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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have thought i was capable of choosing my own food in a restaurant?

75 replies

booyhoo · 01/06/2010 23:23

in a restaurant for lunch yesterday with OH. the waiter addressed all questions to OH including what i would like to order!!! throughout the meal he hovered about and asked OH if everything was ok with the food. i answered that it was. he still didn't look at me or acknowledge me. only when he came to ask how OH was paying and i told him that i was paying by card did he look at me. however even as i was entering my PIN he completely ignored me and talked only to OH about his plans for the day. i have never been treated so badly in a restaurant. i was totally shocked that someone can get away with treating customers like that. needless to say, i did not tip.

OP posts:
bamboobutton · 02/06/2010 08:47

my mum and dad accidently went to one of those v.expensive, fancy restaurants in paris where the ladies menu has no prices and the man does the ordering.

mum chose her food based on dads facial expressions and paling complexion

slug · 02/06/2010 09:41

Has happened to me a few times. The worst one was where DH didn't order my food as, obviously, I am capable of ordering for myself. The waiter only wrote down DH's order. He totally ignored everything I said. He repeated back DH's order and I piped up "And....(my order repeated)" DH repeated my order as well. When the meal came out, it was only what DH had ordered. It was bonkers, it was like I had ceased to exist. I wondered what he thought was sitting inthe chair opposite DH, a ghost? I can't have been that hard to miss, I had a pram parked next to me with a 6 week old DD sleeping angelicly. All the waitresses were cooing at her as they manouevered past.

Mechanics are the bane of my life. I had, in my student days, a moped. I loved that bike, it got me everywhere cheaply. It did, however, have a kink in the accelerator cable whih would get caught periodically causing it to rev out of control. I'd have to take it into a garage and get the cable unkinked. It was amazing how many mechanics would suck their teeth, quote all sorts of problems, while I would stand there saying, "It's a kink in the accelerator cable". I would very specifically point this out and write it down on the worksheet. Almost inevitably I would be presented with a bill for lots of investigation work and, at the end, would be "repair kink in accelerator cable". I would routinely refuse to pay for the extra work as I had not authorised it, had specifically told them not to do it (and was perfectly capable of doing it myself anyway) and had written confirmatin that the kink was the only thing I wanted fixed. However, if the BF, who was a mechanical engineering student took it in, the knik would be the only thing fixed, no questions asked. I used to get my jollies hauranging the mechanics on how the absence of a y chromosome does not inevitably mean absence of mechanical knowledge.

lisianthus · 02/06/2010 09:57

Oh my, BecauseI'mWorthIt - that would have lost them the pension business from me there and then.

TheBride · 02/06/2010 10:21

bamboobutton- the etiquette is that the person who makes the reservation receives the menu with the prices on as it is assumed that they are paying and they want their guest to choose what they'd like, regardless of cost. It's not a man/woman thing.

Similarly, the wine list should always be given to the person who makes the reservation.

However, ignoring orders etc is just plain weird.

ProfYaffle · 02/06/2010 10:32

I had similar with NPower on the phone the other day. They rang asking me to read our meter (which they've never done before) but I couldn't open the meter door without a special key which the meter reader normally brings with him.

Person on phone says "Shall I ring back when you've been to B&Q to buy a key"

Me: " no, how about you send a meter reader out?"

Them: "(equally ) Shall I ring back when your husband's at home?"

Me: " he doesn't have special key shaped fingers you know, he's no more capable of opening it than I am. How about you send a meter reader out?"

Them: " Well I could ...."

Me:

RunawayWife · 02/06/2010 10:32

How very rude.

scanty · 02/06/2010 10:41

you might have been right to leave it to the end to make your point though. Don't want them adding a little extra 'something' to your food cause you tore him off a strip!

MollieO · 02/06/2010 10:43

My pet hates are ordering wine and then watching as the sommelier gives it to a man to try (I ordered it so surely I should taste it). Same when I'm paying and have asked for the bill - nine times out of ten it is given to the man.

When I bought my first new car I took my dad along to the garage to help negotiate. He said nothing the entire time (despite one of his jobs being to negotiate fleet purchases for his company). When the deal was signed he said he felt sorry for the salesman to have encountered someone as tough as me . Salesman did okay though as a friend of mine bought the same car (on my recommendation) from him the next week!

thumbwitch · 02/06/2010 11:17

I have to admit, apart from in Italy, if I have ordered the wine (which I normally do as DH always defers to my choice) then the sommelier has always offered it to me to taste - I would be so cross if it wasn't!

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 02/06/2010 11:26

"He doesn't haved key shaped fingers"

Ha!

bamboobutton · 02/06/2010 11:34

thebride- they didn't make a reservation, they liked the look of the place and just wandered in.

mumbar · 02/06/2010 11:44

God I am wetting myself at this thread - altho not sure it's that funny

Can't say I've experienced this as when I lived abroad everyone talked to me to admire DS on my lap as blonde and pale was different.

