...to feel a little bit disappointed in my friend?

[YouChoose]

I have just looked after a friend's children for the last three nights (from 6pm Friday-5pm Monday) whilst they went away for a long weekend. She's not a particularly close friend, I've known her for just over a year, sometimes I see quite a lot of her, but since last December I've only seen her twice. We have children of similar ages who get on quite well.

I made a flippant offer to have the children for this time about a year ago, but no more came of it. When we last spoke about it, her parents had agreed to have them. At the last minute her parents had to back out as her dad was ill. So she asked me, I agreed, no problems.

So, I haven't had the easiest weekend. My husband is away at the moment, so I'm by myself at home with my two children. Both of her children were quite homesick, so bedtimes weren't easy. One of the children woke up at least once every night. They got up early, and in doing so woke up my youngest who normally sleeps late. I let my eldest go downstairs and watch TV for a couple of hours before I get up usually. As a result I've been up at 5am for the last 3 days. We've had a really full busy weekend, for which my friend left money to cover her kids expenses. I obviously fed them out of my own pocket, and provided masses of drinks and snacks.

There has been the offer of a reciprocated weekend if I ever needed it, but TBH I would never leave my children with somebody who didn't know them that well. Nothing wrong with leaving kids per se, but I'd leave mine with my parents or my MIL, and would probably have cancelled the weekend rather than leave them with a friend rather than v.close friend of the family or family.

So... all things considered, (and thanks for getting to the end of all this) would you have turned up to pick your children up completely empty handed? I gave back the money left over from their spending money, and had accounted for every penny so hadn't taken any extra. I truly expected a massive bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates. Perhaps even to be asked what perfume I'd like from the duty free. I got nothing but a thankyou. AIBU to be disappointed, or is it just me that would have bought flowers for a couple of hours childcare, never mind three nights?

If it was me (and I'm not great at social etiquette on thank you gifts) I WOULD NOT have turned up emtpty handed, having read your full original post.

I think you've been an absolute star stepping in at the last minute for her, even though you had offered a year ago to do it in passing. The fact you did do it and with 2 children of your own to look after and with your H away is a big deal. YANBU to feel a bit diappointed to not get anything for a thank you.

No SquigletPie It is the title of the book on the table next to me!

Am sure the offer to reciprocate is genuine. But obviously I was not her first choice, her parents were, just as she would not be mine. I suppose the difference is that although I might ask her to look after my children for a few hours during the day, I would never ask her to have them overnight. But that's fine, I didn't expect reciprocation.

Butterbur - I'd have expected flowers and an offer of a school run if I ever needed one!

YANBU - maybe we're just over generous, but when family look after DS for a night, we give a bottle of wine and/or some chocolates at least.

However, as others have said, give her a few days, something might arrive.

YANBU but maybe she forgot. You can't really expect people to behave impeccably all the time. As far as I am concerned if someone behaves well most of the time and has one occasion when they behave badly I can forgive it.

YANBU

Three nights! I don't think many people would have done what you've done. I couldn't turn up empty handed to collect my children after that long. I used to give my friend £10 and a bottle of wine if she picked up my children from school and gave them tea on the rare occasion I had a weekday job.

I know you didn't do it for a gift, but even the smallest gift would have shown she appreciated it. Maybe something will turn up this week though then you'll feel bad

Maybe your gift is in her luggage which she hasn't unpacked yet.
When I get back from hols all I want to do is eat and sleep, so like others have said, maybe give her a few days to redeem herself.

Thanks everyone. Nothing this morning, and I'm going away tomorrow. Never mind. Will put this behind me and not think about it again. Thanks for all the replies. Was v.low yesterday, so this helped me understand that I wasn't being unreasonable to be a bit disappointed, but that other people do things in different ways.