Am I wrong?

[MazT]

I'm new here and would really appreciate your views, I'm a stay at home mum to three kids youngest is 2 and I've had a fallout with my husband because I asked for a joint bank account the only access to any money is my child benefit, I've always paid my way when I worked but now feel like a child if I have to ask for extra money for anything which I don't do often. He does pay all the bills, am I wrong on this?

I say no. Why won't he have a joint account?

Why doesn't he want one?

He says he only has a works account he set a business up a few years ago, he says when he starts making more money he will open us a joint one.

Does he think you'll spend all the cash?

Is he doing something dodgy, paying household bills out of a business account or something?

Tell us more. This is a bit of a dripfeed

For a long time DH did a regular standing order from his account into mine -- could you do that? Figure out what you think you need monthly, add 50%, and tell him to set it up asap.

so he's using his works acocunt to pay everything?

that's a bad idea from a tax point of view, anyway. they always recommend that self-employed people have a separate business account and pay themselves "drawings" so that they can keep a better track of business vs personal spending.

maybe tell him that?

it is a good idea to have a joint bank account, even if he never uses it.
because you never know when you might need it.
(and in the future if he starts putting into it, then it's already set up and ready to go)

i had a joint acocunt with my ex, and i was the only one that used it for transactiosn - i put money in it every month and then had dds for my share of the bills on it.
it was handy to see what was going out on bills, and it meant that i had a bit of a savings account, too, as i always put more in than went out.

He knows I won't bleed him dry I just don't think he wants me to see what money he has I think it upsets me because I see it as a trust issue that I'm his wife but he keeps things like this from me.

Unless you have form as a compulsive gambler or shopaholic, then I would say this is unacceptable. Presumably you are a SAHM by joint agreement, so at what point did you agree that you would be denied access to money, as you say, just like a child.
What century is he living in?

WHy does he think he can only do it when he is "making more money"? And how much exactly will that be? I bet he would never quite feel he was making "enough".

It is ridiculous to be a grown womwn in this day and age having to ask for money.

Unless he is trying to hide something.

I really don't know why he won't the whole thing just tires me out he hasn't spoken to me all day since I brought it up this morning. when he says he just has a business account that's what he might just be telling me he could have his own I wouldn't know that's what I mean about the trust thing. Thanks for all your replies ladies much appreciated.

YANBU.

Talk to him again and make it clear it isn't on.

Is it a deal breaker?

Maybe you could stop buying him anything with your money. Child benefit = child shopping maybe..

YA derinitely NBU. What is he hiding - is he spending on stuff he does not want you to know about? SAHPs are the equal of the working parent and should demand to be treated as such. YOu should either demand a joint account or a regular monthly payment into an account of your own.

And his business account should really only be for business transactions.

one family, one bank account IMO

Ditto with everything that Amothersplaceisinthewrong said!

It does sound like he is trying to hide something. My DH used to be quite secretive about money (and still can be at times), but my view is that it is the family income, therefore we need to be transparent about it so that both adults can be treated as such! We've got 3 current accounts - one joint account for bills and 1 each for spends (although they are non existent nowadays!!).

Good luck with getting the joint account!!