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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel sad I'm not broody for a fourth child?

21 replies

Disenchanted3 · 04/06/2010 19:55

I don't want one.

I have no urge to be pregnant, no desire to feel kicks in my tummy I don't even want to buy itty bitty clothes.

So why does that make me a bit ?!

Its like some part of me wants me to be broody so I want a child, if that makes sense.

Like I want to want to have aa 4th, but just can't make it happen!

OP posts:

letsblowthistacostand · 04/06/2010 19:57

Maybe you are broody and you just don't know it?

lovechoc · 04/06/2010 19:57

I'm stopping at two DC, and have no desire to be pg after this one pops out so I understand how you feel - not everyone wants to be pg constantly. don't worry

Whelk · 04/06/2010 19:58

Surely its a blessed relief?
I wish I didn't feel broody for number 3 as my rational thinking head says two just great!

HurleySatOnMe · 04/06/2010 19:58

Is someone close to you pregnant?
One of my close friends got pregnant a few months before me with her second dc. We had our first within a month of each other. It made me so broody it's untrue, and I was pg within 3 months
Now, she's pregnant with her third, and I have none of that envy or longing this time. I think because dd2 has been such a handful If she were an easy baby, and if I felt I had more time, I think I would^ be longing for another. It occurred to me today watching my two together that I have a year to concieve if I want the same age gap again, but it was more a jolt of realisation rather than want. My two are more than enough.

DanJARMouse · 04/06/2010 19:59

LOL

I feel the same. However much I think a 4th would be nice, I have absolutely NO desire to ever be pregnant again. I look at newborns and think ooooh how cute but NO! Never again!

BikiniBottom · 04/06/2010 20:00

Perhaps you are sad for leaving that stage of your life behind, a kind of grieving for the fertile days. A bit like the sadness when you say goodbye to your schooling days or some other finite period of life.

Personally I think you are lucky not to feel broody. There is no joy in feeling constantly broody when your family really needs to be complete.

Original poster

Disenchanted3 · 04/06/2010 20:01

No hurley, no body, nextdoor just had a baby and hes gorgeous.

Its like everythings there when i look at a baby, the 'awwwnesss', the reliving my babies when tiny... but theres no spark to ignite my baby fire! lol

OP posts:

PuzzleRocks · 04/06/2010 20:02

I am stopping at two and feel exactly the same.

I think BikiniBottom is right.

Original poster

Disenchanted3 · 04/06/2010 20:03

Yes it is a relief, I remember being incredibly broody after DS2 and it was such a hard descision to make having number 3.

But I always thought I would have 4.

So now theres 3 children, but part of me feels like theres 1 missing, but I have desire to make another.

Maybe it will happen in time, maybe it won't!

Its odd though, I haven't felt this way since about 17!

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 04/06/2010 20:05

Not a broody bone in my body.

Now that mine are school age/will be in school in August, it's hitting me how expensive they are.

Highland dance lessons, swimming lessons, football league, Beavers/Scouts.

And soon enough, all three of them will be involved in activities like this.

£££.

I'm nearly 40 and ready, really ready to work full-time and have a life that involves work. I miss work colleagues and banter at work and a job outside the home.

We waited until DS, our third, was one.

Then DH had the snip.

We're complete.

Elasticwoman · 04/06/2010 20:12

Disenchanted: it's called realising you are getting older, getting beyond the baby stage.
I can see why you might feel a bit sad, but there are reasons to be cheerful too.

lovechoc · 04/06/2010 20:15

IMO I don't get how people can feel sad about it - there's exciting stuff to lie ahead like your children becoming more independent. You don't need to go through sleepless nights anymore once they are older, no feeding to do, no nappies to change etc. What's not to like about moving on with your life??
I'd have a feeling of dread in the bottom of my stomach if I found out I was expecting for a third time tbh. I just feel I'd never get out the bit with nappies. I want to move on and do other things in life after having the two DC. I'd hate to go through another pregnancy - it's just too stressful.

Original poster

Disenchanted3 · 04/06/2010 20:18

But I love the nappy changes, the night feeds, the tiny sicky little bibs after feeds... it isn't a chore to me, its one of the happiest times of each of my childrens lives

OP posts:

ProfYaffle · 04/06/2010 20:18

I think Bikini's right. I always wanted 2 dc, have now got 2 dc. dh has had the snip. dd2 turned 3 earlier this year and, for me, reaching the end of the baby stage for good has been a huge relief.

However ....

There's still a tiny pang of grief that we're leaving that stage of our lives behind. We'll never again have that new baby whirlwind of euphoria and exhaustion.

(Thank fuck )

lovechoc · 04/06/2010 20:21

We all have different perspectives on it. Doing it twice is enough in one lifetime for me thanks

I'd say just enjoy the three you have for now and see how you feel in 6 months time as to whether you want to expand your family numbers.

Northernlurker · 04/06/2010 20:22

I'm not broody either and having been incredibly broody for dd3 that is a bit odd. After she was born it was like a switch was flicked. Of course another baby would always be welcomed but I would be horrified and distressed to find myself up the duff. Especially as dh has had the snip
My best friend had a baby last year - gorgeous but no broodiness here. My sil had one too and everyone at church is pregnant - still no broodiness. Today I turned out all the kids clothese and had a big sort out - baby stuff included - not a smidgin of broodiness.

As long as it doesn't hit me in 3 years I'll be fine If it hits I'll be getting a kitten

lovechoc · 04/06/2010 20:22

ProfYaffle you took those words out of my mouth (the 'thank f**k bit).

Original poster

Disenchanted3 · 04/06/2010 20:24

Northern, I just got a kitten

OP posts:

lovechoc · 04/06/2010 20:27

I personally couldn't cope with being sleep deprived any more than the twice. I'm psyching myself up for it already and it's not even happened the second time (til next month!). If I was to do it a third time I'd be tipped right over the edge and be having a nervous breakdown me thinks. Other people seem to cope splendidly with lack of sleep but I'm not one of those so would be daft to do it a third time.

I do take my hat off to those who go through it time after time though.

ProfYaffle · 04/06/2010 21:24

It's not so much the lack of sleep with me but I find coping with the conflicting needs/chatter/noise of 2 children is more than enough. I'd be an awful mother if I had any more.

Having thought about this thread since I last posted I think the sentiment is nostalgia. Nostalgia for a happy time but also acknowledging the hard work not wanting to necessarily re-live that time.

sterrryerryoh · 04/06/2010 23:11

I don't think I've EVER been broody!

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