To wish newspapers/magazines would LET GO the whole perfect age to be a mother thing.

[laweaselmys]

I seem to start every weekend enraged because (yet again) I have been told that I am unfit and incompetent because of the single characteristic of how old I am and irrelevant of everything else...

I know I shouldn't read them. But I can't help it!

You answered your own question.
We all read them and guilt ourselves over it.
They are not going to drop it as long as we keep reading and reacting.

Notice there are no Perfect Fathering articles. Men don't internalise outside critiscism like we do.

Hear hear! YANBU!!!!! as a forty two year old who is TTC for first time - yah boo sucks to anyone who is a nay sayer!

There is no perfect age to be a parent. It gets on my wick as well.

just dont read it or if you do why let it affect you. i really dont care what people think so let them say what they want why should we be bothered, if you know your age is fine then its no-one else's business & i know good parents both 40+ & teenage so if i read it would just think what a load of crap. dont let yourself be enraged thats a bit much?

it's a load of nonsense isn't it? I know fantastic mums of all ages, from teens to 40s - there are advantages and disadvantages to any age - but there's so much more to a child's happiness than how old (either) parent is.

Chin up.

This is why IVF is evil, if a mans fertility went south when they hit 40, they would be trying to find a way to extend it, but with women they invented IVF years ago and left it at that. With IVF they have control and can say you are too old for treatment get lost, I really think this ageism for mothers stems from that.

Don't understand it the other way tho, the insults and hate aimed at teenage mums as if it's something un-natural, go back a few hundred years and most people where dead before they hit 30 anyway.

If you are able to have kids have em and this is not a third world country I'm sure a 70 year old would be able to have a child fine with our medical advancements.

I had first at 27, second at 39 and third at 46. Pros and cons with all 3 but they are all doing ok. No such thing as perfect age I agree with riven it depends what works best for you.

I had DD at 21. In RL I get lots of compliments from people who know me, and lots of judging from people who don't. I know it's the same for women at the older end.

I just wish newspapers wouldn't give the judgers so much ammo! Especially when it's ill-informed bullshit ammo.

The thing that always gets me is when people go on about being "selfish" to have a child when they are "old". (ie over 40)

The argument taken to its logical conclusion would suggest that it would be better for the child never to have been born than to suffer the indignity of having an older mother at the school gate, or for said mother to be less keen to "run around" or for the parents to be in their 60s when the child is at university.

Really? Better not to have been born in the first place?

Have a look at Andrew Billen's article in favour of 40+ mums in the Times today - that might help.

Although (and I say this as a 42 year old with very young children) I think he came across as a complete twat.

Yanbu.

I wish women of whatever age could be left alone to do what suits them and their circumstances when it comes to having a family and not be judged.

I also know exactly what you mean about beginning the weekends enraged! I cancelled my Times delivery a couple of weeks ago after getting more and more irritated with it, and my weekends have been lovely and calm, I honestly don't miss it.

That Andrew Billen article is a pile of judgemental tosh. So from his experience of parenting/being parented we now conclusively know what is the "right" age to become a mother? My children are wasted on me are they?

Note how men never come in for this kind of judgemental, spiteful bile.