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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to stop inviting my family to things..

12 replies

biddysmama · 26/05/2010 11:57

they are so embarrasing

first one was i bought them tickets to ds's first proper concert with his school choir it was in a function room so not very big... they sat through his bit, then other people came on and they started complaining loudly that they could see anything, that the singers were rubbish, that one of the dancers was very obviously gay... then started saying they were bored then said they were bored and it was too long and got up and went, complaining to everyone how boring and long it was

on sunday at ds's confirmation they complained that they had to sit at the side after getting there late (i told them not to or they wouldnt be able to sit) then complaining that they couldnt hear the priest, then had a loud conversation about how old my dd is, they couldnt decide, then they started laughing and giving a commentary on what was going on(he's blessing the bread...) when the priest went to bless the children my nan said "whats he doing, is he counting them, does he not know how manythere are... then they were commenting about a teenage girls very short dress and her " whats she been eating, lard" friend and then as it was finishing grandad said, " is that it, can we go now?"

i dont think i can take ny more of it! am i being hormonal or is this not acceptable behaviour? one of the other parents had to shush them so it wasnt just me!

OP posts:
swanandduck · 26/05/2010 11:59

YANBU. Your family sound very rude.

2rebecca · 26/05/2010 12:29

I agree they sound rude. I would tell them you find their behaviour rude and ask them to keep quiet during events and ask questions about them afterwards rather than talking loudly during them. If you feel you can't say this to them then I'd just not tell them about things. It doesn't sound as though they enjoy the events anyway.
If they are always this rude and selfish then it may be difficult for you to change them. How many of them are there anyway? Does pack mentality take over if there are loads of them? I presume if just your parents you'd call them your parents not your "family".
It sounds as though they aren't used to formal occasions and don't like them much.

AMumInScotland · 26/05/2010 12:35

Do you think you'd be able to get through to any of them just how unpleasant they are being? It's certainly not acceptable behaviour - after all, all the other families sat through the performance when it wasn't their own child's piece.

If you think they might understand and try to do better, I'd have a serious talk with them and give them one last chance.

But after that (or without that if you just don't think they'd get it), I'd just stop inviting them. If they ask why, then say "Oh but you found the last one so long and boring, I didn't think you'd want to come"

lazarusb · 26/05/2010 12:36

I feel for you. My Grandad (much as I loved him) used to do similar things- loudly. Think my Dad is stepping into his shoes now.

biddysmama · 26/05/2010 12:39

its my grandparents and my great aunt (who goes every where with them)... my mum, step dad and brother were laughing at something most of the time at church

OP posts:
Cobbstar · 26/05/2010 12:43

YANBU - they sound incredibly rude and it is obviusly embarrassing and stressful for you.

biddysmama · 26/05/2010 12:47

i actually pointed out ds's teachers and head teacher to them as well, they were sat facing us at the other side of church thinking they might stop but they didnt....

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 26/05/2010 12:52

It sounds like they have absolutely no concern about anyone else's feelings. I think I would simply stop inviting them to any event where they could embarass themselves (or tbh embarass me, since they don't seem to feel any themselves!)

Firawla · 26/05/2010 13:00

YANBU @ all, their behaviour is so rude! I would not invite and if they ask why then tell them

pippop1 · 26/05/2010 16:52

I work in a day centre for older people and many of them talk about others in front of them. For example they say that someone doesnt look well or is annoying them and the person is right there.

Sometimes they comment on me and I'm a metre away.

I think it tends to be those who can't hear well that do this. If someone is the otherside of the lounge and they themselves wouldn't be able to hear them if they talked then they think that their own speech can't be heard.

It's a bit like kids hiding their eyes. If they can't see you they think you can't see them.

I reckon it's old age and bad hearing in combination. If you mention it to them they they'll probably get cross.

RunawayWife · 26/05/2010 16:55

YANBU at all they sound vile

MadamDeathstare · 26/05/2010 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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