Now I'm a single mum I on't get it but maybe need to be prepared for the day they talk to DS instead of me

BH YADNBU

SolidGoldBrass · 02/06/2010 11:49

I think in this case the waiter may have been one of that minority of gay men who really, really don't like women. IE he fancied your husband and disliked you because you were stopping your husband from having sex with said waiter over the table, just by your presence...
But it would drive me batshit too.

ImSoNotTelling · 02/06/2010 11:54

slug at that restaurant

where was it? what did you do when one meal arrived?

JaneS · 02/06/2010 12:07

at this thread.

This pisses me off too. Esp. when I've handed the waiter my card and he still hands it back to DP. How hard is it to read a (woman's) name on a card anyway?

One time DP got handed the card machine for my card (which I had got out of my bag in front of the waitress), and she asked him if he wanted to add a gratuity as he could put it on the card bill. DP replied that he couldn't possibly add extra money as it wasn't his card.

I thought he was rather good.

thumbwitch · 02/06/2010 12:09

Slug - also at that restaurant - do name and shame so it can be avoided!

Love and FGS at your mechanic story - I do remember getting one over on mechanics once: my car had two horns, one either side of the engine. Only one was functioning - I replaced the fuse and it blew again, next time I used the horn. THe mechanics tried to tell me both horn units needed to be replaced - I told them to only replace the busted one as no doubt that was the one causing the fuse to blow. They hummed and hawed but only replaced the one horn unit (the busted one) and guess what! It solved the problem! Ha.

StealthPolarBear · 02/06/2010 12:11

at slug and BIWI
I also want to know what happened when the meal arrived??
lol at key shaped fingers!

StealthPolarBear · 02/06/2010 12:15

I once had a courtesy car when my car was being fixed, a brand new Fiat Brava. I picked it up and drove it back to work, pulled into a parking bay. At the end of the day I went to reverse out only to fnd I could not get the thing into reverse. I called them up and got told "You just have to push the gearstick down".
"I've tried that, not doing it"
"Well there's be a little collar on the stick which you have to pull up"
"Thought of that, no collar" (I was more polite, this is the gist)
They then suggested I get a man to confirm!! I managed to find someone left at work who luckily was a friend and confirmed that no, it wouldn't go into reverse, and then helped me push it out of the bay in the pouring rain so I could drive it back to the garage, having no idea where it was and not able to pull in anywhere unless I could drive out forwards

ItsGraceAgain · 02/06/2010 12:37

God, this hasn't happened to me for ages - I think I exude Scary Woman vibes!! My best (worst) was, just after leaving uni. I was the credit controller for a company that had a lot of bad payers.

My reminder letters were signed "Ms. Grace Again, Credit Controller". We did get lots of phone calls asking for "Mr. Again" but one day a very irate customer came in person. I went down to see him. He shouted me down, yelling "I want to talk to a man!". Luckily, the warehouse assistant - a teenage boy - was passing. I called him over and said to the customer, "Gary is our box boy. He is a man. I am the woman who manages the accounts. Which of us would you prefer to speak to?"

I can't remember what happened then, except that the whole shop was in fits of laughter.

JaxTellersOldLady · 02/06/2010 12:50

I was buying a car many years ago - I do know a bit about cars (thanks Dad) but the whole time the salesman was talking to my DH who was then bf... and couldnt drive.

I ended up saying to the salesman - Mr Jax does not hold a licence, he isnt interested in cars, would not like to test drive said car and I am the one with the money, the one who wants to buy a new car not him. I am also the one asking questions. Either speak to ME or find me a sales LADY who will.

Meanwhile DH was almost wetting himself laughing.

I was a bit rude, but I was only about 21ish and totally pissed off.

StealthPolarBear · 02/06/2010 12:51

what did he say?

slug · 02/06/2010 12:52

Cafe Rouge in Greenwich. Twas a few years ago now so I doubt the waiter is still there.

My feminist rants are legendary. DH just sinks into his chair and quivers till I'm done. I also have years of experience in teaching stroppy adolescent boys so I can issue withering put downs in a voice that, while not loud, can be heard in every corner of a large room Suffice to say the manager cottoned onto what was happening and issued me with food pronto and free.

I think he worked out that he should never ignore a lactating, hormonal post partum woman ever, ever again.

thumbwitch · 02/06/2010 13:07

well done slug!

StealthPolarBear · 02/06/2010 13:07

did the waiter sulk?

nicm · 02/06/2010 13:12

booyhoo! how rude! was this pizza place in belfast by any chance?

i received the worst ever service in a pizza place there the other week, it was close to victoria square but not in it.