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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to assume that all first time posters posting controvercial or complicated threads are trolls?

51 replies

wannaBe · 02/06/2010 13:35

Because IMO at the moment anyone who has a low post count and is posting controvercially is probably a troll.

And I don't believe mn hq can't do anything about it.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 02/06/2010 13:37

it's getting that way, isn't it?
what do you think they can do? They can ban a certain email address (and I think they should if they're not) but what else can be done? I'm wracking my brains.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 02/06/2010 14:02

I don't want to start to think like that.

Because it might be a namechanger. Also, if someone has a really bad / disturbing / distressing / just plain odd situation that they are desperate for advice for and have nobody in rl to turn to - then it is entirely reasonable that they might turn to the net. MN is a big thing. Lots of people. So it's not good to make that assumption.

I would rather waste a few minutes of my time on a troll than to tear into a vulnerable person who is desperate for help just because I have decided that their problem cannot possibly be real because I don't think it is. I'm not that arrogant.

Of course, you use your common sense. You don't give out details that you are not happy to have out on the WWW where anyone in the world can see them. You don't reach into your pocket for every sob story. You don't take it upon yourself to save every stranger. In short, don't invest so heavily.

Give advice if you feel able to do so, give support if you feel able to do so, report to MN if you feel it's a con, don't reply if you feel it's not in your best interests.

But let's move away from leaping on every first time poster with a strange problem.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 02/06/2010 14:03

oh - I know you are not suggesting we OUGHT to leap on them but I have noticed that that reaction is becoming very common on mn and I think it's wrong.

StealthPolarBear · 02/06/2010 14:32

but it's natural not to want to be a sucker Hecate and while I agree with you I don't think we're ever going to get to that situation - people are always going to be outraged when a troll is unmasked, and then quick to shout troll for the next few threads they see that don't quite ring true

Ezma · 02/06/2010 14:33

It's a difficult one. I've posted a few times now here and there on different threads but I've definitely noticed from reading other threads that there are more trolls or accusations of people being trolls if their problem is really weird sounding/ unusual. I think it soon becomes apparent that someone is a troll once more posts come on to a thread and you can see how the OP reacts to them. I go with Hecate in that if a problem seems genuine (e.g. I thought the incest one last week was for real) then it's worth giving it the benefit of the doubt for a short while. I would feel awful if someone with a genuinely bad situation couldn't post on here for fear of getting pasted/flamed instead of the support and advice that they perhaps need. I suspect, however, the problem is only going to get worse with the summer hols coming up....

smallones · 02/06/2010 14:44

If I had a complicated or unusual problem, the last place I would discuss it would be MN, as I'm sure I'd be flamed for being a troll.
Weird things happen in life, quite often, you hear of problems that no-one could make up.
It's a shame to assume that all 1st time posters with complicated stories are trolls, as there may be someone who genuinely needs help and advice, who gets flamed because of past trolls.

SixtyFootDoll · 02/06/2010 14:45
Biscuit
nickelbabe · 02/06/2010 14:45

i always assume the poster is genuine.

even if it seems far fetched - because there are problems like that out there, and even if taht particular thrread is fake, it might still help someone in that situation.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 02/06/2010 14:47

Do you want a cup of tea with that, Sixty?

SixtyFootDoll · 02/06/2010 14:49

Milk two sugars, thanks.
I am a crap troll spotter.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 02/06/2010 14:51

I hope you are going to share. I'm not making tea for someone who is only offering the one biscuit.

lamplighter · 02/06/2010 14:52

I've spotted a couple of very obvious ones and it has made me very distrustful. I steer clear now.

SixtyFootDoll · 02/06/2010 14:54

Iofered carrot cake yesterday and no one wanted any, I ate it all and felt sick afterwards.

StealthPolarBear · 02/06/2010 14:55

i made a practice run at DD's christening cake yesterday, a proper cake with icing and everything
It's 1/4 gone - I'm being very restrained

Ezma · 02/06/2010 14:57

I'm crap at spotting trolls too, often miss out on the whole thing. One thing I do know is, I am a terrible rambler but when I have posted problems on here that I couldn't discuss in rl with the same honesty and get frank advice/ comments on what at the time seems an awful problem, the advice/ support etc I've had from other MNers has been brilliant. I'm sure I make some hideous faux pas on here and still don't know half the acronyms!

maduggar · 02/06/2010 14:57

Ive had to name change to post a delicate issue. Id probably be seen as troll if I did that now, so sadly Id just not post and have to deal with it alone Im sure that it would be the same for a number of other regulars.

Ezma · 02/06/2010 14:58

Stealth, can I have some of the icing please?

StealthPolarBear · 02/06/2010 14:59

please do. I showed it to DH, all proud, and he said "I don't like icing, can we just have a plain one please"
Truth is I'm not that bothered about the icing either - love the marzipan/icing thing on frui9t cakes but this is just OK.

Ezma · 02/06/2010 15:04

Ctealth, sounds like a match made in heaven as I don't like marzipan! . I'm one of those annoying people that will pick off the marzipan just to eat the icing and then eat the fruit cake. V. impressed you made it from scratch though. I cheated and ordered one for my DS's christening which I then "decorated" myself rather badly!

maduggar, yes, it's a shame people can't name change without the troll accusation. tbh, I've pretty much aired all my dirty laundry (not in the literal sense I hasten to add it's usually very clean) under my usual name on here so unless I really had got something really embarassing/ awful to discuss.

pigletmania · 02/06/2010 15:04

YABU someone might genuinly need advice or have namechanged for that post in case of identifucation

Ezma · 02/06/2010 15:06

I will finish that post properly rather than being distracted by thoughts of carrot cake and icing....

what I meant to say was that I would probably post under usual name unless I thought it was something on which I was going to get really flamed or just too delicate to post under usual name.

there, back to thoughts of icing and a cup of tea methinks.

lamplighter · 02/06/2010 15:14

I saw a website forum of guys planning on trolling MN - it was awful they targeted the relationship section. It was 'jokes' about 'he left you because you got fat' etc.

Really nasty stuff

HecateQueenOfWitches · 02/06/2010 15:18

I feel sorry for them. I've just said it on another thread - I'd rather be the nice person being laughed at by pricks than be the prick doing the laughing.

There is nothing wrong with being a caring, compassionate person - even over the net . There is a lot wrong with treating people with contempt.

RedRedWine1980 · 02/06/2010 15:21

You are not only being unreasonable but idiotic. Sorry but this 'ooh they MUST be a troll' is really off putting and hostile to any newcomers and what gives this particular board a worse reputation than it needs to.

SongBiird · 02/06/2010 15:28

YABU on many first posters don't realise the types of conversations that mners see as controversial. My first post was deemed controversial and I was utterly shocked at the reaction I got, but after jumping in at the deep end I soon got a grip of how to phrase things.

I think it's becoming a bit nasty, where as soon as something is deemed controversial you start getting the "trip trap" comments and people starting to dig into the op's comments and profile trying to search out inconsistencies. It's mean.