to lie to my dc to stop my ex ruining my night ?

[MrsMorgan]

It's my birthday on Thursday and me and on the Friday night me and a mate are planning on going for a drink.

Despite xp having the dc every friday night, I rarely go out and so I am really looking forward to it.

My eldest dd currently seems unable to stop herself telling xp every detail of my life and so he now knows what I am going out.

When we were still together he hated me going anywhere and would hide my bank card, or go out himself at the last minute to stop me from going. Even after we split he would suddenly cancel seeing the kids if he knew I was going out.
He once even collected them, and then dropped them straight back because he thought I had a bloke coming round. I didn't.

So anyway, aibu to now drop into conversation with my kids, that I am not going out anymore, just having a take-away and dvd night with my mate ??
I hate lying to them but true to form xp has just been really arsey with me for no reason. This is what he always does in the run up to me going out, and then blows up on the actual day.

Aibu ??

Sorry, cocked first bit up.

YANBU really but if the kids find out how will you explain about lying?

Maybe just not tell them what you are doing when they go to their dads?

Your ex sounds a right prize .

no yanbu!

can you get a stand by babysitter, just in case he sees through your double bluff and still ruins your night??

You don't have to tell your children what you are doing when they are with their father, you are allowed to be you as well as their mother. I'd just say I was doing 'the usual' and leave it at that.

Not unreasonable at all. Your ex sounds like a twat.
Hope it all works out for friday night!

Fab - if the kids find out after the event then op just has to say she changed her mind/her friend arranges it as a surprise etc.
They wouldn't need to know she lied.

Wow.

Can't believe he's your ex. How did you let him get away?

Yanbu.

Hope you have a fab night.

Oh he is a very big twat.

I hadn't told them I was going out at all, but my mum knew and mentioned it in front of dd1, so xp will now know, infact I can tell he does lol.

I do have a back up babysitter, my mum would always have the dc here at mine but I really don't want to have to do that unless I absolutly have to, mainly because want to be able to come home drunk and fall asleep naked in the hall if I so choose. It is my birthday afterall lol.

Once the dc find out that I did actually go out, I will say that we just changed our minds at the last minute.

I know I don't have to tell him belle. I don't tell him, it's dd1 that does.

I try to be careful about the dc finding anything out about my life that I don't want xp to know, but it's hard. There always seems to be a pair of ears listening somewhere lol.

YANBU, I tell little white lies to my DC all the time. For example, they think right now I'm working form home.

But seriously, for your own sanity, you need to lead your children to believe you are not going out.

Thank's all

I am far more excited about it than is reasonable for my age lol, so I really don't want it ruined.

why does your DD1 tell him everything?
How old is she, sounds like theres some problem there.
Children need to understand ( at a certain age ) that mothers need time to themselves to do what they like, you are your own person aside from being a mother aswell.

he is a very very big TWUNT (I love that word ) Can you line up a babysitter who could come over just in case? I think I would rather go down that route than lie to my LOs. If no one can babysit though I would tell the lie. You deserve your night out. If your LO's find out you can just tell them that your plans changed at the last minute or that your mate insisted on taking you out for a birthday drink.

She is 12.

To be fair to her, when they go and see their dad he does absolutly nothing with them and so I think she just ends up chatting shit to him for something to say.

I have spoken to her about it before and I think she has tried to not do it as much.

My friend has to do the same. Her ex sounds like the twin brother of yours!

I would say your night is cancelled and enjoy it and have some fun

Also, xp does question the dc about me and I think they struggle to keep things to themselves when he is going on at them.

I have previously said to all three dc that what I do with my life now is absolutly nothing to do with their dad and that he should not be asking them to tell him things about me.

I do understand though that they might not want to lie when he is questioning them and so, it is easier then for me to lie to them.

lie....just say your plans have changed and your now stopping in. Rather than him putting the blockers on your night.

I understand wat u mean about your DC talking "shit" to him....cos I hav been known to do that to my own parents wen they've been questioning me over something.

If the DC find out later you went out, just tell them if was unexpected, after all.

Hav a bloody good night,...and i hope it's not too cold for you wen u fall asleep naked in the hall lol