AIBU to study a full time intensive course?

[ibangthedrums]

I am due to start an MSc in Sept to retrain. It is v v intense and involves placements. I had planned to put the DC (4 - just missed school intake and 1) into full time nursery/pe school and treat it like a full time job so don't have to work evenings/weekends on a regular basis.

DS1 could go to pre school attached to his school for 3 hours in the mornings, which would be good for his development but it would mean me picking him up (eating into study time) to take him to nursery when I can or relying on DH/Mil when I am at Uni or on placement which would be tricky to say the least.

I have just spoken to my Mum who says I should arrange things differently and they should not do full time, esp DS2 and DS1 should go to his school pre school. I would have to study at weekends etc. DH is supportive but works v long hours so it it fair to ask him to do a 50hr week at least and then all weekend?

I feel now as if doing this course is a v selfish move, esp as I already have a good job (on career break at the moment). I could maybe defer but I am worried about what is happening to HE with the cutbacks and it is a funded healthcare course which I could not do if I had to pay the fees. On that basis I think it may be better to do it whilst the course it still there!

AIBU to arrange things in this way?

I am just finishing a postgrad course which I have done PT (should actually be revising at the moment !) and I have done it whilst having my 2 dc (one is 3, the other 9 months) with no childcare as the course was evenings and weekends. I am glad to have done it but it has been very very difficult for us as a family as we dont have any family near by (although my MIL has been great and stayed when she can) but I know it has put strain on dh and I as we have had practically no time to spend together and there has been far too many weekends when he has had to take the kids off so I can work and I have really felt like I have missed out (well we all have). Plus looking after kids all day followed by hardcore studying is pretty hard work!
So i think your idea is a good one - to treat it like a full time job and still have evenings and weekends. As long as you won't regret not being with your kids all day every day at this stage.. but I think you have already decided on that. all the best to you

From the other side of the fence - speaking as an academic, I think your plan to treat it as a full-time 9-5 style job is the best plan. Every time I've had a mature student, whether as an undergraduate or graduate, who is working in this way they've been excellent - much more organised, motivated and efficient than "conventional" students, regardless of their natural ability. And although it's stressful, it can also I think be a big advantage for your academic 'identity' to be only one part of a much bigger (and well established) life - it means you are likely to be more robust and realistic about how to make it work best for you, without it becoming too much of an identity crisis! Whereas for a lot of students studying looms very large in their sense of themselves.

"more family care" was meant to be "more family time"