AIBU to expect ds1 to have done a couple of gcse past papers while I've been at work

[eatyourveg]

Don;t know whether to scream or cry. Dh has taken ds2 and ds3 away for the week to give ds1 a chance to revise. Exams start monday for 2 weeks solid. 12 papers to get through.

I left for work suggesting he did a french reading and responding paper (comprehension) and left it on the table with a french dictionary. It is meant to take one hour

I also left a biology paper also a one hour job along with a revision guide and his text book.

Left for work at 9.15 got back at 3. french he said was boring and he managed 3 words. Biology he had answered about half looking up all the answers on the internet! He did a paper yesterday and got a C but I worked through it with him and we looked up a couple of answers.

Have work again tomorrow, should I bother leaving out any work?

If the motivation just isn't there, it will be impossible. Come up with a revision timetable with him with lots of breaks and diversions between, never studying for more than 45 mins at a time.

Agree with Scurry. Also I don't believe in nagging kids to revise for GCSE. DS is doing the bare minimum and if he falls flat on his face, then he's learned a valuable lesson. He's cocky because he got straight As in the mocks without revision but he may well find the real thing a lot harder.

You won't be there leaning over your ds at university so you really have to step back and let him do it himself.

I don't think you should be leaving work out for him. You should be trying to get him to understand that revision will help him get better marks, and better marks means he has more choices of what to do next with his life.

If that hasn't sunk in yet, then you may just have to bite your tongue until he works it out for himself. Teenagers unfortunately think they know better than you, so you can't do it for them and you can't make them do it. You just have to hope they spot the connection before too long!

There does come a time when they have to do it for themselves. Offer to test him when you get home (and be cheery about it and don't moan).

I'm a great believer in treats/bribery for people that work hard such as buying them their favourite fattening cake or going out for a pizza after a good day of hard work at home. I think that the promise of a treat is worth working for. I was once asked if I would go to work if I wasn't paid. ie:they need "payment" for working).

My boys have three school years between then and the youngest is doing his A levels in a few days time. I've had six years of every summer on study leave (enough now!).

I meant non-monetary payment. I don't believe in actually money changing hands. I have heard of £100 per A* at GCSE!

There will become a time when he'll do it himself, but unfortunately you'll have to stand over him if you want him to do what you want.

YANBU to expect an adult to complete the papers, but he's not, he's a 15/16 year old child.

Has he got any coursework you could look over? If you're that concerned that the school he's in isn't providing for him educationally, maybe get a tutor in?

Oh and btw, bribery does not work. He has to do it for its own reward.

Do not give up! It is really important to keep on expecting him to work/make an effort/care. I know it's tempting let them fall fall flat on their faces, but it's much more annoying to believe you could have done more but didn't. 16 is not 17 is not 18, and boys mature a lot in those years. At 16 they still need a lot of encouragement and yes, some sort of stick and carrot, to keep them on track imo.
Are you doing obvious stuff like hiding the computer games/wii/mobile etc? Remove the temptations, and demand proof he has done what you've asked him so he can be rewarded when you get back with some gorgeous snacks/treats and an hour or so on his games (or whatever he likes).
Be a pushy parent!

Do you have a scary friend who could stare at him until he does something? I did this for a friend when her son was behaving exactly the same as yours. It probably helps that I'm a teacherm have taught GCSE Maths and have known him since he was a baby.

Poor boy had to complete a paper while I stared at him. I then went through it with him, pointing out that he was currently sitting on a grade D. We then identified where he could gain marks easily (i.e. forget the trig) and did another one.

We did the same with an English paper or two. In the course of one day we managed to get him at least thinking about the important stuff. He got Cs for English and Maths in the end. I will admit this had nothing to do with my teaching, but more to do with the fact that

a) I can be quite scary when the mood takes me

b) He knows full well he can't get away with anything when I'm around (I threatened to show his mates pictures of him in his nappies ) and

c) He was a bright enough kid anyway, just terminally laid back.

No wii or playstation - yes I know, we live in the dark ages here. I have lost count the number of times we have taken the lead out of the computer and put all the instruments in the garage.

I know all the stuff about leading a horse to water but have always convinced/conned myself into thinking that the problem is that he actually doesn't know how to revise.

At the end of March we sat down together to work out a revision timetable and he went through each subject telling me if he thought he needed more or less sessions of it. We had about 3 weeks of a positive work ethic.

So I bought him post it notes index cards He hasn't touched them so I emailed him up some bitesize tests which he would duly complete and let me know the result, if we spoke about revising it ended in shouting so since then I have kept my cool albeit I have a very sore lip from all the biting.

Coursework is done and dusted and the teachers have indicated that he should secure decent marks. I think he might be placing too much emphasis on this. Maybe I should go back to emailing bitesize/s-cool tests up to him but he can't get a decent grade on them alone

Last night we watched half of rain man after we did the biology paper. I have told him we will watch the other half when we have gone over todays biology. I have cooked a favourite pudding today which is the bribe for doing a bit more on the french paper. Hope it works

Sounds like you are doing your very best. It's almost (but not quite) as bad as doing them yourself. Let's face it, revision is very boring but be grateful for coursework. In my day it was all on the exam.

"Doesnt know how to revise".

You may have hit the nail on the head, revision methods need to be taught to most kids.

I actually had no idea how to revise and have had to ask some academic friends to help me help my ds.

Good luck.

i used to nag my DC's, but realised that they have to learn the consequences themselves, they cant wing it!
he'll be fine. my DD and i had a massive screaming match shortly before her AS levels where she told me that unless i stopped nagging and interfering and reminding her, she wasnt going to do a bloody thing.
so i stopped, and she started revising.
my DD is very reverse psychology when it comes to revision, if you nag her, it puts her off, has to be on her own time

Britfish, that's exactly what ds is like. He knows perfectly well he has to get at least 7 A/A* and the rest Bs as he wants to do medicine.

The more I remind him to revise the more irritated he gets. He does revise when he needs to and gets good grades but really resents me sticking my oar in.

I recognise the bitten lip syndrome!

its odd isnt it? but it makes sense, im exactly the same!