The worst "friend" in the world?

[justonemorethen]

My ex work colleague is smart and funny and I thought a decent person. However after 2, penny pinching and excuse ridden years, she?s driving me mad.
I know that she when we first met she was poor. I lent her money (we?ve all been there) but her constant excuses drove me insane. Paid it back after a year of ?next week?, ?next payday? etc like it made it better. She borrowed my friends van to move house, a 10 mile round trip. After using it to drive all over the place all weekend she used 3/4 of tank of diesel (didn?t refill it) and finally failed to provide the "thank you" bottle of wine that she had kept banging on about giving him. That move cost him £30 and her nothing.
She specifically asked what my son (6th birthday)) wanted as a birthday present and said she?d buy it. She then didn?t give him anything (she?d had flu was the excuse). However still kept saying she was going to buy it until it was way too late to matter. I had to buy it for him myself in the end, as he had really wanted it.
I kept using her poverty as a valid reason for her behaviour but she now earns twice as much as me.
The latest was a dinner party she was desperate to host so she could meet my single friend. There were six of us. She asked us to contribute something. One guest brought the starter, my partner and I brought nibbles (olives, humus and crisps) AND two deserts. She did the main (Moroccan stew and rice) and provided ONE bottle of wine for all six of us. Even worse she didn't bring out the nibbles and failed to offer them back at the end of the evening (I asked for them back, Monday at work, she looked surprised and returned just the olives). She was quite happy to drink the wine everyone else brought (we brought 2 and luckily had a third in the car)
Now I've found out she's borrowed lots of money from a mutual work friend which she hasn?t repaid and she has others giving her food parcels and giving her gifts of money as they feel sorry for her.
I left work last week and she didn?t turn up to my do (re organised especially to ASK as you can get BOGOF )and despite usually phoning every night hasn?t rung since. She only owes me a fiver now but I?m more cross that she?ll get away with it and move on to the next sucker.
If I confront her she?ll make excuses and she often plays the "I didn?t realise? card. AIBU in wanting revenge!?

I think you should just chalk this one up to experience, forget the fiver and get on with your life.

You sound like a very nice, generous person. She doesn't. Try and take that as your comfort and just forget about her.

YABU. "neither a borrower or a lender be" is the phrase, I wouldn't lend something that I didn't mind not recieving back, a friendship is worth far more then a few pounds. It sounds like she's really crap with money or is having some problems to be honest, maybe you should ask her or advise he to go and see the CAB. Surly she gives you back more then just money??

YABU to want revenge. YANBU to be pissed off with her. But you needn't have anything to do with her again, so just let it go and forget about her.

YABU to want revenge. YANBU to be pissed off with her. But you needn't have anything to do with her again, so just let it go and forget about her.

Ooh, double post, sorry.

I think you just have tolet this one go

as you get older you realise some friendships are no longer worth investing in

I would thank yourself lucky that you can be rid of her now and don't think any more about it (easier said than done). If she tries to get in touch just ignore her. If revenge and confrontation is the only reason for contacting her again then forget it as you'll only end up frustrated and she seems like a pro at this game! Is there any other reason you can think of for keeping this person as a friend. No? Then live and learn and forget about it.

belledechocolatefluffybunny that was my thinking too, hence the TWO years of being a mate.
It's the denial that shes being rude really. Don't promise gifts or invite people to a dinner party if you can't afford to do it.We've had lots of conversations about her being rubbish with money but as I said she on twice whats she was at the begining has less outgoings and relies on everyone else to come to her with food and wine.
I don't know if shes on Mumsnet but maybe she'll get to read this...

She sounds like a right pain in the arse and you are probably well rid but the bit about asking for the nibbles back makes you sound very petty.

You have to think whether he other qualities are worth her being your friend. Maybe she had the best intention to buy your son a gift but it was beyond her means??

She does sound like a pain in the arse though, I'd either not lend her any more money or cut my ties. I wouldn't ask for things that I had borrowed her though, if it's taken you this long for her to repay you then you'll have a further wait.