I really do not know if i am being silly or not here, so just need a reality check (not a stoning lol).
My Ds is 2.5 and my dd is 8mo.
Their gp's (dp's parents) make no effort with them ever. Never bother to see them. When ds was littler they only wanted to see him on his own (never wanted us around) and once they gave ds a red brick to teeth on at about 9mo, and a broken lightbulb in a tupperwear box to play with as a rattle at about 10mo. So we put the foot down at the alone contact. I understand they might have been offended, but it was, imo, for his own safty. We still visited and invited them over though, to visit as a family - but even that has changed, they always have an excuse not to visit.
Last week we invited them over and when they came in, my ds actually asked ' Who's that'? I felt so bad as they should have a relationship, but it seems that they are not interested in a relationship with us and i'd prefer we built one up, and built trust up again, before we leave our dc's there.
I have asked them over, asked dp's mum out to get our hair done, asked her to come shopping, so i have been making effort.
I don't know how i should be feeling. I feel sorry that my ds had to ask who they were, and it probably is my fault for saying i'm not leaving them alone there. BUT i don't feel safe leaving them, and really want to have an adult relationship with them too.