To be annoyed with friend??

[ChunkyMonkeysMum]

A friend of mine is always saying "we must get together, have a night without the kids" etc etc. So about 3 weeks ago I asked her to let me know when her & her DH could get a babysitter and come to us for dinner. She came back to me with a date, this coming Saturday. She said she was really looking forward to it.

I text her at the beginning of the week asking if they were still ok for Saturday. No reply.

I sent her a FB message asking if she got my text and asking her to please confirm everything ok for Saturday as I would need to get some bits in and Thursday morn would be my last opportunity as working rest of week.

Still nothing!

She has always been a bit "flaky" TBH, and has admitted this herself, cancelling play dates at last min, but this time seemed really keen to get together and really excited about a kid free evening, cocktails etc.

She has been on FB and has updated her status in the last couple of days, so I would assume that everything is ok her end, no probs with the kids (always know when there is as she mentions it in her status updates).

So AIBU to be annoyed that she hasn't even bothered replying? I wouldn't be annoyed if they can't come for whatever reason, just confirmation one way or the other would be nice.

YANBU. Call her, instead of texting.

on the surface I'd say YANBU.......however,

Are you SURE she got the text. I sent 3 texts in the last 24hrs to a friend of mine............one of them while sat next to her as a test, and none of them arrived (a 4th one did arrive though) and I suspect a few other texts I've sent last few days are hanging around in a text cemetery somewhere after getting lost on route

Could you not have phone her to check (obviously a bit late now?)

I would but she never answers her phone which is why I text or try to catch her online on FB. She has twins (19 months) and seems only to be able to chat when they're in bed, after 9pm as this is when she always calls me.

FB her and tell her that if you don't hear from her then you'll have to cancel? Nothing worse than putting yourself to a lot of effort just to get pissed off and disappointed when you can be pissed off and disappointed with no effort expended!

TBH, it sounds like she's maybe not that interested.

Sorry..

I did wonder about the texts which is why I sent her the FB message on yesterday morning. I know from her status update that she has been on FB since I sent her the message so would have seen it.

She did this to another friend of hers and deliberately didn't contact her because she didn't want her friend to be pissed off with her for cancelling an arrangement, so she didn't bother to contact her to tell her, then she felt she couldn't contact her in case of conflict over not contacting her IYKWIM? I told her then she was being silly and it would have been much better if she'd just been honest and said she couldn't go.

DSM, normally I'd be the first to agree with you on any other post like this, but she is always the one saying we must get together. She is, for some reason, just one of those people who consistently lets others down without meaning to because she's too scared about having to cancel an arrangement so it's "easier" to ignore it.
I think I'll send one more message tomorrow just saying it's ok, I understand if you can't make it, just please let me know.

In that case, don't bother. Make the assumption she's not coming.

If she turns up, either don't answer the door, or tell her you have other plans due to her non RSVP.

Invite someone else round and have a lovely evening.

I would message her and tell her you are disappointed she hasnt replied and you will make other plans as you want to enjoy your precious child free plans.

I have friends that do this- distance yourself until she bucks her ideas up.

It's just bloody irritating!!

Wanna come round for a few cocktails??!

Think I might find myself on the buddy bench on Saturday night at this rate!! Lol.

did you inbox her on fb, just because I dont always check mine due to annoying club night invitation overload? maybe she is the same?

put a message as a comment to her status. Then you'll know she'll have seen it?

Yes I did inbox her, but I also sent her an instant message when she was online. Surely she'd have received at least one of these messages?!

And tell her you are pissed off! don't be all nice about it otherwise that proves to her that this really is the best way to avoid conflict!

Nagoo - think I will do that in the morning. Thanks.

hmm methinks she is ignoring you, sorry that sucks! :-(

She has finally replied this morning saying "sorry not replied sooner, we would still love to, what time?".

ooo she sounds a bit like me.

I'm always saying to people I'd love to get together/go out/meet up with people, but never seem to manage to arrange stuff myself.

And I'm bloody awful at remembering to reply to emails/texts/fb messages etc (it's not deliberate I promise)

That's the thing tocca, I know she's like this, that's why I knew she wasn't deliberately trying to avoid me because she didn't want to come. It's just frustrating when you need to go shopping for the event and only have a limited time to do it.