To think that women who say really nasty things about other women behind their backs are insecure?

[baloothebear]

n women can be so cruel abouyt other women esp behind their backs and I hav eto say that it makes me very wary of their company.
Sometimes people can be really mean.

IME men are just as bad, if not worse.

So don't think its a women thing - its a human being thing.

projection is a base coping strategy not a gender issue at all.

Its not a woman thing but I agree htat generally speaking when a person does this it is through insecurity. Unless they're right and the other person HAS done something crap.

People who are happy and secure in themselves aren't negative about others without good reason.

Why, OP, what has happened?

I have witness it with my own eyes only yesterday 3 women sitting together laughing joking the best of friends, but I was well aware they have all slagged each off in the past!!! totally amused me!!! sometimes it s not about making true friendships it about what s in it for people!!!

If someone talks about someone else to me I wonder what they say about me behind my back!!! stay well clear of these sorts of people

depends on who said neg comment and why.family/friend ouch yes that would hurt.social acquaintance,less so

also one needs a self efficacy and robustness too. i dont mean to be flippant but well shit happens you deal with it

I'm not bothered by what is said about me unless, as sm says, it's by a friend

I try not to judge or bitch but sometimes I do in spades

it's life
grow a skin

When it comes to casual acquaintances, have low expectations and you won't be disappointed.

I suppose we are all guilty of this to some extent - but I tend to be very careful who I trust with any confidences if they 'bitch' about mutual acquaintances in my company.

Bitchiness is commonplace amongst both genders but yes, it seems a lot more common amongst women. Find it pathetic myself.

I think it seems more common amongst women because it's so often done in unisex groups; that is, men bitch about men to other men and women bitch about women to other women. So we hear the women more than the men.

Men gossip just as much, and criticise, and put down other men. They call each other pussies or fags, they pull sports stars to verbal pieces, they speculative about who's shagging who, it goes on and on.

People will always talk about people they know and have in common.

My husband and two of our (married) best friends (so even mix of men and women) were discussing our very good mutual friend's (who's been single for years) new-ish girlfriend last night. We weren't bitching per se but were expressing a little bit of disappointment that she hasn't slotted in with our group as well as we would have hoped. Hopefully that doesn't make us horrible people.

I do agree though, that saying really nasty things about others behind their backs is generally not a sign of a nice person. I just don't think it's the preserve of women though - agree with what tortoise says - men can be just as horrible.

I think men are just as likely to slag another man off to his face though. And if a bloke doesn't like another bloke he won't have much to do with him. IME the samne isn't true about women and some of the nastiest people I have known have been women. Like the OP, and having been on the recieveing end of such nastiness, it makes me very wary of other women.

Gawd, apologies for typos there.