to think that my "best" friends would rally round?

[morpheuscat]

Long story short?as so many new MNers have said! I am a 41 year old adoptee who 20 years ago tried to find my birth mother but came up against too much red tape and expense.

Having made contact with yet another an old school friend on Facebook at the weekend I went back on Friends Reunited to get up some old names of people I used to know. Couldn?t get into my old account but noticed they now have Genes Reunited.

Thought to self ?How about typing in the details of my birth mother and see what comes up?

This is the long story short bit?..have found my birth mother and that is a separate story but is going fairly OK at the moment.

On the day I got this information I texted (texted because she is always SO busy) one of my supposed best friends (who is one of my daughter?s godmothers) who found her birth father a few years ago, to ask her advice as to how to proceed and not heard anything back from her for 3 days and then last night got a text ?OMG ? been manic, will call you tomorrow?. Heard nothing today.

Am I being a drama queen and expecting everyone to suddenly rally round because I have huge news?

So, you glorious, funny and slightly scary bunch of women?AIBU to be bloody pissed off with my mate?!?

I would say be gentle with me but actually I realise you are all much more truthful and honest when you are being harsh!!!

YANBU though you are if you take it too badly. For a start, you dont know what's been going on with your friend - she might have had an equally big drama (emotional or otherwise) to deal with in her own life, which may or may not have occured to you.

If that's not the case, then you are def NBU for wanting a bit more support.

I can understand that your upset but maybe it would help to try and see it from her point of view. You said you had to text her in the first place because she's ?SO busy? you wouldn't get her otherwise. So maybe that means she's been thinking about calling you for 4 days now but can barely get her head around stopping to pee much less sitting down and having a serious conversation that she knows will require her full attention. It's also possible that your initial text didn't convey how intense/upsetting the situation is for you and how desperate you are to actually speak to her.

Why don't you try again & make sure to let her know that you really, really need to speak to her?

YANBU to want support, and I think that no matter how busy we are with day-to-day things, we should be there for a friend when something major happens - housework can wait, if that's the sort of thing keeping her busy. But could be that she does have something serious going on in her life. Personally, I would send a "hope everything is ok with you" text - it'll remind her that you haven't heard from her yet but gives her the opportunity to let you know if there is a problem.

If she's very busy, it is likely that she wants to make time to speak to you properly, and that time hasn't arisen yet. But 'OMG been manic' is a bit flippant - I'd have sent a message say - big news, pleased for you, will give you a call at the weekend when we can talk properly.

But if you texted her, it does, to me, suggest a might lighter tone than if you'd and left a voice message saying 'just need to speak as this has happened, and I'd like to talk about how you handled it'.

But I hate texts for anything more than 'still on for 10o'c today?' / running late type of messages. And given the number of posts on here about misunderstood texts, I think I may have a point!

Congrats on finding your birth mother, though - hope it goes well.

YABU

Thank you for replies - it is the trouble with texts, emails, posts etc that you can't always get the full story or picture about what has happened.

I appreciate you taking the trouble to give your opinion.

Will mull it over. Enjoy the sunshine!

I'm sure she really has been busy - and she probably doesn't want to phone you when she's only got 5 mins to spare because doubtless she knows that you need to have a bit of a heart to heart about it and doesn't want to call unless she has enough time for you.

Give her a quick ring yourself - ask her if she has a few minutes spare and say you're really anxious over the situation and desperate for some advice and help. AS you haven't called her back/again, she probably doesn't realise how fretful you are over it all.

Congratulations btw and hope it goes well from now on.