to not want my 5 year old son to say these things?!

[Disenchanted3]

He is the eldest and I suppose a bit sheltered as far as interacting with old children, he is the eldest of the whole etended family.

Before he started school he was very stuborn, he argued, and had tantrums, I by no means think he is perfect but he was 'nice and polite'.

Now he is going to schooll and coming home saying the most horrid stuff.

I spoke to his teacher who agreed the things he were saying weren't nice but that alot of the other kids had older siblings who say things and the siblings pick up on this.

I just feel angry that hes going to school and coming home and telling me things that have been said like 'I'll punch your lights out' and things like that.

He also said that 2, yes 2 of his 'friends' said that if he didn't play with them, they would kill themselves!!

We live in a deprived area and theres alot of families that, I feel, don't bother too much with their kids, let them roam, don't dress them properly etc... but we are not like that and I want to teach my son to respect people and be a good boy but I feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle in this area.

Its one of the best schools in the area too! Acatholic school with mostly 2's and several 1 ratings with ofsted.

Idon't know, I feel like I want to keep him at home away from it all.

No, they won't be teaching anyone else it. DD is in year 3 and said it very matter of factly, it's not interesting enough for her to tell her friend st school, I am sure most of them know it by now anyway

DS knows he will get in trouble if he says it to anyone in school or within the family home ever again

I am thinking of a particular child that he has learned these words from thus my comments about the parents

Nothing to do with bringing up properly or not - as I said, I know for a fact that ds learned "fuck" from the beautifully spoken child of an antiquarian bookseller who has been on TV. And on the BBC to boot!

And "wanker" from that most middle class of programmes, "Outnumbered"

Don;t be shocked. Just teach them when and where. But most of all, don;t be shocked. Or they'll do it more.

~For what it's worth, I come from an achingly posh background - and I had to learn that my father's favourite term of affection - "buggerlugs" wasn't fit for all occasions.....!

I know seeker. I just feel so pissed off about it right now.
I really hate young children swearing, I am trying not to react too much as I know it will become the fun word of the month.

I hate it too, it really gets me down when it's all around me, on the bus etc.

But to lighten the mood:

My friends dad, who sadly died last year, was a very posh, proper man, local councillor etc. It always makes me smile when I remember walking past his study and heard the most exasperated cry: "oh, knickers"

OMG seeker - we use the term buggerlugs for ears. DS2 used to run around at playgroup shouting it, and became known as "buggerlugs Charlie" by his best friend

I started to say "rats" instead or shit in front of the kids. Strangely satisfying

Guess we'll all soon be worrying about drugs and sex, and then the odd buggerlugs'll come as light relief.....

Nothing to do with deprived area either. we live in quite affluent area. great catholic school. sought places. a few rough children but generally very very nice caring mums. everyone takes great interest in how their children are doing booth in reading , writing and friendships. but not in a nasty competitive way. beautiful ethos they have. still we get all that you and others describe. agree with cory.
they will hear it. but know its not right so shouldn't repeat it. no doing it just coz the others are.

Outnumbered is on after the watershed... for a reason it would seem.

My 7 yr old DD has never said fuck, despite having, I'm sure, heard me mutter or splutter it on numerous occasions over the years. She does, on occasion, say bugger and bloody, and frequently "oh my GOD!" for which she gets a mild reprimand. That bothers me far less than the threats of violence stuff "I'm going to kill you/punch you/smash your head in" she came home with in reception/yr1 - those met with a fairly stern explanation of what that actually meant and why it wasn't at all nice to say it.

I think they are inevitably going to learn the language; it's our job to teach them the appropriateness of such language.

Kids hear stuff at school from all walks of life. You can say please and thank you 100 times a day but why is it my DS heard me say shit once when I nearly crashed the car and takes delight in repeating it constantly? Its what kids do. As long as you keep up your standards at home it will probably pass. Sometimes the more of a big deal you make it, the more of an issue it becomes.

YANBU. I also think it's part of school life unfortunately. My DS goes to a 'nice' village school but I nearly fell over last week when he told Optimus Prime to kick Megatron in the nuts. Sigh

last year my DD (2) started saying "oh my dod" (oh my God) and "oh dudda" (oh bugger)!!! needless to say we replaced it with 'oh my word' and 'oh dear' - she now has a habit of saying "oh my WOOOOOOOORD!"

My son learned his first swear words from Richard Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear lol

I don't think you're being unreasonable or snobby but I think this is typical behaviour for children that age. My eldest started Reception in September and he is very polite. He'd only been at school a short time and the rude comments started appearing. We just tell him not to say it and emphasise that it isn't nice and if he repeats it he will get in trouble (at home and) at school.

I think you're being a bit precious - you cannot protect them from this once they are at school and independent . However you can insist that he doesn't talk like that at home or repeat it back to other children and adults as it simply is not an acceptable expression. Just because he sees and hears it doesn't mean he has to be part of it.