to be concerned about my mother's spending

[Grace1706]

I have twin daughters aged 3 who are my parents' only grandchildren. My parents do not live locally, and my mum visits about once a month. Every time she comes she brings some sort of expensive present for the girls - often something totally inappropriate. She thinks nothing of spending a couple of hundred pounds a month on them, and at birthdays and Christmas she gets them more presents (by a long way) than my husband and I do.

We want to teach the girls to have a sensible attitude to money, and I think my mum is undermining this by buying them expensive presents all the time.

I've tried to talk to her about it, but she just doesn't see what the problem is and claims that she doesn't really spend that much anyway. She's made it perfectly clear that she thinks I'm being unreasonable. Am I?

I can understand her wanting to spoil her grandkids and don't think 3 year olds really have any attitude towards money. Will be a different matter when they get older - maybe your mother could start a university fund for them and put money there instead (and still buy present but cheap ones if she feels like it)

Yeah, maybe I am overreacting slightly. Part of the problem is that it feels a bit controlling - so much of their toys, clothes, etc. is stuff she's bought them, and I feel I'd like more say (and let them choose a bit more) what they wear/play with etc. I know she doesn't mean it that way, but it's how it comes across to me. I'm starting to dread her coming to visit because I'm worried about what sort of expensive rubbish she's going to bring with her.

The irony is, at this age they'd love the presents just as much if she bought them a few bits of cheap plastic tat from the pound shop.

Oh, and FWIW, I think YANBU. You may not be able to convince her of this, however, so it would seem your only option is to put your foot down and set some limits.

I think you should be grateful and enjoy the fact that she bothers to think of her grandchildren.
My little 6 year old received £20 in a card from all three grandparents for her Birthday, ok I guess but quite honestly she has no concept of what she can buy for £20 and it's hardly an exciting thing to arrive in the post is it ?
Maybe the novelty will wear off as the children get older but if not just think of all the money you are saving that you can spend on yourself.