used to encourage us to go to other friends houses instead of having them round to us.

"dc1 and dc2 (etc) aren't coming out to play right now and you can't come in at the moment / today, bye"

I know faeiemoo. That's what's bothering me, cos I can remember my childhood being like it. Think that's why my mum and dad bought a caravan and we had lots of weekends away.

I don't always answer the door nowadays tbh Annoying though I agree.

I've pretty much banned most of the neighbourhood kids from the garden apart from one or two selected friends. One year I counted about 17 in my garden rampaging about. At that point I decided enough was enough!

By the same token I don't always allow my own dc to keep on turning up round at the neighbours either. We have safe communal areas for them to play near the houses - I think there is the best place for them to meet up.

I feel your pain. If I hear "can I come to yooooour house?" one more time I am going to SCREAM!!

No. You are FIVE and my children are 9 and 11!!!! They don't really want to play with you!

We have, more than once, actually left the house to get away from it!

And we can't sit in our own garden without "What are you doooooing?" and "can I come to yooooour house?" and just generally being watched.

Don't get me wrong, she's a nice little kid and her mum is nice too and a good neighbour, but we just really really REALLY want to be able to just be around our house and in our garden!

Also feel guilty because ds has been in two gardens in paddling pools in recent weeks, (but on the other hand think if you put a paddling pool, climbing frame or a trampoline in your garden you get what you deserve), but have banned anyone from our garden as we have birds nesting and seeds planted - but really cos I just don't want them in there kicking footballs around and being a total pain in the rear.

Hecate, we go out A LOT, and it costs a flipping fortune. Actually, I know I should be glad that he has friends and is popular, and part of the problem is that he will drop whatever he is doing to go out and play, because he loves it. Think I am probably a bit jealous, and feel as if I am losing my little boy (he is 7).

"dc1 and dc2 (etc) aren't coming out to play right now and you can't come in at the moment / today, bye"

yep, my answer too. DS spends tiem round at other kids house but in one case its someone I ask to childmind and pay her if its more than 30 minutes.
In all other cases I only allow it if I know the mum or dad (not the kids) has said its OK and I limit it to 30 mins - 1hr unless otherwise arranged.

Kids round at ours I don't always mind as they amuse each other rather than DS whining at me. But we are doing building work so I try and encourage DS to play outside with other kids instead - safer!

My dd has one friend who appears about 5 mins after we get back from school. She gets home, gets changed and is straight out. I have tried to explain that we have a snack/ chat/get changed/ do homework etc. but she is v.persistent. Have ignored doorbell when it's all too much!

You think it's bad now... wait until you've got a horde of teenagers sprawling around. At least the under 12s are ACTIVE!

God Fossil, I hear you and feel your pain.

The nice kids aren't so bad, they are manageable and sometimes quite sweet but it is the little madams who get on my nerves. I work in the evening so the rule is when I'm not at home only one friend is allowed in the garden because it isn't fair on my mother. So tonight I come home to find out that one of the neighbour kids picked a piece off the separating brick wall and threw it at my dts1.

Sheesh, feral little mongrels.

JUST SAY NO!!!!!!!

I sympathise although I've got better at saying "No not today!" During easter holidays one of the neighbours came round to say she felt bad because her children always seemed to be in our house, and to please tell them no if it's not convenient!

Tbh that has made it easier for me to say no more, (I suppose if they go back and say they're not allowed in she doesn't think I'm being mean! I've sometimes said they can all play in the garden not inside, but I still wasn't getting much of a break. It was "Have you got any of this?/We want to make something/Can we have a picnic/We can't open the shed/Bubble machine is out of batteries, have you got some?" Arghh! These weren't my children's requests btw, they were all the neighbours' kids!

If they were inside it wasnn't unusual for the living room to be taken up with a few of them watching telly, one in the study playing on computer, each of the children's bedrooms occupied with toys everywhere and even if I retreated to our bedroom my neighbour's ds would be coming in asking for ink for the printer or needing help on a computer game, I had nowhere to go in my own house!

I'm firmer now, if they all come in they play either upstairs or down, not both, and if I say no then the garden's also out of bounds. Once you start being firm they'll soon get the message!

Oh I do, Porc. Many, many times.

Doesn't stop the asking though.

What a miserable bunch you lot are! I look forward to the light nights so the kids can get together. They love it & it's really good for them on so many levels. I don't mind my dd's friends calling for her at all. I'm wary of her calling on others too much, though, cos I'm aware po faced miseries who like children to be seen & not heard do exist! Maybe it's my background but I spent very little time in adult company when I was young. I was always out with my mates - I loved it & think that's what childhood is all about. The problem these days is that kids don't have the right to roam so they end up in the back garden.

I'm looking forward to it but mine are a little younger so I might eat my words. As long as I'm not constantly having to sort out problems or fights or they are not TOTALLY trashing the place...I like to think I'll even provide the best snacks (I'm a bit Monica from Friends like that)...

I really really wish we had more children closer, so I think it's case of grass being greener.

That's the reason I'm happy to live on an estate where the kids go out to play when they are really young. DD was out at 3 (with me on the doorstep to start).

She's out and about with her friends now and I barely see her, she wears a watch and comes back to check in every hour and isnlt allowed to leave the street without asking and telling me where she'll be (we have playgrounds on the estate), and to scrounge food for half the neighbourhood but I get peace.

I chuckle at the neighbours who bought trampolines as they have the kids in garden issue, I have a trampoline free, kid free garden.

I think it's nice on the whole but I do not enjoy the four knocks during tea time (even though they've been told it's tea time and that DS is not playing) and the subsequent dancing on teh front wall so that my DSs are too busy watching to actually bloody eat...