mother in law travelled a very long distance (yorkshire to near london) for the day yesterday to see (primarily) our three week old and our 18 month old.
I really appreciate the effort she went to to come all that way, she bought gifts and was nice and chatty to me.
But she is fairly old school and either she thinks she is being diplomatic and not interferring by "leaving" both children with me or she thinks it is a right of passage, she had to go through it so so should I and sometimes I detect a bit of "standing back and judging" me.
Things my husband has told me make me think that although she was a very organised and conscientious mum and what she says suggests she likes children, infact her main concern was that the house was spotless at all times.
Anyway after a few cuddles with both children when my 18 month old went down for a nap she and my son went out in the garden aand next thing i knew she was calling thro the window to me "we are going to do some weeding, you don't mind do you?". I said no ddon't mind except that i didn't want her to feel obliged to do it. An hour and three quarters later they are still doing weeding, my daughter has woken and I call out the front door to my husband (with my daughter in my arms) "are you coming in for a drink" which was half saying "i need your help now both kiddies are up and little one wants feeding again". MIL was there. My husband ssays we will be in in a minute, but 25 minutes later they both come in, meanwhile I have been trying to entertain both children in our bedroom so as not to disturb MIL's partner who was sitting in the living room. Husband acts a bit frosty towards me - paranoid side of me thinks that even if she didn't say anything to him the message was "let your wife get on with it, it is her job". As soon as MIL leaves husband changes to being "nice" to me again. Overall made to feel uncomfortable in my own home. The next day (today) thinking it is all must me being hormonal and a bit emotional (only 3 weeks since the birth) or if not that, that iit is minor, we only see MIL about twice a year and I should ignore it, there was no confrontation with MIL so no harm done. Whether I should take it up with my husband is another matter. Am i being unreasonable / hormonal?